Thursday, 21 October 2010

Day 19

Here we arrive at Day 19, and what do we see? Different hair colour, everything else the same. Hmmm.
The 19th is getting closer
Pooch and I have been talking a bit more recently and spent some time together at the weekend and had dinner last night. We have been talking about what we feel is wrong and what we've been happy about. At the moment there seems to be an awful lot that is wrong. Plus there are things wrong that I didn't know were wrong which have only come up since we started talking about what was wrong. So to keep the marriage going we are going to have to rebuild it completely.
Thick arrow made from jigsaw puzzle pieces
This echoes a comment a reader called "Lauri" left that said....
"Just remember that you don't have to make any permanent decision. You can choose what's OK for now, and choose something else later. FWIW, I've been married for 21 years and marriage is HARD. It's really hard. You're not alone in finding that relationship the most difficult thing you will ever do!"
This is something I've thought about quite a lot, along with something in a book I've been reading about the 'fit' between two people. The fit there was when you met will not necessarily always fit right. People change over time and so the fit between them is bound to change too. Some things, after a while, just don't fit anymore.
Cat asleep in a really small box

Having decided that there was no point going back to Relate for a third time, we're going back to Relate for a third time. I changed my mind after drinking Raspberry Shortcake cocktails with a friend who I have never known to willingly answer any direct question, but who is good at reflecting stuff back to you.

Raspberry Shortcake Cocktail
* 1 shot Amaretto
* 1 shot Tuoca (no I have no idea what this is either. Plus the internet thinks the factory that makes it is closing down. I think vanilla vodka would do fine)
* 1 shot Chambourd (raspberry liquer)
* Cranberry Juice
* Ice
* Bucket to drink it out of

So. There you go.


Lisa L said...

No truer words have been spoken - marriage is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. And it's been 23 years. There are good times and there are bad times. Luckily for me the good times have always come back around again and outweighed the bad times. But it is a delicate balance that I'm aware of each and every day.

Katie said...

Oh, I hope they're not discontinuing Tuaca, it's my favourite drink!
I would say that you'd need to add some orange essence and coriander seed to re-create the taste. It has a definite citrusy, spicy element to it.
And I'm really sorry to hear about your current troubles. I'm sure that no matter what happens, you'll shine again one day.
xx Katie.

Becky said...

I am so glad to hear that you are going to give it another go. I was just having this chat with a friend the other day how, when you meet someone you are one way and then life happens, things change and you are, neither of you the people that you once were - that can be good, if you both change in a similar direction, or not so good. Either way it's worth finding out if you can move in approximately the same direction. I really hope you can - Marriage can be such a wonderful thing, and other times, not so much, hopefully the good will outweigh the not so good in the most part. x

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