Sunday, 18 September 2005

Want to buy a flat in Stratford?

Whatever you do, do not buy this one....although note the artistic array of tampons in the bathroom - all my own work you know. I went to art college....

Yes somewhere along the way the landlord came in and took photos without our permission. The thing that bothers me is certain features that have not been mentioned but help contribute to the 'luxury' feel of this flat.
  • The lift has been broken for more than a week. When working it contains rubbish and mud.
  • The stairs you use instead of the lift have luxury footprints all over the walls, rubbish and mud on them. If you venture down to the 'lower ground floor' you will find...
  • Stinking rubbish left outside where the lift should open. Loads of it. This is here because....
  • The drains all flooded about 4 months ago and never got sorted out. The bit that floods most regularly is where the bins are. It is possible the drains flooded because they were blocked up with....
  • Dead rats the size of Colin's puppies. What kind of a place is too unhealthy for rats to live in?
  • Moving back to the flat you have the 'luxury' surroundings of south africans in the flat below who fancy the eastern europeans on the ground floor who have a small garden below the 'balcony' (replace with 'big window'). This results in much shouting, screaming, bellowing as they communicate via a series of primitive 'ugh' s. Both groups are also friends with the greeks upstairs although the greeks favour europop, the south africans favour shite heavy metal and the eastern europeans favour maria carey. They selflessly take great lengths to give the neighbourhood the chance to enjoy their music too - often all at the same time.
  • Then there's the flat next door with their luxury 'blood-splatter-on-the-wall' lifestyle. Lost your keys? Don't worry. Your luxury neighbours will help you break in with their tool of choice, a saw, and then share with you the secrets of stealing electricity from the concierge's supply.
  • Did I say concierge? Ah, let me introduce you to an ever changing random stream of people who are rarely found in their office but are more frequently found on the end of a mobile with curiously authentic pub noises in the background. But never fear, should your neighbour's door be kicked in, the glass in the door in your hall have two massive holes bashed through it, blood splatter on your walls, the concierge will jump to reluctantly admit something might have happened and get round to thinking about sorting out the blood three days later and will respect the tenant's rights to privacy by not calling the police or getting involved in any way.
Do I sound bitter? Hmmmm, four more days then we're out of here. But look at the price - £270k odd. For that amount you get all this nastiness which you can bet the estate agent won't think to mention. How on earth can you buy a house or flat with any confidence now a days?

Anyway, we will be at Iceland Wharf from Thursday. Thank god.

On my mission to reduce my WIPs. I finished the 'y', ripped the ghastly sock, ripped the gone wrong mitred square and am about half way through it's successor. Also managed to finish the bottom rib on rob's aran - that is going to be a monster of a jumper. The wool is quite coarse in that it's not merino smooth but it's knitting up really nicely. I would post a picture but....frankly...it's just 14 rows of rib. Will post once I get cabling.

7 comments:

Fred said...

Our contract has a clause in it giving permission for landlord/agent to enter the property for purposes of selling/reletting in last months of the tenancy. It may well be the same with yours. However, I do think it bad form for you not to have been told that he was coming in. I've got loads of stuff laying around that I wouldn't want my landlord seeing!

At least though you can count down days now until you're out so be positive and leave all the negativity behind you when you leave there.

Becky said...

All I can say is thank god you are leaving - what a nightmare place - it's such a dreadful situation that the Estate Agents can just fail to mention stuff that means that the new owners will be living in hell. Keep your chin up !

PURLPOWER said...

please move to newcastle! You can buy a nice flat here for 70K and I will make sure you have a good time.....good luck with the move
Hxxx

Jennifer said...

In a word, ewwwww.... Glad you're getting out of there.

Annarella said...

(got myself a Blogger account so I can comment again)

I can't believe that innocent looking exterior harbours so many nightmares. I think the building looks lovely from the outside... appearances can be deceiving, can't they... good luck with the move, you're almost moving to my neck of the woods, so if you want to grab a coffee sometime, just let me know.

Anna x

Tracy said...

I'm still giggling reading this post, you're priceless! If only they could really use descriptions like yours. Thanks for the laugh, I hope your new home is everything you want it to be.

Jess said...

Heavens! Glad you are leaving that place - sounds awful. Posted the yarn to you today, so should get it v. shortly.

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