Lixie Makes It

Two Pints Byrne

2012-02-18T17:36:00.001Z

I drank two pints of beer last night.

I haven't done that ever. In fact I don't even like beer. I was out with friends, one of whom is editor of a beer journal (I'm not making this up) and he recommended this stuff called Boon which tasted of beer not at all. In fact I quite liked it. Apparently it is a spontaneously fermented beer (no I don't know what that means either) and has sour cherries in it. It was certainly a good pink.

I've woosed out of my date for tomorrow. I just wasn't feeling it. On the plus side I now have the whole day to play with my new sewing machine.

A is for ace.

Give me a Resin to Love you

2012-02-15T17:33:00.000Z

Much time ago I bought a kit to make resin pendants. It was another phase I was going through and nothing would satisfy me til I had made one. Then of course the kit took a week or so to arrive from america (perfectly understandable - lovely seller) to arrive and by then I had moved on to my next obsession. I'm sure that is typical of how the craft addiction cycle works for so many of us. There's so much craft...and so little time...Except there isn't really. There's lots of time and no need to hug every cat or do every craft right now. But anyway.

By no means perfect - you can see the resin has soaked into the white one - but overall I am very happy with them.

The white lady is actually from the envelope Natalie made me for LetterMo. She said she used that page because she thought I'd like the topic and I liked it so much I've immortalised it! Despite multiple warnings with the instructions I wasn't careful enough about sealing the paper (hence it soaking in in that little semi circle) so that is a lesson for next time.

The thing I love about resin is the 3D effect even on a flat surface. Of course that is increased if you use a bevelled container (all of these ones came with the kit).

You can see there were a few teeny tiny air bubbles caught in the holes of the buttons but I can live with those. I think next time I will try sewing some cotton through the button holes so they look more sewn on.

I've got more of the resin left and have ordered a few bezelled ring blanks. I'm thinking a WWE series of rings :)

Seriously though - Can't Hug Every Cat. Everyone should watch this.

Start of a New Era

2012-02-12T10:42:00.000Z

Bernie came to dinner last night - two person knit'n'natter, very good - and brought the embroidered sewing machine I'm possibly buying from a friend. I've got it on trial.

I have *always* wanted one of these.

I am slightly hamstrung by having been caught unawares with no suitable interfacing in the house. Seriously - I have how many cubic metres of craft supplies and I don't have even a hankie's worth of soluble interfacing? The shame.

Bernie asked me what I was going to use it on. Well for a start all my pyjamas and dressing gowns (hey, I have two, get over it) are getting monograms. Then all my underwear are having inappropriate words added to them. Then I might get a bit more serious and explore some of the Urban Threads designs.

My cold went into remission yesterday - I woke up feeling splendid and even went outside and everything. But by the time Bernie left last night I was full of it again and feel grotty this morning. So I guess it's a good time for catching up on correspondence.

I got two lovely #lettermo letters yesterday and read them both with interest. Natalie had posted about receiving mine on her blog

"two pages in italic-ish handwriting which made me slow down to absorb the information. We are so used to reading typeface in magazines, newspapers books and online and I found myself needing to take my time, not because it was hard to read, but it’s been a while since I read someone else’s script"

I could relate to this completely when I sat down to read my two. But then one of them was shorter than the other BUT contained two photographs of wrestling! Talk about a bonus. I shall query their origin in my reply.

Snow Again

2012-02-10T16:08:00.000Z

I never mentioned the snow we had over the weekend. Last night it fell again which coincides with my curling up at home with a cold. I've spent the day so far doing a cat impression on the sofa. I did wonder about going outside for some fresh air and even went as far as opening the window.

That's far enough - baby steps.

I have cast on my first ever piece of double knitting. This is the technique and not a reference to the DK weight of the yarn. It does make it difficult to google though. There is a clear tutorial by Phazelia, who I was swap partners with many moons ago, free on Ravelry.

It is definitely slower than your usual or even ribbing (which it basically is but with a slight change) but then we were all slow knitters when we first started and I have sped up already. I'm randomly adding a dot where I feel like it without worrying about an even pattern. Of course the last thing I needed was to start another project but bleh - don't be mean to me, I'm ill. If you can do 1x1 ribbing then you can double knit and the resulting fabric is deliciously spongy. Of course it will probably be summer by the time I finish the hat - but then maybe I'll go whale watching in Norway and need it.

LetterMo - blogged about here - is in full swing. I'm rather enjoying it! I've written five so far and am now out of stamps.

If you'd like to receive one from me then send me your address: littlelixieat hotmaildotcom.

Well That's Not Good

2012-02-08T18:56:00.000Z

I have never pretended to be an athlete.

I would not have said that I even particularly liked running.

But I liked the feeling of fitness and the way it kept my bulges to mere hillocks rather than mighty mountains.

I'd been getting shin pain so I went to the Physio. He told me to stop running. I am downcast.

Come on guys! Aren't I due a bit of a break? I finally find something that's good for me and now I can't even do that! I'm really quite annoyed about it. He says I've got flat feet. Flat feet!! I thought that only happened to malingerers trying to get out of national service in the forties. So because the arches aren't doing their shock absorber thing my shins are baring the brunt of it.

I was already a little concerned about the next week or two. I've had psychotic PMT the last couple of times and what with breaking up with Gordon I was not looking forward to this month's instalment. I've been reading up and calcium is supposed to help so I've been knocking back milk and supplements. Exercise is the other essential and now, kaboom, out that goes. I'm going to try swimming. But. No matter what those bloody adverts say. There are some times of the month when I would not feel comfortable going swimming.

Bah.

I made a necklace.

It didn't really cheer me up so I went back to admiring my embroidery.

Just a shame my photography skills aren't quite as good.

Letter Mo

2012-02-07T20:03:00.000Z

I've not done very well with challenges recently. But coincidentally having written a letter to my ickle brother last week I was thinking maybe it would be nice to have a penpal or something. Not in the Brownie sense. More like in the 'thought you might find this interesting' sense.

Natalie has pointed this out to her Twitter followers. I've signed up and find myself 6 letters behind already! I'd better get writing. Would anyone like a letter from me? I'll post internationally. My email address is on the contact page (tab just below my header) so send me your postal address.

Bye bye baby, baby goodbye

2012-02-04T12:08:00.000Z

Single again. Again. Ah well. Flash was my third relationship since I left the marital home and I've learnt a lot from all of them. Onward and upward.

I've been tidying up as I'm joining the Exchange Away website for swapping houses with people for holidays. In case anyone reading does have a property in Amsterdam, America, Peru or somewhere else interesting I have a one bed flat with an additional sofa bed which could sleep 4 at a pinch but more like 2 comfortably which is 10 mins from Canary Wharf. You will find it here.

While tidying I wound the skeins of wool I dyed for the cloud jumper. Here they are.

I'm very pleased with how it came out. I used Kemtex acid dyes in grey, navy blue and ultramarine, all quite watered down and then had set aside 2 cakes worth of undyed for the clouds themselves.

I also took some photos of WIP. This is the Minnie the Minx jumper which is approaching the armpits.

I was making it reversible but have decided to stick with the 'right side' of the stocking stitch. I just adore the sequins.

During the week I went to Sheffield for work and had time for a trip to the Wool Baa while I was there. A very lovely shop, crammed to the rafters and with an excellent selection. Bus stops abound or it is about a half hour walk from the train station.

I got some lovely things. The Cascade 220 is for a felted bag. I was planning one in fabric but couldn't find the right fabric. When I saw the heather green and the grey I knew a felted bag would do the job.

I'll write up the pattern once I see if the concept works out. It's a bit tricky because the shrinkage is so different top to bottom and left to right (yes - I actually swatched AND felted the swatch). I adore the colours though.

Sheffield itself was fecking freezing but as well as the shop I popped into the Millennium Gallery where the Crocheted Coral Reef was coincidentally in residence.

Just after taking the photo I was very politely told photos weren't allowed because of copyright. I didn't point out I'd crocheted some of it. And no - I couldn't spot my bit! It's reached massive proportions now. Of course Sheffield is famous for its metalwork. My eye was drawn to a display of scissors which included some HUGE shears...

...juxtaposed with these tiny little things.

They reminded me of the baby crabs we used to find on the beach when I was little. A tiny yet perfectly proportioned version of the fully grown adult. They were perhaps 15mm tall...The cafe at the Gallery is very nice and would make a good knitting group venue. They had an amazing "mix it yourself" hot chocolate where they brought you jugs of chocolate, milk and marshmallows and then left you to it.

Very nice. The setting was equally pleasant. Beautiful palms abounded.

And then there was the background hum. Actually it was more than a hum in this case. I felt like I was in some sort of Alan Bennett monologue as the woman sitting at the table next to me and who is leaning into the picture was amazingly annoyed and outraged by how she had been treated by an outlying branch of her family and was telling her companion all about it. In retrospect, I don't remember the companion saying anything at all.

Lixie Makes It - the Shop!

2012-01-31T08:26:00.000Z

I've started adding things to my etsy shop. I've got just a few bracelets so far and some of the stitchmarker kits. Let me have your feedback - all constructive criticism is welcomed!

Use Coupon Code OPEN20 to get 20% off!

Busy

2012-01-29T18:58:00.000Z

I have quite an active weekend. Firstly I was making jewellery. Not unknown I know but this is different - inspired by Nickerjac's success I am opening a little etsy shop. Photos are not my forte but here are some samples...

I've not listed them yet but when I do I shall post the shop link here and .... a coupon code. I do love a discount.

My next little endeavour was dyeing the yarn for my cloud jumper. I had dyed samples of an aran weight but have ended up with 4-ply. I'm also considering intarsia instead of fairisle to make it less bulky. I've unvented (in the Zimmermann sense) a way of doing intarsia in the round. I need to experiment to see if it will work properly though.

The yarn is still drying but looks rather nice. Flash thought the jumper would be just out of this stuff but I have some undyed from the same skeins put aside for clouds. This is all after having originally tried this with some Kauni back in June 2011. My crafting speed may be more glacier creep than pyroclastic flow but I get there in the end.

Lastly I am on stripe 8 of my minnie the minx jumper. I adore the sequins! I'm using russian joins so it can be reversible if it needs to be. They are the next best thing after spit splicing and the yarn is only 30% wool so that wouldn't work. I know that sequins and beads on yarns with bits in always gravitate to the reverse side but I do so much prefer the look of the front of stocking stitch. So I am going to aim to have the whole thing reversible so I can decide which looks best at the last possible minute.

It is the 25th WWE Royal Rumble tonight. I won't be watching it live because of the timing but I should have it in time for tomorrow night. I am VERY much looking forward to it.

Books 2012, #4-6

2012-01-28T11:01:00.000Z

Clicking on the pics will take you to the relevant amazon page.

#4 "The Old Fox Deceiv'd" by Martha Grimes

This is the second of this series which I've been reading out of order for about 5 years now. Something that astonishes me everytime I remember is that the author is an american woman, living in america. Yet she has these books *so* perfectly set in both london and more rural parts of england in the early nineties. The key characters are Chief Inspector Jury who is one of those men you just want to take care of. He's fine by himself and has various relationships as the series develops but you can't help feeling that you'd get on. He is friends with Melrose Plant, who should be an Earl but has given up the title much to the annoyance of his Aunt who is very believably ghastly. All the books are named after traditional english pubs. In this one, where Melrose and Jury have only met once before, you see the relationship between them develop while Jury resolves a local murder and an ancient mystery. The books are very well written and very engaging. I'd definitely recommend them.

