Wednesday 29 June 2005

First the knitting

Was touched by the Feed the Children appeal for jumpers so took the shiny red yarn I got on ebay but never really liked texturally (I LOVE the colour and the shiny glittery bits and it is soft but something about it makes me feel uncomfortable - no I can't explain it) and started a very plain little thing.
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And then here is branching out that I tried in not particularly good wool. Looks quite pretty though.
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Then the rest

Have annoyingly allowed myself to have a suicidal spree of thinking this morning. All because my boss just (rather unnecessarily but fairly predictably) took the piss in a team meeting when I made a comment. That started me thinking about moving job and that started me thinking about not knowing what to do. So then that started me thinking about how the whole concept of 'obsolescence' is what put me in hospital with the depression anyway and that got me thinking about how much longer it was going to take to get better and THAT left me thinking about whether I'd made the right choice not to top myself at the time. All this thinking took about 3 milliseconds which left me slapped round the face with the wet fish of suicide in the middle of a team meeting with my boss laughing at me. Now have to dig myself out of the hole I just fell in. Thankfully it is knitting at golders green tonight so that should lift my spirits a bit.

5 comments:

Daisy said...

A year ago I was in much the same boat and couldn't believe that things would get better. This year has been horrendous, but there have been good parts - and I've learnt to knit! As long as I've got enough umph to do something (like knitting) then things don't seem so bad. Oh, and my job situation looked absolutely awful this time last year too, but things then sort of fell into place without me doing very much about them...
Take care

scarletprincess said...

Oh Sweetie, don't let losers like your boss drag you down... just think that you have made it this far since your troubled time and things will only get better. I usually find knitting keeps my mind from straying onto sore subjects and thought spirals.
Chin up
Fi x

Nickerjac said...

Some people are just a waste of space and it sounds like your boss is one of those people.
Isn't it amazing hpw going to a knitting group can make you feel ten times better I know the liberty group was a lifeline to me

Man said...

No don't get down on yourself instead revenge, vengence even sabotage. Knit one and perl two all you want but don't let this jerks actions go unpunished, karma may work but sometimes you have to help it along.

Alison said...

I've suffered from depression since my teen years, and have been on prozac for about 10. Don't let folk grind you down, you have such a great handle on your illness. Keep knitting, it's great therapy! It always refocusses my mind anyway!