#5 "Appleby's Other Story" by Michael Innes

Another series I'm reading out of order but this time set a bit further back in maybe the fifties. There is no mention of the war or of things being "groovy" so it must be somewhere round then. Innes's writing is very wordy. There are double negatives and sub clauses all over the place. In that respect it is quite like Edmund Crispin and as a result these are not flippant books to be read lightly. You need a certain amount of concentration. Whether you enjoy this or not will depend on whether you can accept that a knighthood and age entitles a man to a certain amount of respect, which I guess it did at that time. The books are a nostalgic dip into a politer age and the solutions are usually pretty fiendish and so you're usually surprised at the outcome. This one is the same and if you like traditional character observed whodunnits you'll enjoy this.

#6 "Singing in the Shrouds" by Ngaio Marsh

This was the unabridged audiobook read by James Saxon. I've listened to this before and it's one I keep coming back to. The "Flower Murderer" has been strangling women and leaving flowers on their bodies. Another victim is found just as a ship with ten passengers on board pulls out of the dock en route to warmer climes. Could the murderer be on board? Inspector Alleyn joins the ship to find out. This is a rarity for Marsh's books as there is no mention of New Zealand or the theatre, but it is still a great example of her work and very entertaining.

I'm always banging on about this but if, like me, you get through a fair few books I would recommend Bookmooch. If I kept all the books I read I'd be on a Channel 5 hoarder documentary. Bookmooch costs nothing and you have books you want sent to you in the post in return for you posting books you don't want to a new home. Considering the postage I probably end up spending a pound with royal mail for each book I receive. So it's boot sale prices without needing to have a boot sale filled with like minded readers nearby. You can get any of the books below just by signing up and listing 10 books in your inventory.

Swap books at BookMooch.com

Dramatically Buttony

2012-01-26T21:09:00.000Z

A rather deathly photo of me in my new Buttony.

I wore it to work today since I managed to give myself food poisoning the day before and felt in need of comfort. You know that feeling when you snuggle down inside a warm blanket? It's felt like that all day. Snuggly.

Cat snuggly.

I fell off the wagon a week or so ago and bought some purple and red Galaxy. I loved it for my Hitchhiker and tried to resist the brighter colours and was sucessful for months!

Red and purple. I've cast on a stripey jumper. Wheeee!

There is a beautiful moon tonight - it looks like the Cheshire Cat's smile hanging there in the sky. Which reminds me of this graffiti I saw in Brick Lane at New Year.

Mow.

Mama's got a brand new....hat

2012-01-22T20:08:00.000Z

Not really. Mater and I did try on many hats though this weekend. For sister's wedding. This was my favourite on her.

The photos of me came out a little blurry. In any case I have been on etsy. How do you like these apples?

Source: etsy.com via Alex on Pinterest

I love this shop - the things are so delicate and beautiful looking. I broadened my search a bit and came across this. Isn't it astounding?

Source: etsy.com via Alex on Pinterest

I know it wouldn't suit me but...wow! It's practically got free-floating polka dots. My outfit is not yet confirmed so I won't buy anything yet, but that peacock one is certainly quite astonishing.

My book reviews (and thanks to those of you who have enjoyed them!) have reminded me of the usefulness of Bookmooch (I didn't buy any of the books I reviewed) and introduced me to Goodreads.com. They're both free and both very handy. For instance, these are just a few of the books I'm currently offering free to new homes on Bookmooch:

On Goodreads I list and rate the books I've read and get suggestions for more. I am a sucker for Amazon recommendations and so this is like that without then asking for my credit card details. Hoorah! By adding the Goodreads suggestions to my Bookmooch wishlist I widen my reading horizons without having to buy the books. Winning.

While trying on hats I saw this coat hanging up.

Definitely not my colours but I liked the appliqué dots and when I took a closer look...

Sashiko! I haven't done any for ages. Maybe it's time to dig it out again....

Books 2011, 1-3

2012-01-16T19:09:00.001Z

I have admired the Knitting on the Green book reviews over the course of 2011 and have several times added books to my own reading list as a result. I have decided to give it a go, but am not sure you're ready for this further insight into my warped reading habits. Incidentally, clicking on the images will take you to the relevant page on Amazon.

#1 "Pay Dirt" by Rita Mae Brown

This is one of a series that I am reading out of order as I get hold of them. It's a small town in Viginia and (stay with me) the Post Mistress is a divorcee with a cat and dog (a corgi - in case that swings it for you) and a farm which contains 2 horses, a possum, a snake and a barn owl. Also various mice and foxes and so on. There's also another cat that belongs to the owner of the town shop which is next to the post office. Why am I going on about the animals so much? Well they talk. But not to the humans (that would be silly). They talk to each other. So while the humans are solving the murders (for there is always a good handful of them) the animals are also solving them in their own way and simultaneously trying to keep Harry (the Post Mistress) from coming to harm as she is frequently almost killed by the unknown assassin. I'm guessing at this point my readers are divided into two - those of you who are surprised I read books where cats solve crime and those of you who are not surprised in the slightest. The latter group are those that have met me.

In this book (which is the fourth in this long series) a Hell's Angel arrives looking for his lady friend and very quickly turns up dead. Harry is meanwhile being wooed by her ex-husband (who is truly sorry and repentant for being such a dick) and a male model who has taken up residence to get away from the fakery of New York. It sounds dreadful right? It's not! These books are utterly sweet. There are few extremes and no one could take offence at the content. There are twists and turns and intrigues and puzzles and CATS! If you like things like Agatha Raison, Miss Marple, Miss Silver and CATS then this is for you. Here is a cat.

#2 "Death at Rottingdean" by Robin Paige

It's victorian times and an american woman who was brought up to be quite unrestrained marries an english lord and they go about solving crime together. The series is a typical example of its kind and is written well with an emphasis on the personalities and characters of the piece. There is evidence of quite a bit of research and there are a few pages of 'historical notes' at the end to show you how this could really have happened. In this one there are smugglers all over the place but things are not what they seem and people start dying. Rudyard Kipling is also there as a local resident. The books are a good read but there is a hint of morality that makes my lip curl slightly. Overall I wouldn't recommend going out and buying this but if you see it in a library it is a good rainy afternoon read.

#3 "Gunpowder Plot" by Carola Dunn

Oh god, I can see a pattern clearly developing. But really - I do read things other than historical mystery lites. This is one of the Daisy Dalrymple series. She is an 'honourable' and her husband (she meets him in the first book of the series) is a Chief Inspector of Scotland Yard. Stories are set in the twenties when it's a rarity for the classes to mix, especially as Daisy is very unusually earning her own living as a writer. I have read quite a few of these now and really liked this one. The characters are very believable and well written. The murders tend to be singular in these books and the one in this saga had me genuinely confused. It makes no sense! But sure enough Daisy teases it out. Here are some fireworks.

Right - I've just noticed Liz has posted her first reviews of 2012 so I am heading over there to have a look.

New Do

2012-01-14T18:59:00.001Z

Got my haircut using a Groupon.

I'm really quite happy with it - not that you'd know it from the picture. Managed to capture my grumpier side. Note the Randy Orton poster in the background. Nice looking man.

I spent this morning replacing the lining of my coat. It's been torn for about a year but it's been getting worse AND the pocket had split so...

I left the top bit since I didn't fancy tackling the sleeve inserts and there was nothing wrong with that bit. Plus I thought I could make it still look ok with the addition of some fancy tape.

I'm quite pleased with it.

I also used my rare daylight-hometime to choose buttons for my Buttony.

They are a little less dayglo than the pic suggests. My camera does seem to have gone a bit wonky with it's brightness settings recently. I'm thinking of getting an upgrade. Which brings me to Quidco.

This strange website gives you cashback on stuff you would have bought anyway. And you can get cashback just normal high street shopping. And you get money for clicking the 'check in' button on the free app while loitering in the doorway of closed mobile phone shops. I earned 70p walking from Bank to the hairdresser. It's not megabucks but it's 70p more than I normally get for walking past shops. They keep the first £5 of savings you make (check-in money doesn't count though so that 70p is mine boyo) then the rest is yours. Seems too easy? That's what I keep thinking. Time will tell.

The SpotBot Dream Dashed

2012-01-11T19:14:00.000Z

My venture into business has not got off to such a great start. I managed to choose a name which is already a hoover. Farewell SpotBot. It was fun while it lasted. So I am back to needing a shop name. And I think this is a clear sign that "Lixie Makes It" is my true home. I've also been considering my photography skills, wonderfully displayed in this very post. Would you buy this woman if she was photographed like this in an Etsy shop?

It was my attempt to capture my new outfit and clearly it didn't go so well.

Then there is my attempt to capture the samples I dyed last night for my cloud jumper. The real problem is lack of daylight.

I'm thinking I might need a daylight bulb and one of those pound shop diffuser cube things unless I want to wait to photograph things until the weekend and I pray for good weather. Sadly none of them seem right. It would be ok for a mediterranean sky but not so much for a UK one. I've ordered some more dye in two different colours so I'll see how they work out.

Then lastly I even managed to take an out of focus photo of Betsy modelling my sleeveless jumper.

The neckline ribbing is wrong. It looks OK at a distance but it's not centred properly at the front and it makes the rest of it look really amateur. I definitely have to rip it out but I'm not sure whether to redo it or go for an icord edging.

I went to see The Artist this week.

It was amazing. If you have ever seen a silent film then you can imagine the style - it actually is a real twenty-first century silent film. The storyline is brilliant. The acting is incredible - the lead male is so believable - and for those of you who like that sort of thing there is a really astounding dog. I was completely caught up in the story and at one point - and remember this is a silent film - I jumped. I would definitely recommend it. It is something you will regret not seeing on a big screen if you only watch it at home. But you should still watch it. Oh, and it has John Goodman in. And he is really good.

No More Shopping

2012-01-08T11:42:00.000Z

I swear this is my last splurge. For the first time in aeons I took myself down to Brick Lane. If you have any interest in vintage clothes and are in london I would recommend Beyond Retro. There are now several branches, including one just off Oxford Street, but the one in Shoreditch takes some beating. Behold the spoils...

My goal was 'office wear'. This little jacket seemed to tick boxes. Light enough for warm weather, smart yet quirky, aubergine coloured, right size. It was coming home with me. Next up...

This dress is one of those that proves one of the key rules of vintage shopping - you just can't tell from looking at it on a hanger. On the hanger in the shop it looked like a big lumpy bag of a thing. It also said it was a size 4. Once on it looks like some lovely little french number - perfect for wearing with low heels and an up-do. Possibly some little black framed glasses perched on the nose? I don't have any but...you know. I love the unnecessary button detailing.

Then finally I slipped. This does not fall within my shopping remit but....BUT....IT'S RED POLKA DOT.

Again, this looked very odd on the hanger and had some *enormous* shoulder pads which are now languishing in the bin. I may take an inch or two off the length but look at those pockets! Perfect for keeping kittens and other such equipment in.

My final purchase is what I may well wear to my sister's wedding in December and is not of the 'vintage' variety. As well as more vintage than you can believe there are lots of little designer boutiques and young designer pop-ups and so on in the area. This one is from The Laden Showroom where there are lots of little niches and each niche is a different designer. It's well priced too - plus there is a sale on!

It's a very dark maroon thin stripe corduroy wrap dress with a black cotton sash. It has proved almost impossible to photograph but you get the idea.

In between all this activity I've been beavering away on this.

I actually woke up at 7 this morning and had the armhole and v-neck steeks stitched and cut by 8.30am. By 10 I'd joined the shoulders, sewn down the steeks and steamed it all flat. Neck line and armholes will begin at the Romford knitting group this afternoon. I got most of the patterns and all the inspiration from my sister's xmas present to me - Alice Starmore's Charts for Color Knitting. Excellent book - even if they have misspelt it.

My next jumper is going to be using one of her all-over designs. So inspiring- I do like fairisle.

I got an exciting email last night from a friend I've blogged about before who is am AMAZING textile artist. It opens up several avenues of fun and as a hint as to what one of them is I leave you with this video she has made. It is only a minute long and very beautiful.

New header

2012-01-06T22:07:00.000Z

I am going to leave it as it is for a while to remind me that "standard" size is not always the "right" size.

On the 10th day of Christmas...

2012-01-05T08:56:00.000Z

As well as all my other lovely presents I got a bit of money and so decided to invest in a proper sewing box. It arrived yesterday!

I was slightly shocked at how orange the wood is. The picture suggested more of a pale ash coloured veneer but then we all know those warnings about monitor colours. Besides, it has grown on me.

I've tried to be terribly organised and give everything a proper place.

I know it won't last though! I had thought of covering it in stickers - like the sewing machine.

But somehow it looks a bit too prim and proper to be stickered.

I thought Angry Kitty looked like she needed some cheering up so I stopped off at Thorntons on the way home to find her a friend.

He didn't seem to make her any less angry so I ate him. Let's face it - he had it coming.

The man in the shop asked me what name I wanted on it. "Angry." I replied. He slowly raised one eyebrow. "This is someone's name?" he said. "More of their state of mind" was my reply.

Traditional Christmas

2011-12-28T21:00:00.001Z

Christmas at Mater's is a strictly traditional affair. There is a strong hint of the Victorian while food is at Edwardian, or possibly even Henry VIII, standard.

One of my favourites are Marzipan Fruit.

Nom. Mum even put them on the Christmas Cake.

Since I was born this amazingly retro crib has played a large part of the festivities.

I decided this year that the lamb wanted a better view so stuck him on top of the ox. Seemed fair enough to all concerned.

Things were enlivened by El Diablo.

She has fads. Her latest is sitting on the backs of armchairs instead of anywhere flatter. This would be fine but she has awful balance. She wobbles back and forth like a ship at sea. And when she jumps down she jumps from the back to the arm and then to the floor. Except last time she kind of missed the arm and belly flopped to the ground. Dignity is not a friend to this cat.

I got some lovely presents including the new Alice Starmore chart book but then I also got...

Just what I always wanted - me in wood form. I'm going to tuck it into the 'guest' side of the bed tonight. I've been thinking of naming her. I don't generally approve of naming inanimate objects but I'm thinking "Betsy". As in "heavens to". My dad made it for me from a paper template I made. It's varnished and everything so wet blocking will be a breeze. Hoopla!

Christmas

2011-12-25T10:15:00.000Z

Merry Christmas to you all.

I see the Pope has condemned the commercialisation and 'glitter' of christmas. I know what he means, but sometimes people need a little glitter in their lives.

Thumbs eh?

2011-12-23T09:05:00.000Z

I never realised how much i used my right thumb until I started getting what I suspect is RSI. I've moved my mouse to my left side at work but it's still getting worse. I suspect it is my iphone. Very annoying.

Despite this I was successful in completing a Fat Kittie yesterday. Mine is an angry kitty.

Each time I look at him I smile so it seems to be working quite well.

I finished the first of my lovely socks the other day.

I do love how it has turned out. Which brings me onto a touchy point. I have not yet packed any other knitting to take down to Mater's. One sock is not going to last me five days.

There were some very good points made in comments on my last post. I guess Christmas is always going to be a difficult time. I'm really looking forward to heading off in...eeek! Too few hours. I'd better go and pack.

It Only Takes a Minute...

2011-12-21T18:27:00.000Z

I have brung myself low.

I was clearing out old emails today and found one from Pooch which ended with "I love you Byrnington". Instead of pressing delete and moving on I lingered which dug the foundations of the hole (I know what I mean) and it then got deeper as the day wore on.

Steve from work (not only mentioned as an excuse to show a gratuitous santa shot again since it is indeed he) has been talking about buying a house with his wife. I am very happy for them. BUT...

It also reminds me once again of how close I was to buying a flat with Pooch, having a baby with Pooch, having security with Pooch...when all of a sudden I overhear a conversation and it's "Syonara". Of course it wasn't 'all of a sudden' but that's for dramatic effect and so the plot doesn't get bogged down in detail. It's not like I didn't blog about it all ad nauseum anyway.

What really enrages me though is not that I am so far off the housing ladder I'm actually in a hole next to the ladder (although that is really annoying) but that I still miss him! It's absurd. Ridiculous. Insane.

Even while I'm thinking about everything he did - the cheating, the lies, the drinking - I still miss him! It's so fucking annoying!

Does anyone have a solution? Actually, I did just buy a new bottle of Tia Maria. Maybe that's all there is to it.

While looking for pictures for this post I came across these awesome Fat Kitties.

She has an etsy shop here. Looking at the angry fat kitties has actually made me feel a bit less angry. Or that could be the second shot kicking in. My MIL who I miss so much sent me a cat calender yesterday. Nope, I'm back in the hole again. Pass the bottle...

Forward Planning

2011-12-19T19:15:00.000Z

Slow day at work today. I happened to be catching up with a few blogs when I came across this post at Skein's Blog. The IntSweMoDo (basically knitting a sweater a month) continues in 2012 and she discusses signing up. She also then ponders what she might make.

I've always admired people who sign up for that kind of thing. I am just not a joiner. As soon as I feel obliged to make something I'd rather do the washing up or clean the windows or a million other things. But then I do crave that feeling of achievement. Difficult. I think instead I might be better off with a list of "strong intentions".

1. Paper Dolls
I want mine to have a different motif and sleeves though.

I have played with a cheshire cat motif....not sure.

2. Harvest Moon
I pretty much like this the way it is.

3. Buttony Sweater
I have twice cast this on and twice frogged it. I think it's the yarn - I haven't found the right yarn for it yet. I really like this one:

4. Circles Cardigan
This is to be like the socks I've been making.

But with the pattern on the yoke and tops of the sleeves like this one I made aeons ago and have worn consistently ever since.

5. Spode Jumper
My Mum has all this blue and white spode china which is just beautiful. One of the saucers inspires me.

Over christmas I'll be charting this for a fairisle jumper. That's the plan anyway.

I think that's enough. I don't want to get carried away and convince myself that 12 sweaters in a year is achievable.

I got my first christmas present last night - a copy of the Quantum Mechanics book I blogged about before. That's my holiday reading sorted! Which reminds me - if you are not aware of Knitting on the Green I would go there. As well as gorgeous knitting and crafting Liz does excellent book reviews. I've read a couple this year on the back of her recommendations.

But Why Not?

2011-12-18T16:03:00.002Z

A couple of years ago I went to a kind of general wellbeing fair with my sister. There were gurus and coaches and motivators aplenty. I had a freebie 5 minutes with a career coach.

She asked me to think of my ideal job and of course (of course) I talked about knitting and pattern designing and dyeing and accessories and so on. "But" I said "there's no money in it."

"Do you know anyone who does make a living from it?" She asked me.
"Oh yes, lots of people." I said.
"So...why couldn't you earn a living from it?"

Of course (of course) I know it's not that easy and that if it were we would all be doing it. But...

I keep thinking there is no money in writing patterns - even while I am paying to download the occasional one from Ravelry. I have written patterns - they are on Ravelry and one even has 332 likes and has been made 54 times. I made this cardigan a while ago.

Yeah, I look kind of ill. I was quite mental around then. BUT the point is I was going to write up the pattern. I don't think I could remember it now. And I used to make stitchmarkers. And I sold them. People bought them I mean. I didn't just list them on etsy. Why did I stop doing that?

Over christmas I have printed a couple of things to take to Mater's so I can design a jumper and cardigan while I am down there. I am definitely going to keep notes as I go along so I can share them, even if it is just for free on this blog. I know it's a long way from casually writing up a pattern to earning a living but then from tiny seeds do giant vegetables grow...

As I type I am being taunted by the wholesome smells emanating from my slow cooker. I cannot recommend these strongly enough. Less than half an hour in the morning and by evening a delicious meal without any stirring, turning, adjusting etc. Plus if you are single you can make batches and then freeze portions for other days. Definite bonus. At the moment I have Irish Stew in progress using some of the chicken stock I made using my slow cooker 2 weeks ago.

A lot of people seem to have one but are not sure where to start. There are a zillion recipes online but I would recommend this book:

It's very cheap and quite small but really does explain the basics as well as having yummy recipes. The irish stew is from there and I've made loads of others in the past.

In love...

2011-12-12T19:55:00.000Z

I adore this pattern. It makes any self-patterning yarn look spectacular. I've made it twice for other people but never for myself. Having fallen for this yarn (Opal) in Iknit I knew the two were meant to be together. Loving it. I've been thinking of making a cardigan with the top third in this pattern like this one. Only without the nine freakin' dollars spent on the pattern. $9! For one pattern? Bleh.

Meanwhile I have a few more photos of the Santa Run...

I was thrilled to see on Twitter that Yarn Yard's Natalie has started Couch to 5K too. She says I inspired her and I was in turn inspired by another knitter. Aren't knitters great!?

Yesterday I took Gordon to a lecture of sorts by TV grinner Prof Brian Cox and his colleague Jeff Forshaw about their new book.

It was very interesting and I definitely want to read the book now. Hopefully I'll get it for xmas! The day had already been fairly awesome before we got to the South Bank for the lecture. Having got there early we had a good look round the christmas market and...what I've been wanting to do for weeks since I saw one outside the NHM...

You may have your whirlygigs and rollercoasters but give me a good old fashioned Carousel and I'm a happy bunny. Flash seemed to enjoy it too...

Adrift

2011-12-04T11:52:00.000Z

Erm. You know after your divorce comes through?

What are you supposed to do then?

DB just texted to ask me how I was feeling.

I dunno.

On the 3rd day of christmas...

2011-12-03T16:48:00.000Z

Today was the day of the big race.

My friend Steve had also agreed to do it and was running despite an ankle injury.

We were supported by my lovely bf and a number of other santas and their families. I think there were about 200 of us all together.

Flash took most of the photos so these are just a couple from my phone, but it was pretty awesome even though the first half was UPHILL! I have carefully mapped my runs to date so that they are on level ground so that was a bit of a shocker. But still, a mere 40 minutes after starting I was back again and medalled up. Oh yeah. AND we raised £155 - thanks to everyone who sponsored me and plenty of time left if you still want to. Click here for the JustGiving page.

I got home a little while ago utterly exhausted and a bit cold to find the Decree Absolute waiting for me. For those lucky people among you not up on divorce jargon - the decree nisi is permission from the Court to get divorced after they have accepted your evidence. The decree absolute is when the marriage is formally dissolved.

So for the first time since 1st August 2007 I'm single. I'll be honest - it's a bit weird.

Spinneroonie

2011-11-27T10:43:00.000Z

One of the WWE Smackdown commentators is called Booker T. He used to wrestle and now commentates. His celebratory move was the spinneroonie.

Now I've got my own spinneroonie.

Only a few so far but it just goes to show what a difference a day makes. I was totally against the yarn I'd got for my new afghan last week. This week I'm all about it. I am firmly committed to crocheted afghans. I would love to do a Curve of Pursuit but it's knitting. Something about that just seems wrong.

The final fabric for my sister's wedding quilt arrived. It is one I created on Spoonflower and I'm rather happy with it.

It means I can start sewing and dutifully have. Rather exciting to be so far ahead of schedule for once. Naturally it won't last but, well, there you go.

So apart from all that how are things? It was a very busy week at work last week. 2 days in Manchester was particularly hard not just with the work being challenging but also because of that being Pooch's homeground. Every female voice reminded me painfully of the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law I've lost. Then when I got back Pooch rang me to say my father-in-law had had a heart attack AND had pneumonia. He went into hospital on Monday when I was actually in Manchester and could have done...something...I dunno. Pooch tells me he is improving but it's horrible to be at such a remove. I've written but it's just not the same.

To lighten the mood I am finally going to have a go at making raspberry marshmallow. The first time I was just trying for plain marshmallow and it went fairly horrible. This time I have a sugar thermometer so am slightly more hopeful. You can be sure I'll post the results here.

Catch Up

2011-11-18T18:35:00.000Z

It's been one of those stop and start weeks. I decided I don't like the fairisle hat I knitted a few years ago so I cast on another one but the yarn (King Cole Moods 25% wool) is feeling a bit plasticy. I'm carrying on but may just give it to charity. I'm having the same issue with my afghan. I've got the yarn but have decided I'm not so keen on the feel of it. Then I also started this panel to be the front pocket of the apron I'm making my mater.

But I stopped again because I'm not sure the black of the jug looks right. Mum has a coffee pot just like that (sans face) but it's brown.

I quite enjoyed doing the flowers though.

I woke up at half 5 as per this morning and instead of going running made a wire hair stick pin.

Been wearing it all day and is pretty good. I used all the 1.5mm wire I had on it so have ordered some more. May add beads to the rest. I also made a necklace (all this pre 7am) which I've also been wearing all day but have decided I'm not keen on.

One thing I am keen on is this.

Love socks - free on Ravelry.

Work has been its usual self. The boys and I have been exchanging abusive post-its, the top one of which reads "Your mother rang" and then the second one has the message she supposedly left. I shan't share as my mum might read it. She would not be happy. I had to get a bit heavy with them at once point and so transformed into "Byrne with the Fist of Fury".

It was very effective right up to the moment where Jonesy peered at my fist and said "Does that say furry?". Kind of diminished the effect.

It is when I have most on my mind that I have least to say

2011-11-13T18:28:00.000Z

My mind goes round and round so much I feel like I'm in the centre of my own little tornado.

I felt like if I'd got on this Carousel (outside the Natural History Museum) I might have caught it up and had a moment of relative stillness. I *really* wanted to go on it. But felt I was too old and childless to actually do it.

Big stuff makes little stuff seem rather pointless and not worth talking about.

Hitchin a Ride on the Bandwagon

2011-11-03T14:37:00.000Z

I have joined the Hitchhiker craze.

I duly paid my 2.50 Euros and as with thousands before me have been impressed with the simplicity of the concept. The yarn is one I picked up at the weekend in some unplanned stash enhancement. You see the tiny sequins?

So freaking sparkly! Once I've worn the Hitchhiker a few times and verified non-itchyness I may invest in a jumper's worth. SO FREAKING SPARKLY! There are times when the science and wrestling goes out the window and I turn into full on girly girl. This yarn is one such time. It is King Cole Galaxy and here on Ravelry.

My week off is almost at an end and I haven't done quite as much as I'd hoped to but at the same time I've had a good and stress free time. I now have almost all the fabric I need for my sister's wedding quilt and so the next stage is starting to cut the squares. I've also got some new clothes and a pair of glittery (SPARKLY) flat lace-ups to face the world in. After my last post I frogged...

A cotton cardigan, complete bar half a sleeve
Half a sock
Half a top (up to the underarm point)

I also took a doomed jumper I'd been knitting and did a bit of fiddling (ripped a few rows and then cast off) to turn it into a rather lovely cowl. Having cast it off I can now see that had I continued the jumper would have been big enough for Bigfoot but the circumference goes nicely round the neck without quite reaching my knees so can be looped round up to three times to keep the Byrne neck cosy.

As well as dealing with UFOs I also cast off a project I only started last month - the Pinery Jumper. I had swatched and washed and blocked the swatch (very rare for me) having read something about the behaviour of the yarn but was still very unsure when the jumper measured just 19" from neck to bottom.

Post blocking it is still drying but is now a more suitable 26" long and looking very promising. The yarn is a wool/alpaca blend so it should come in very handy as the nights get snugglier.

One last sparkly photo:

UFOs Hang Round my Neck like Dead Albatross

2011-11-01T17:43:00.000Z

I googled to see what the plural of Albatross is. Opinions are varied. I've gone with the above.

According to Ravelry I have 15 WIPs or UFOs. However, I feel sure the truth is more like 20 since there are some I enthuse over so briefly they never even make it on there. Some have been UFO for years. YEARS! Every time I start something new I feel guilt at not finishing them. This clearly cannot continue. Let the ripping commence.

In other news I made Flash a pillow to commemorate his return from 3 weeks in Zambia for work.

He is partial to dinosaurs and it was he who introduced me to the interrobang. Someone asked me what we had in common. Those of you who know me off screen will know I am not renowned for my tan. This is Flash after 3 weeks in 35+ degrees.

Note the ghostly glow? Together we look like Sheamus's legs. This is Sheamus:

He is actually known on WWE as "The Great White".

This week is a staycation (ghastly word but if it's good enough for The Royals it#s good enough for me). Yesterday was housework and making the pillow. Today was appointments and a rummage around east london. Tomorrow I am going to be concentrating on fabric for my sister's wedding quilt. It's a project I shall have to conduct on Ravelry to keep it away from her beady gaze but one which I am looking forward to. The rest of the week promises a day of museums, a day of baking and possibly one of pampering depending on how the finances are looking. That may end up being a staypamper though. Something I feel certain the Royals have never dabbled in.

Fight for Your Right to Party

2011-10-28T13:25:00.000+01:00

I was very pleased to read this morning that the succession rules relating to the British monarchy have been changed. In my early teens I was quite the little feminist, without having any idea that it meant more than regularly accusing men of being sexist. I am still a Royalist and am looking forward to the Jubilee celebrations next year when I will be waving a flag, much as I was at the Royal Wedding this year.

I have been thinking about right/wrong type things while awaiting a letter from the Court telling me whether my decree nisi was awarded last week. Plus of course (of course) there is the wrestling, because at Vengeance on Sunday (Vengeance is a PPV - pay per view) John Cena revealed his new range of merchandise.

(Cena is the one on the right)

Now John Cena is the highest grossing wrestler in WWE. He's constantly in one of the main stories and his former t-shirt (bright red with logo on front) could clearly be seen on about 40% of the crowd at any WWE event. So to change his branding has roughly the same impact as if Manchester United suddenly decided to wear green - these t-shirts are going to be big business.

WWE does a lot with the Make A Wish Foundation (granting wishes for children fighting life-threatening illnesses) and Cena in particular has granted more wishes than any other US sports celeb for the last X years running. They've also recently joined the "Be A Star" campaign (whose URL looks a lot like it says 'beast reliance') to wipe out school bullying. There has been some criticism of this since most of their storylines have a mean bully in them. BUT - it is the good guy who usually comes out on top - like Cena. Admittedly he does it by bashing the baddy's head with a sledgehammer or throwing him through a table - but he doesn't boast about it afterwards. Of course sometimes the line between good and bad isn't so easy to see - I know you're all thinking of Randy Orton too - but sometimes, whether or not you agree with the individuals involved, you know the right outcome has been achieved. Which is also how I am thinking about the divorce.

I leave you with this thought:

Mr Button

2011-10-25T08:42:00.005+01:00

I came across these at the weekend and had to have some.

Source: johncaswelldesign.bigcartel.com via Alex on Pinterest

You add embroidery thread to give them little eyebrows and moustaches.

So sweet! £5 plus 75p postage from here.

I Love Screen Printing

2011-10-23T09:01:00.000+01:00

I had my final birthday workshop at The Make Lounge yesterday. I did some screen printing as part of my BTEC but the screens were done for me using photo-sensitive emulsion and then I just bodged it. This workshop took you through from start to finish. I went for a knitting symbol first and sketched it out before cutting it out with a scalpel. So chuffed with the result!

Those are my first prints drying. One bag the perfect size for sock projects and a red top I had brought with me. Then I wanted to make something for my Mum as a christmas present. They had lots of examples and the ones using paper cut outs were very effective. I set to making some paper snowflakes - something I haven't done since I was a little girl.

The screens were a bit less than A3 so I printed it twice on the tea towel. I'm so happy with my things!

The others in the class had all sorts of ideas and here are some of their creations:

There were lots of others too.

So this leaves me in a quandry. I am already pretty craft-overloaded. I do not have storage room for any other equipment, but I'm totally in love with screenprinting. I have been lusting after an embroidery sewing machine to do text on clothes and things but with screen printing I could do any number of designs on all sorts of stuff. On paper too.

Pause for running hat update.

I need to make a business case to myself. Afterall - what would I really screen print? Apart from everything. Ne speedy pas Byrne. But it is quite awesome!

Keeping Track

2011-10-22T07:47:00.000+01:00

You guys are awesome. So many lovely comments on my last post and other responses to it. Thanks x

It wasn't until Wednesday night that the anxiety subsided properly. In the meantime I had come across this on Pinterest.

Source: leafcutterdesigns.com via Alex on Pinterest

It is a conceptual knitting pattern from Leafcutter Designs. I am a bit of a sky geek and love cloud watching. It struck me that much the same could be done to keep track of mood as well. This is something that is often advised by therapists since when you are anxious/depressed it's very hard/impossible to remember when you weren't and to stop yourself believing you have always and always will feel like this. Being at the same time a realist (not a great combination with depression) I knew that I was very likely to lose interest in something I was supposed to pick up and knit two lines of each day. This is when I let technology be my guide.

The app I'm using is free and called "TracknShare". You can track anything with any scale. I've chosen a five point scale for both the sky colour and for my mood. If I stick with it for a month I'll look for some suitable yarns.

My love of Pinterest continues unabated. Here are some recent ones.

Source: None via Alex on Pinterest

I have also been doing some knitting. Plugging away on the lovely cables of the Pinery Jumper.

I'm down to the waist (it's top down) and enjoying it.

I leave you with this final thought, also from Pinterest.

Source: None via Alex on Pinterest

Why I do not have a cat

2011-10-16T15:16:00.000+01:00

This is such an uncomfortable post to write. Yesterday started off as a thrilling day - one when my dream of a decade or more was finally becoming reality. I was going to a cat sanctuary to meet a cat who I was then going to bring home with me. I was so excited. I had assembled all the equipment you might need for an indoor cat. It was all set up.

I went off to the sanctuary and the cat they had for me hated me. It was nothing personal - she hated everyone. I spent a few minutes sitting with her and stroking the other cat in with her and then I held my hand out to her so she could have a sniff. She gouged a chunk out of my finger and drew blood. Then whenever I got closer than a metre to her she hissed and growled. Evina, the sanctuary owner, agreed that she probably wasn't quite ready to be rehoused at the moment. So she took me upstairs and I met a beautiful 3 year old called Cookie. We got on very well. It seemed we were good to go.

She came home with me. She was understandably nervous. I left her to explore and did some knitting and every half an hour or so would make some sort of friendly overture. She responded when I did this and then went back to her 'safe' spot. After a couple of hours she was settled enough to have some food and water and then she got straight on my lap. She was very affectionate and it suddenly struck me that I had taken on responsibility for this little cat. She was now completely dependant on me. I was the one who would be taking care of her and ensuring she came to no harm for the next 10+ years. And that absolutely terrified me.

Somehow I had been thinking about this for years and been planning this adoption for months without this fact becoming clear to me. I had been so utterly stupid. How could I have done this? I didn't feel like I was 100% responsible for myself and I'd taken on another 'person' as well? I tried to calm down. I tried rationalising. I called my Mum. She tried to calm me down and she rationalised. She offered to come up, to take the cat to their house til I was calmer but I knew very definitely that this was not something that would have a short term fix.

Evina had been very clear that the sanctuary never lost touch with any of their cats and that if there was a problem I should call day or night. It was about 5pm so I didn't feel too bad calling her and she was lovely. She was so calm and understanding. She said this had happened before and that it was a situation where it was hard to know how you would feel until it actually happened. She came over and took Cookie away while I tried to hold back my tears.

I'm trying to hold on to the fact that that this isn't "it". Flash is out of the country for work til the end of the month but has said some lovely things by email and text, as have Mum and Evina. Flash said that this wasn't the end of my getting a cat - it just meant that "Cookie wasn't Smackdown". Evina said that Cookie had had a lot of cuddles and affection and a new room to explore and would be going back to the friend she had been sharing a room with at the sanctuary and so would be quite happy. Mum said...lots of Mum type stuff. And I have been telling myself that I couldn't have predicted this, that it is a temporary setback, that it doesn't mean I'm ill or getting worse again.

But...the little voice. Not, you know, a voice, in my head, kind of thing, but the almost sub-concious murmurings we all have that undermine our confidence. At least I assume we all have them. Mine is a kind of town crier. The experience leaves me somewhat humiliated - since I have been going on about getting a cat this weekend to anyone who would listen - but with a little more self-knowledge.

To be honest I feel utterly shit. I wanted a cat so much but it's the wrong time for me. I need to be completely confident in myself before I can take on responsibility for anyone else. Still, I wish I could have discovered that a different way. And now I've got to spend the next few days explaining to everyone what happened.

Top 8's 13 Months On

2011-10-13T17:06:00.000+01:00

In September 2010 I did a post on the most popular, most favourited and most queued patterns on Ravelry. Time to do a refresher.

As before, it is the top 8 of each and we will start with....

Most Popular

The place in the previous post is shown in brackets. (-) means it was not listed a year ago. Click here to see the same search for yourself on Ravelry.

1. (1) Ishbel by Ysolda Teague (shawl - £3.75 or as part of a book)
2. (-) Citron by Hilary Smith Callis (shawl - free)
3. (-) Travelling Woman by Liz Abinante (shawl - $6)
4. (8) Turn a Square by Jared Flood (hat - free)
5. (-) Star Cross Slouchy Beret by Natalie Larson (hat - free)
6. (-) Haruni by Emily Ross (shawl - free)
7. (-) Multnomah by Kate Elsa (shawl - free)
8.(-) Baktus Scarf by Strikkelise (scarf - free)

Dropped off the list:

Baby Surprise Jacket by Elizabeth Zimmermann (baby cardigan)
Fetching by Cheryl Niamath (gloves)
February Lady Sweater by Pamela Wynne (cardigan)
Monkey by Cookie A (socks)
Calorimetry by Kathryn Schoendorf (head band)
Clapotis by Kate Gilbert (shawl/scarf)

Any surprises here? Well for a start there are no socks on this list. That shows how the massive sock craze has given over more to shawls and shawlettes. And I should think most knitters have a Clapotis to their name so no suprise that one has passed its peak.

Most Projects

The place in the previous post is shown in brackets. (-) means it was not listed a year ago. Click here to see the same search for yourself on Ravelry.

1. (1) Clapotis by Kate Gilbert (shawl/scarf - free)
2. (2) Fetching by Cheryl Niamath (gloves - free)
3. (3) Baby Surprise Jacket by Elizabeth Zimmermann (baby cardigan - $10)
4. (4) Monkey by Cookie A (socks - listed as $6 but still free on Knitty)
5. (5) Calorimetry by Kathryn Schoendorf (head band - free)
6. (6) February Lady Sweater by Pamela Wynne (cardigan - free)
7. (7) Saartje's Booties by Saartje de Bruijn (baby booties - free)
8. (-) Ishbel by Ysolda Teague (shawl - £3.50)

Dropped off the list = Jaywalker by Grumperina (socks) which was at number 8. It's now at number 12.

Not really surprised that there is only one change here. Clapotis has been knitted (and this is only those that have been logged on Ravelry) 18,640 times and it is going to take a while for anything else to catch up on that.

Most Favourites

The place in the previous post is shown in brackets. (-) means it was not listed a year ago. Click here to see the same search for yourself on Ravelry.

1. (3) Star Crossed Slouchy Beret by Natalie Larson (hat - free)
2. (1) February Lady Sweater by Pamela Wynne (cardigan - free)
3. (2) Saartje's Booties by Saartje de Bruijn (baby booties - free)
4. (3) Owls by Kate Davies (Jumper - £3.95)
5. (5) French Press Felted Slippers by Melynda Bernardi (slippers - $7)
6. (-) Susie's Reading Mitts by Janelle Masters (gloves - free)
7. (7) Shalom Cardigan by Meghan McFarlane (cardigan - free)
8. (8) Lace Ribbon Scarf by Veronik Avery (scarf - free)

Dropped off the list = Travelling Woman by Liz Abinante (shawl - free) gone from 6th to 11th place.

Not much to say about this since it all depends on how much individuals like the versions others have knit of the pattern.

NEW - Most Queued

It seemed to make sense to include this as well. No comparison with last year since this is the first time I've done it. Click here to see the same search for yourself on Ravelry.

1. February Lady Sweater by Pamela Wynne (cardigan - free)
2. Star Crossed Slouchy Beret by Natalie Larson (hat - free)
3. Owls by Kate Davies (Jumper - £3.95)
4. Saartje's Booties by Saartje de Bruijn (baby booties - free)
5. Lace Ribbon Scarf by Veronik Avery (scarf - free)
6. Haruni by Emily Ross (shawl - free)
7. Shalom Cardigan by Meghan McFarlane (cardigan - free)
8. Clapotis by Kate Gilbert (shawl/scarf - free)

I like this list because it shows how people are intending to knit over the coming months. It's also the list with the most free patterns in it. It would be easy to say that this is down to the current economic climate but personally I queue patterns much more impulsively if they're free. Even though there's no commitment when you queue if something is eventually going to cost me I will definitely think twice.

In my last post I commented that there were none of the big names featured. Well since then designers such as Ysolda, Jared Flood and Cookie A have firmly established themselves as those big designers and the influence of people such as Debbie Bliss and Kaffe Fasset has waned as they start to look a little bit dated. Whatever your thoughts about these lists, it's certainly true that Ravelry has become a major driving force. The last year has seen a mainstream article highlighting that Ravelry has done what other social networks dream of doing - met the needs of its target group and stayed as a private 'family' business without commercialising despite now being well over a million users strong.

Hopefully the same will continue to be true in another year's time.

Hospital Club

2011-10-12T21:55:00.001+01:00

If you are near Covent Garden in London hotfoot it to the Hospital Club on Endell Street. The fabulously talented Louise Riley is in residence in the window creating a beautiful textile piece.

The glare makes it hard to see but it is AMAZING and there is more inside.

This is just a detail from one of the inside pieces. My photos can't do the original justice.

What Difference Does a Day Make?

2011-10-08T07:28:00.000+01:00

When I woke up this morning the first thing I thought about was the wedding I am going to today and how the bride will feel when she wakes up this morning.

It's the first wedding I've been to since my own marriage ended. So I've been lying in bed thinking about my own wedding day and I realised it no longer makes me feel unhappy. There is still sadness and regret and a sense of loss - but things have moved on now. It has made me think again though about why people get married and whether I would ever consider it again.

The couple getting married today have already been together more than ten years and are very good together. I think they'll be very happy.

When I got married it was with a view to providing a stable, secure, legally supported environment within which to have a family. People asked me whether it felt different after marriage and I always said that it was very different because when you had an argument or hit a rough patch it didn't really matter because you were tied to each other and even though you might fall out you knew that it was temporary compared with the strong bond of marriage. It made me feel very safe.

Now that I know better, would I ever get married again? I guess the thing is that I don't need to think about it. My momentous decision yesterday which released the DB Aran lasted all of about 10 minutes when I decided to knit my cabled jumper in a different yarn all together. I still don't want the Sylvi but the outcome of that decision has changed.

So it only remains for me to wish Steve and Rebecca the very best of luck. I am sure today will be wonderful and I am honoured to be asked to be a part of it.

Clarifications

From yesterday's post - Robbie Williams' nob is relevant because I was thinking about what I wanted. I do occasionally want thing non-craft related. Although I could still get creative with Robbie Williams.
From three posts ago - mention of the 'lover' was serious. His name is Flash. He is actually rather lovely. I am rapidly thinking of him as a 'boyfriend' and he will be at the wedding today since it was the groom who introduced us. Persephone left a lovely comment on that post which I really appreciated. She's got her hands more than full at the moment so taking the time to share with me meant a lot.

Holy Mother Funkin Momentous Decision

2011-10-07T14:38:00.000+01:00

I had a ticket for Ally Pally today and I'm not there. That is not the momentous decision. My throat infection got the better of me so I'm in my pyjamas eating pic'n'mix - but that's not really relevant.

I was thinking that had I gone I would have had a budget of £50. So now I could spend that online on something knitlike instead. So I started thinking about what I wanted.

I have been meaning to do a cable-heavy cardi for winter for a while and so thought some worsted/aran would be good. But something soft and squishy - not acrylic. I thought of the Debbie Bliss Aran I've had in my stash for several years now but then thought of the Sylvi I'd told myself I was going to make with it. Oh yes, I thought. The Sylvi, I thought.

This is when it happened...

I DO NOT WANT TO KNIT A SYLVI!

Ha! In your face world. Take that. Decision made, yarn released, let the cable pattern hunting commence. WOO HAAA!

Falling into Winter Swap

2011-10-06T13:47:00.000+01:00

Sign-ups are open over on Ravelry.

I do love a good swap. This one is UK only which makes it easier on the postage.

Sign ups are open until Saturday 15th.

One year on

2011-10-02T20:57:00.000+01:00

Let's play a game. Complete the following sentence "A year ago today I was...."

Well a year ago today I'd just left my husband and started on a course that would leave me as I am now - 2 weeks away from a decree nisi.

I wasn't sure how I was going to feel about it all. I had half expected to be really upset. But then...I'm not sure if time heals all but at least the wounds aren't so raw. Things have been going pretty well recently. Work is ok, mentally I'm stable, I'm ok financially, there's a cat in my near future, I've just been on a gorgeous holiday, knitting and making in general is all good, my family is well and happy, and, to be honest, I've spent the weekend in the arms of my new lover*.

It's not that I don't wish things had turned out differently. Had things continued to plan I'd have a baby by now and be sitting in a flat I part owned with my husband. And I really did love Pooch so very much. If he hadn't acted as he did...but then I've thought that a lot during the last twelve months and the only response is to point out that he did.

And so looking forward...the cat blanket nears completion ready for the arrival of Smackdown.

I spent this afternoon is the company of the delightful Romford Knitters with the amazingly talented Nickerjac among others. Not content with mastering knitting, crochet, spinning and double fillet crochet to an exquisite level she has conquered jewellery and brought along the most amazing samples for our feedback. These two came away with me.

I absolutely adore them. Like orbits around a far off sun.

And even with little planets. I can't stop looking at them!

* His name is Flash and he is a juxtaposition on legs.

Marvellous Mallorca

2011-09-25T10:32:00.000+01:00

Guys - it was seriously awesome. Just drink this in.

We were staying at this hotel which I fully intend to go back to within the next few years and wouldn't hesitate to recommend. In fact if anyone wishes to go there for 4+ nights before the end of May next year they gave me a transferable 5% off coupon which can be used on top of their usual offers (7 nights for price of 6 etc). The only thing is you have to hire a car because the town is about an hour's drive from Palma and public transport is a bit intermittent. The town itself was Fornalutx which was all stone passageways and amazing mountains.

Then nearby was Soller which has an old fashioned clackety train to Palma....

and also Port de Soller which was very beautiful.

Yep, sweet holiday. I was there with my mum and dad - so an opportunity for everyone to remark on how much I look like my mater.

She is such a lady. In her sixties and she's demurely covered pretty much wrist to ankle most of the time despitre the heat which was 30-35 most of the time. Then she sashays to the pool in a strapless swimming costume with a figure such as I would like to have now. I did the checking out and and the owner took the opportunity of her absence to rave about Mum's smile and how lovely she is. Not wrong.

The heat was a very dry one and so knitting was perfectly feasible.

I finished these last night and am really pleased with them.

The pattern is Socks of Kindness and is free here on Ravelry. It is one of those splendid ones which look complicated and are absolutely not. Very intuitive. If you can count to six and k2tog this is for you. Worked well on magic loop too. Since then I have been crocheting hexagons for Smackdown's blanket.

Really awful photo but the yarn is James C Brett Rio which while lovely is 70% acrylic so tends to look a tad shiny. Machine washable though so perfect for a cat blanket. The colour changes are fun too.

The hexagons are a bit of a recurring theme at the moment.

The quilt is now de-papered (at last - sheesh - Sarah had commented on this post that she takes them out as she goes along. Amen to that sister) and has had circles drawn on it in water-erasable pen to help with the actual quilting part. I may start all that later today.

Going on a Late Summer Holiday

2011-09-12T20:07:00.002+01:00

After much effort I have shortlisted three sock patterns for holiday and wound two skeins into balls.

The weather is slightly different to the current gales that seem to be buffeting my personal part of London.

So I will be back soon with tales from across the waters!

Going on a Late Summer Holiday

2011-09-12T20:07:00.000+01:00

After much effort I have shortlisted three sock patterns for holiday and wound two skeins into balls.

The weather is slightly different to the current gales that seem to be buffeting my personal part of London.

So I will be back soon with tales from across the waters.

Bit of everything

2011-09-11T18:49:00.000+01:00

I have baked.

I have glued.

I have sewn.

And I have put things in jars and then put a pin cushion on top plus some ribbon.

Been pretty active really.

I also went to an Elderly Lady Tea Party yesterday. I was advised it would be drinking gin from teacups but I'm more of a sherry woman myself. I haven't got a picture of what I was wearing but I did snap these three on the sofa.

Kind of gives you the idea. I freaking *adore* fancy dress parties but never seem to get invited to them so this was awesome.

Awesome Boobs

2011-09-05T18:00:00.000+01:00

I let my chest speak for itself.

But seriously, the bag. Yippeee!

Tape handle duly added.

It was a bit of a bodge but has worked out pretty well. I've been using it the last two days and am very happy with it.

I'll definitely be making more for xmas presents.

The Cranford KAL continues very well. I am now a whole Cranford in.

Really hard to get the colours to look right.

I have a massage booked tonight. I think I've waxed lyrical about them before but themassagerooms.com come to your house and let you choose duration, type and areas of focus then, in an unusual twist, give you a menu of young women to choose from. I have duly chosen and a blond slovenian will be here shortly. All sounds horribly sordid while being blissfully wonderful. Scented candles ho!

Oh ok, just one more picture of the bag then....

Nom.

Run Byrne Run

2011-09-03T16:05:00.000+01:00

Something really weird happened this morning. This is an illustration of what happened.

See? Weird. Weeks ago I bought some trainers. A week or so after that I downloaded the free NHS "Couch to 5k" podcast. Then many weeks went past. Then this morning I woke up shortly after 6 and thought "Right, time to go running." I'm worried it might be dementia. Or the menopause or something. Anyway, I made it through day 1 week 1 and no I didn't feel better afterwards. I felt sweaty. And no that's not the same thing.

Having got the insanity out of my system I went off to Kew to visit Tikki Patchwork.

Now there's a lovely shop and easy walking distance from the tube station. Not big but with every space used well to display lovely fabrics and accoutrements. You see I am planning another quilt. NOT a handsewn one or paper-pieced. Something with rectangles which are machine sewn and rotary cut. The Make Lounge has some fabrics but this place was a little Aladdin's cave with a couple of hundred 100% cottons to choose from. On this occasion I was only there to look but when have I ever only window shopped? My haul was modest.

The tape measure ribbon/cotton tape is for the handle of the metal frame bag I made a few weeks ago. It's going to be ideal so I shall put that together this weekend.

I made my cat-to-be a toy this week. I've been meaning to try one of these for ages and thought it might work as a christmas tree decoration with the right fabric. So I got a load of small scraps for a try-out and here you are.

I am sure the cat will tear it apart in about 30 seconds but then they'll probably enjoy it so I don't mind. And it would work on a tree except the pentagons need to be smaller. So now we know.

Lastly the Cranford-a-long has been going well. I have just divided for the thumb on my first one - although this is a shot from earlier.

The colours are very hard to photograph but it is neither so garish or gothic as it looks. Plus it is certainly knitting up quickly. I've made a couple of mods which I'll write up on Rav.

Cranford-A-Long Day 1

2011-09-01T08:00:00.001+01:00

A while ago I donated a blogpost to p/hop asking "What Mittens Would the A-Team Wear?". At the time I suggested Cranfords for Face. Now all these months later I am finally knitting a pair! But not for him - oh no. These babies are for me.

It's not too late to join the knit-a-long. There is a thread on Ravelry for all those taking part. And you can get the pattern from the p/hop site in return for a heart-hugging donation.

Making a Mess Monday

2011-08-29T19:23:00.000+01:00

I have been making this quilt since 22nd March 2010. It's been a labour of not exactly love - more grim determination. I have now assembled all the bits and am ready to move to the quilting stage. EXCEPT...all the paper pieces need to be untacked and taken out.

There are literally thousands. This is not a quick job.

I remember talking to someone about the Kaffe Fassett knitting exhibition that had been on in the V&A years ago. They had talked about wanting to be able to see the inside of the intarsia and fairisle garments to see how the 'wrong side' had been handled. Then there is Kate who has a unique turn of phrase and talks about the "naughty" or "private" side (technical term) of her knitting. Quilts of course have exactly the same thing.

At the Festival of Quilts I had to physically restrain my mater from lifting up the quilt edges to look at the backs, despite the "DO NOT TOUCH" signs in every language and all handmade hanging from every available post.

It's natural to want to see what people have done where they weren't expecting it to show. Possibly this is why people (in general, not me) like reality shows.

So having to remove each of these paper hexagons individually, every one having been hand sewn by myself in the first place, has given me quite a lot of time to contemplate the naughty side.

Still another couple of hundred to go....things may get naughtier.

STOP PRESS

2011-08-26T09:05:00.001+01:00

I have the landlord's permission to get a cat.

Source: None via Alex on Pinterest

I have to pay extra deposit but I had expected that.

Source: lickystickypickyme.tumblr.com via Alex on Pinterest

I am so excited.

Source: flickr.com via Alex on Pinterest

It won't be til after I get back holiday but then....

Source: flickr.com via Alex on Pinterest

Countdown to kitty....

Walking in the Rain

2011-08-25T21:05:00.000+01:00

It was raining on Tuesday night so I decided to do a Gene Kelly and walk down to the river and get the boat home. It would have taken about half an hour to reach the pier if I had gone direct but I meandered and took twice as long. And I took photos. But only on my phone, so don't judge the quality.

It always amazes me the variety of architecture, textures, atmospheres you can find so close together in London.

Making Monday

2011-08-22T09:00:00.001+01:00

A little bit of making...

I've been meaning to make machine embroidered bookmarks since I did a Make Lounge workshop on it last year. Or was it this year? Doesn't really matter. I woke up early yesterday and cut these out before I left. The afternoon saw them finished.

I tried stitching patterns and following the outline of the fabric design, but ended up liking the writing best. The others were still quite sweet though.

I used some of the liberty fabrics PurlPower gave me in a swap. The one above is one of them. So pretty! I need to keep some of the others hidden for christmas. But then one more won't hurt.

I do like machine embroidery. Like a lot of things I had always meant to try it but lacked the courage/knowledge to just go for it. The worry was that I'd break my sewing machine by doing it wrong. That's why the workshop was so useful - as with the metal purse frame one. It showed me how and now I'm not worried. It's really very easy, your machine won't break and you just need the right foot for your machine. It's going to be so handy for when I start quilting my patchwork quilt - if I ever finish it that is.

Meandering

2011-08-21T19:06:00.000+01:00

I love living by the Thames.

Not right by it of course. One is not a gabillionaire. But within 2 mins walk. The sunset yesterday was really lovely - eighties blues and yellows faded to blues and greys such as The Guggenheim is made of.

This morning I went to a really awful boot fair in Rotherhithe and on the way back meandered along a bit of the Thames Path I had not been on before. It was the bit after the Hilton on the south side as you make your way towards the City. There was a lovely pebbly beach along most of it.

There were juvenile seagulls poking around which blended into the pebbles beautifully. It was very peaceful but also made me feel sad - quite a few couples walking with prams. If I hadn't left Pooch and we'd carried on trying for a baby it would probably have been born by now. Left me feeling a bit like this guy.

Bleh.

I came home, had a nap, and got a jump on tomorrow's Making Monday aka YarnYard's blog thing. I can't really do 'making mondays' since I have to do 'working mondays' so I think it's ok to cheat. Teaser:

Can you tell what it is yet?

Cranford-A-Long

2011-08-20T15:53:00.000+01:00

I am hosting a Cranford Mitt-a-long on Ravelry. Hoorah! The Cranford Mitts were one of the first p/hop patterns and have now been knitted almost 500 times.

The more the merrier so come along to Ravelry and join in!

Craft Catch Up

2011-08-17T18:06:00.000+01:00

Iza bin busy.

Pooch was very much your Star Wars aficionado. He had an impressive knowledge of the planets, species, languages, abilities and so on of the characters. Therefore when I left him one of the things I told myself was that never again would I watch any of the films or use any Star Wars references. Oh how naive was I? It is impossible to go for more than a few days without someone quoting from it somehow (just today CM Punk - yeah you know who I mean - said he would only respond to tweets that were star wars links and within seconds had 100's of "it's a trap" replies) and so I have given in and just now, when thinking of how to start this entry, found myself thinking in a Jar Jar Binks voice. The shame.

But I have been busy so enough beating myself over the head with an R2D2 plushy. I actually made some of this stuff quite a while ago but other stuff like, oh yeah, getting divorced, interrupted me from posting it.

I made a series of these back in july - because who doesn't make xmas decos in a heatwave? I got the idea from Pinterest and had a rummage in the bargain bin of a second-hand place on Charing Cross Road. Cue a copy of Adam Bede with half a cover that no one was ever going to love again.

Normally nothing would persuade me to take scissors to book but as it was already beyond repair...and they do look rather sweet. Tutorial here.

When I did my Make Lounge workshop I bought a lampshade kit in the shop. You can do a workshop on how to make them which I assume is a bit more complicated than "open kit, assemble" but I figured the kit was enough for me and at Festival of Quilts I found the perfect fabric.

Here it is in detail:

I am thinking of getting some more and making a skirt. Of course that would involve me remembering which stand it was from. Er....

While coughing it out on the sofa the last few days I've managed to start and finish a christmas present which I can't blog, and also tried out the Kanzashi maker I got at the weekend. Let me say immediately that in no way does this gadget replace Sister Diane's book, which is awesome. But it does make the whole thing amazingly simple if you just want to produce one size, one shape petals out of thin cotton.

I made the two murky green ones on the right of the picture in about 40 mins including cutting out the fabric. I am going to add buttons to the centres and then glue them back to back with a loop of ribbon in between as a xmas deco (murky green fabric has gold holly pattern printed on it).

Keeping with the 'glue' theme I have had the fabric cut out and half assembled for another metal frame bag (such as I made at Make Lounge) since the day after the workshop. Thing is, it was a frame I had had for ages and been meaning to try and it wasn't the same shape/size as the ones I had patterns for and so...well...all I'll say is it's best not to use a fabric with a horizontal stripe on a first solo attempt.

Tad wonky. Not to be put off though this frame was a doubler and so I now have a purse within a bag resting on my dinky dining table as the glue dries.

Well what other lining fabric was I going to have used? Just need to decide on the handle/strap.

I find being ill very frustrating as it means I suddenly have the time to do extra crafting but the inclination and necessary brain power are inevitably missing. I've ended up working to near completion on my ripple blanket, which now resembles a toxic rainbow double bed-spread.

It is now just 4 rows and a tidy-up away from being finished. Having had a temperature though it wasn't great having the blanket on my lap as I hooked so I looked for a knit project to get on with. Alas - brain could not come to any conclusion and it is only now as I have started to feel slightly more human that I have decided on the fall-away cardigan although I am no nearer deciding whether to go for dark brown alpaca from a past SkipNorth swap or purple wool from a distant trip to France.

Being ill and living alone without even a cat called Smackdown is a recipe for loneliness. The only person I spoke to yesterday was the plumber who called in to give a quote for a new shower (the previous one having exploded the week after the washing machine flooded the kitchen but the week before the hoover caught fire). We had met once before when he isolated the exploding shower so I could turn the water back on.

"Hello" he said.

"Hello" I said.

"I can't kiss you because I've got a cold" he explained.

"Fair enough" I replied.

Oooo, it's just started raining. Got to go....

Almost Quilted Out

2011-08-15T10:32:00.000+01:00

If you sew then Festival of Quilts ought to be on your 'must see' list each year. This was my third visit (last year is here on this blog) and I think it was bigger than ever, regardless of the recession.

The Quilts were once again extraordinary and I took a tonne of photos, all of which are on Flickr here. The ones in this post are just highlights. As usual there were categories and winners and commendations in each category. What always surprises me is the ones that don't win an award. This for example.

It's about double bedsized and made entirely from hexagons in black and white novelty fabrics.

And that didn't win an award? Amazing. There were hundreds of quilts and hundreds of stands and I was with Mater which made it all the better as I always prefer having someone to share things with. She is not keen on photos so here is a rare reverse shot.

You can see where I get the hair from although she is only about 5'2". As Mum remarked several times, it was very busy and you couldn't help bumping in to people but everyone was just so polite. There was a real ambience in the hall at the NEC because everyone was pleased to be there and knew that they shared their interest with everyone else. Bumping elbows with someone you apologise only for the other woman to say "Don't worry - wonderful isn't it?" with a huge grin on her face.

Union Jacks proliferated but it was a number of the small quilts - 12"x12", circles from quilting groups around the world, or the actual 'miniature quilts' section which really caught my eye.

The stripes in this one are each about 2mm across. The whole thing was about 14" square.

I came away with some lovely fabrics....

Plus some goodies. The Kanzashi tool is one I have seen Sister Diane use and I thought I'd have a play.

Then lastly I brought home this little guy who is less than 2cm tall.

Got to love a chinese china chicken.

Good blog comments are hard to come by

2011-08-14T10:43:00.001+01:00

I got some humdingers to my last post though. I therefore declare the first round of Lixie Hug Awards open.

Virtual hugs are going to...

Doodles
Amy
Sal
Purlpower
Ynot
Melissa

You've all taken the time to comment and it really has helped. Thanks xx

I am angry

2011-08-11T18:41:00.000+01:00

I have been feeling angry since I wrote the divorce statement last week.

It's not fading away. If anything I am more angry now.

I am aware that it also has something to do with PMT but I do feel pretty ill used at the moment.

Writing the statement made it obvious how many chances there had been for it to be ok. I gave Pooch a second chance and he cocked up again. I said if he gave up drinking we could try again but he wouldn't consider it. Then I think about what we had planned and even though it never existed I feel like I've lost that too. The flat we had just saved enough deposit for, the cat that comes with owning your own place and not being dependant on the whims of a landlord. The shared living expenses meaning I had so much more disposable income, the child we had already started trying for. The hugs, the shared experiences, the friendship. All gone.

I really hate dating. I hate the meat market aspect of it. But then I also hate being single. I want someone to share things with. I don't find dating exciting or liberating. I find it tedious and boring. So this also makes me feel angry.

The final thing making me angry is that I am 99% sure that living your life believing in pay-it-forward is bollocks. I give up my seat on the tube, I hold doors open, I say 'hello', I unjam the printer, I am willing to talk things through and listen, I do favours, I share food, I give to charity, I offer help, I act as intermediary and I even lend money when asked to. I do all this without asking for anything in return because I have up until now believed that it encourages others to be the same with other people.

All it does is lead to me being treated like I'm stupid or soft or don't matter. People don't say thank you because they assume I will help them. "Alex will know" becomes a motto at work while others snigger behind my back.

The thing that worries me about this anger is that I am not sure how to express it. I feel that I can't because it's not socially acceptable but at the same time suppressing feelings is a really great way to send myself cuckoo again.

I wish there were a real Fight Club.

I Owe Crazy Aunt Purl an Apology

2011-08-06T07:44:00.001+01:00

When I first started blogging one of my favourites was Crazy Aunt Purl.

She is still utterly awesome and I just read her recent post on online dating and point four in particular:

4. It's actually much more fun to go shopping at Amazon or Zappos or Etsy because you find something you like, you give it your address and it shows up and doesn't try to murder you or tell you you're fat. No wonder online shopping feels so good. It's practically therapeutic.

She got divorced after her husband said he needed to 'find himself'. She did a lot of drinking during it all. She beats me though by having had three cats (now sadly just two) to help her through.

At the time I thought she was occasionally being a bit self-indulgant with some of her from-the-heart posts. I now wish to withdraw all such thoughts unreservedly.

On Thursday night I finally wrote the statement for the divorce papers. They are now in the post in duplicate with the marriage certificate and cheque for £340 for the court fees - which is more than it cost to get married in the first place. While writing the statement I was, I estimate, the third most upset I have ever been in my life (while sane). It was only just less upsetting than realising the marriage had ended in the first place. For about two hours I bawled as only a toddler denied sweets or a dumped teenager usually does. By the time I had stopped I looked like Shrek but on the plus side and half a bottle of Tia Maria later I didn't care anymore. Yesterday was spent wincing at daylight, noise and life in general until about 4pm when the pain lifted and I was whole again.

So that's done. I don't kid myself that those were the last tears but it will apparently take about 3 months to get a court date so I have a slight reprieve til then.

It seems like a good time to take stock so I am going to have a bit of a tidy up at the flat and also get the stash out. You always read stats about how we only wear a small percentage of our clothes because we forget we own the others because they are not stored properly. (At least, I seem to read that kind of thing quite often - it might just be me.) I strongly believe it is the same with stash. Part of the reason for reckless stash acquisition is not realising what you have and not thinking sensibly about how you will use it. For instance, I have enough sock yarn for about 50 pairs.

I *think* that might be enough.

(Updated 9th Sept) Lixie's Adventures with Gentlemen Chapter 4 in which Lixie uses swear words

2011-07-30T13:08:00.003+01:00

(Update at end of post)

I am a shit magnet.

Let me explain....the most recent adventures have been someone I met through someone else, not through the godawful matchaffinity. We were emailing back and forth for two weeks and then went on a first date on Thursday.

Two hours of chat and a bit of kissing. Nice.

Emails restart the following day. Mid afternoon he suggests meeting up that evening as well. I had an evening of pinboard activity planned (actually pinboard, not pinterest) but I decided to forego it and meet him again.

Pimms at the Tate Modern Bar where we both decided there was too much traffic for snogging and so went to sit on the grass outside.

THREE HOURS later he walks me to the tube with me sporting the latest in teenage accessories.

As we're walking I'm saying that one of the reasons I hate dating is because you have to have these conversations about exclusivity. "Is that a second date conversation?" he asks. Fortunately undeterred I continue at which point he says (and to be fair I may be paraphrasing) "Actually I'm kind of already seeing someone but it's ok because it's waning. I didn't tell you because I wanted to see what you were like before I did anything else."

Before concluding that the man is at best amazingly naive and at worst a cheating weasel, let's review the evidence.

I had already asked him in an email whether he was a cheating weasel (exact words used) because I hold views on such things.
We had been emailing for two weeks with the stated intention of eventually going on a date, during which time he was presumably in an un-waning relationship with this other woman.
I had been 100% upfront about both the divorce and the depression.
During early emails we had discussed our approaches to relationships and I had described mine as 'open and honest'.
He didn't volunteer this information to me until I asked him directly, and initially tried to avoid the question.
He has a "try before you buy" philosophy.
He's given me a fucking glow-in-the-dark hicky.

Conclusion?

9th September Update
Since the episode related above happened I have ended up getting to know the man involved rather better. We've actually become pretty good friends. I have therefore had a chance to revise the impression I had of him and would like to issue the following correction:

He did not set out to decieve.
He is not a try-before-you-buy kinda guy.
He is therefore possibly not anymore weasel-like than the rest.

I suppose we've all met people who seemed really nice at first only to turn out to be utter bastards. This is a rare case of the opposite being true. It almost makes me think there is some point going back to dating. Almost.
9th September Update 2

Ok ok geez. And I gave him 2 hickeys. BUT they were barely discernable.

Crafty Shortlist

2011-07-24T13:56:00.000+01:00

I'm in a bit of a home building phase. It's certainly not for any broody reason since I am the most single of the singles, but more to make the flat feel properly like home. The wail of renters everywhere - there's not much I can do to alter the colours, layout, shelving etc but there are little things.

I've always liked mobiles and have been thinking of a cloud one for a while.

Source: etsy.com via Alex on Pinterest

I'd also like to add some hot air balloons.

Source: etsy.com via Alex on Pinterest

I've also been thinking about bunting or something like that. I made some for people at xmas.

But I've been thinking about some of this kind of one instead. Not really sure.

Source: ontobaby.com via Alex on Pinterest

Then maybe some things on the windows.

Source: cfabbridesigns.com via Alex on Pinterest

Hearts are a bit twee though. Maybe hot air balloons? Or clouds. On a bit of a cloud bender at the moment.

My hexagon patchwork duvet top nears completion so that will brighten up the bedroom, along with my newly painted fire engine red bedside cabinet. If I had my own place I'd love it to be something like this:

Source: sweethomestyle.tumblr.com via Alex on Pinterest

Lots of white but with colourful highlights. With one wall covered in corkboards...

Source: jordanferney.blogspot.com via Alex on Pinterest

Maybe one corkboard would be feasible even now....excuse me, must look at how much they are....

Friends are Awesome

2011-07-21T09:00:00.030+01:00

I met up with two very different friends yesterday. One at lunch and one after work. In fact they couldn't really be more different, but they are both awesome, in equally different ways. With friendships you get out what you put in. Awesome.

In other news...

While friends are awesome, so are vintage up-ear clip-on earrings. This is my second pair. The etsy seller actually emailed me when she got them in her shop to tell me because she knew how much I loved my first pair. I was wearing the first pair today. Typical office wear, obviously.

Slightly less awesome are awesome hairslides you decorate yourself that then break after your first use.

It might be salvageable for something I guess.

Still fairly awesome is the patchwork quilt I started around Easter 2010 when I was still happily married, living a life of relative financial ease and thinking about babies.

It's not exactly progressing quickly but I'll damn well love it when I'm done.

And lastly, awesome are the larger patchwork pieces I am making for my lampshade.

All those different polka dots! Makes me so happy.

Raising the Knit Signal

2011-07-20T19:24:00.001+01:00

Raising the Knit Signal

The link above is to a post on the P/hop website about the crisis in Somalia. I donated today.

The Knit Signal was first raised by YarnHarlot when the Haiti earthquake happened. Please think about your yarn budget for this month and whether you really need any more wool when there are so many people dying.

Staccato Creativity

2011-07-17T13:13:00.000+01:00

There have been lots of fits and starts this weekend. Mostly prompted by utter, utter boredom, bit of misery and a lot of pinterest. For instance THIS is my Pinterest "Crafty Inspiration" pinboard. Take this one in particular.

Source: corrieberrypie.blogspot.com via Alex on Pinterest

That pin resulted in this.

Or this one:

Source: duffylondon.com via Alex on Pinterest

...which has resulted in these two.

(What other fabric would I make it from?)

Or take this:

This is a ring I made after coming across this workshop for £42. I looked at the pictures for a minute, reflected that the materials would only cost pennies and I had them all anyway so it didn't matter if I screwed up, and made one in a kind of hell-and-high-water type way. The only thing wrong with it is the ring bit.

Not very comfortable. I shall cut out wrapping the wire around the whole ring next time.

And then there is this:

I'm still going round and round on it. And probably will be until my next divorce.

Desperate times call for desperate measure, so I have started watching All the Wrestlemanias, of which there are 27. I watched the first one ever last night and it was fairly amazing in a time warp kind of way. It was 1985, men were men and women were wearing swimming costumes rather than the bikini things they wrestle in now. The crowd wasn't even separated from the ring by a barrier - just by maybe 3 feet of solid concrete floor. The enormous mic had to be lowered into the ring from the ceiling and the announcer had hair. All quite amazing. Wrestlemania 2 is cued up and ready to go so I leave you with this thought -

Nope, it's gone.

Busy week

2011-07-15T22:12:00.001+01:00

It's been quite a week.

On Tuesday I did a Metal Snap Frame Purse workshop at the Make Lounge - courtesy of my birthday vouchers. "Choose two fabrics" she said. I honestly did look at all of them before going for the polka dots. Judge for yourself how successful it was.

It's my third workshop there and it was again very good. I've had a selection of frames for literally years and this has given me the confidence to use them. I've already cut out the fabric for my first and will stitch it over the weekend.

Wednesday was a double whammy - drinks with Pooch followed by 'Bug' at the BFI which Jonesy got me a freebie for. The drinks were very strong and the talk was very emotional and so by the time I got to the BFI I was drunker than I've been for quite a while. I'd told Jonesy to get the drinks in and as I walked in he held out a pint of beer. A Pint Of Beer. For me. A lady. I suspect I was 17 the last time I drank a pint. I was probably sick (after all, I was 17). It turns out Jonesy was getting free drinks because he was DJing and the bar staff had just brought him a new supply. So there I am, drinking a pint, standing behind the decks at the bar at the BFI, chatting to the DJ.

This may have been the coolest moment of my life.

Jonesy at one point mockingly introduced me to his friend as a wrestling fan. For the first 5 minutes that he and I talked about wrestling I thought maybe Jonesy had dredged up eveything I'd ever told him about WWE and briefed him, but then I came to realise that no, I was actually talking to a genuine fellow fan. Jonesy had had no idea and was appalled.

In your face, Jones. The evening ended with the bar staff bringing us shots of what I think may have been tequila.

While my hangover had warn off by thursday lunchtime the effects of my talk with Pooch were escalating. It's no good though. I wish it wasn't so but it is. It all left me extremely upset and so thursday night was me on the sofa with an almost perceptible cartoon thunder cloud over my head pouring with rain and occasionally stabbing me with lightening bolts. All that crying meant I woke up very early today with a splitting headache, the remnants of which are still with me.

So yes.

What on earth can the weekend bring?

Is it just me, or does this look like the kind of weird cloud that precedes the apocalypse?

A rip in the space/time continuum maybe.

My favourite saying

2011-07-11T22:26:00.001+01:00

Stitched this over the weekend.

So true.

Call me "Killer".

2011-07-10T09:54:00.000+01:00

"Killer" is one of the nicknames I have tried to get people to use for me. As I've mentioned before, I am un-nicknamable.

I saw this quote on Pinterest months ago and have had it in my mind ever since. My Chief Executive recently revealed that if he is listening to someone for more than about 30 secs he stops listening and starts thinking about facebook. The cross-stitch is my version of that.

This completes my picture wall.

Or at least completes it for now.

Sometimes I am convinced that this phase of my life must be a test

2011-07-09T08:34:00.001+01:00

In the last seven days:

Sunday: Washing Machine broke and flooded kitchen mid cycle
Monday: 33rd birthday
Wednesday: Launch of biggest project I've ever worked on
Thursday: Break-up with Humphrey
Saturday: Shower explodes and forces me to turn off mains water completely. Plus hangover.

I am not running around with my knickers on my head doing a chicken impression so I think I've probably passed.

The break-up was something I brought about although unwillingly. It was one of those ones where there's nothing incompatible, other than the level of commitment each is looking for/able to give at the time. We could have continued quite happily on a casual basis but I want someone to share life with, not just evenings, so it had to end. I'm pretty glum though because he was really lovely and I think it could have been great had it been right for both of us. Plus I could have camped at his this weekend and used his washing machine and working water supply.

Source: sadanduseless.com via rita on Pinterest

Meanwhile I've barely touched any knitting. Feel I have lost a bit of mojo there. Instead I have been cracking on with the hexagon patchwork quilt top. I finally started sewing the little buggers together by machine, even though they are paper pieced. It was all taking too long and I could do with a new duvet cover so I decided to hurry it up. I'm using a very small zigzag in coordinating thread so in fact you can't see any difference until you look up close. I'm just making the last ones ready to be incorporated.

It's still going to take a while but it'll be pretty amazing when it's done.

Lastly, this may explain the hangover.

My usual Mule but with raspberries thrown in for no discernible reason other than "there were some in the fridge". It's all good. I've been out and bought 5 litres of bottled water. Should last me til lunch.

PS: Sometimes things happen to remind us that life does not revolve around ourselves. The man I talked about in my previous post was declared clinically dead on Thursday and, with his family gathered around him, his life support was turned off. He had worked at one of the organisations three floors above ours for 27 years.

"Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life."

2011-07-05T19:35:00.000+01:00

The title of this post is a quotation by Bertolt Brecht.

The reason for it is because I had a half day today and as I was leaving I was pushed out of the way by a man running through the entrance to the building. One of the receptionists was outside and I jokingly made a kind of "Blimey, what was that all about?" comment. It turns out he was fetching equipment for the paramedic who was trying to restart the heart of a man lying on the floor in the alcove behind reception. I don't know his name but I have seen him helping out on reception during lunch hours or coming out of meeting rooms. We smile and say hello. I also don't know whether he made it. Resuscitation should never be a spectator sport so having ascertained there was nothing I could do I thought it best to clear out. From a physics point of view, it's all gone a bit Schroedinger.

I saw the guy yesterday and we said hello, and he looked absolutely fine. I'd guess he is about 55. It's just got me thinking once again about the way life can just end in the time it takes to snap your fingers. It also made me think a bit more seriously about the 'bucket list' concept too.

Coincidentally, Humphrey and I discussed this recently. Humphrey is not keen on me sharing personal stuff about our relationship on the blog but I don't think he'll mind me saying that number one on his list is to train 3 kittens to form a pyramid. Better than this one too.

The topic came up because I had just seen the Guinness Book of Records certified largest model of an Ecoli. I claimed I could now tick this off my list of things-to-do-before-I-die. My other items are

Visit Machu Picchu
Punch someone in the face
Have a black eye
Go to Wrestlemania

Obviously this is all quite light hearted (but seriously, I want to punch someone in the face so don't mess with me) (not really) (really) but any of us could go at any time. Pop. Gone. Or something life changing could happen. I'm reading Oliver Sacks's "In the Mind's Eye" which is like his previous "Man Who Mistook his Wife for a Hat" and others but focuses on visual phenomena. For instance, people wake up having had a stroke and can no longer read. They can see individual letters but can't put words together.

A few weeks ago a friend's four year old grand-daughter happened to remark she couldn't see out of one eye and the next day was diagnosed with infant glaucoma and her Mum was told she's already lost 85% of sight in one eye. One conversation and everything changes.

It has all got me thinking.

I hope that guy's all right.

Seen about town

2011-07-04T06:53:00.000+01:00

I did a little blog surfing last night and would have posted these then except the washing machine then broke and flooded the kitchen. Not quite the relaxing evening I was hoping for but hey, life sucks sometimes.

So on this, the 33rd aniversary of my mighty birth, I bring you a blog round up...

We start with another celebration - Erqsome is married!

Doesn't she look beautiful? Her blog is always interesting to read and you can find it here.

From one lady to another - Colour Me Katie is a photographer who also takes part on these improv stunts. The previous videos are on youtube and I thoroughly recommend them.

You can see her blog and the current improv video here.

Continuing with the theme of outrageous sightings - Sister Diane has a real eye for vintage crafts. The final picture in this post has to be seen to be believed.

Her blog is here.

Another thing that amazes the eye are these carved gourds. I would *love* one of these.

The Dudecraft blog focuses on contemporary craft and always has something amazing to look at.

Another amazing thing to look at is this sewn puzzle ball.

I love Thimble's blog. She does book reviews, recipes, tutorial round ups and more, all accompanied by lovely photos. She says this ball is easy to make?! I dunno.

And so to finish on the surreal. Fabric printed with a cute squirrel kicking a cute dog in the face.

Dress a Day loves vintage fabric and vintage dress patterns even more than your average and her imagined conversations between pattern models are always delightful. She links to an Etsy shop with a sale category of "Most Frightening Fabric". Brilliant.

Only sleeping

2011-07-03T17:25:00.000+01:00

I do not know how people with those high pressure jobs do it. Last week I had to do hours such as 8-6, 8-7, even 8am-9pm on friday. It has left me feeling like a used tissue. Combine it with the waking up early (which oh yes I'm still doing) and by the end of the week I was practically dragging my knuckles along the floor as I shuffled from one thing to another. It is all because my mahoosive IT project is due to launch next week. I think I've cracked it now. I really hope so because I do not want another week last that one. I'm a 9-5 girl as that is the only way I can get my knitting fitted in. Being so tired I felt unable to pick up most projects, although I did decide I could manage sewing on buttons.

I love buttons. I got the bag on ebay and it arrived with a couple of mud patches on it with the mud crumbling off. I contacted the seller to be told he had described it as 'used' so what did I expect? Used is one thing, but 'soiled'? It all came out in the wash though.

It's been a bad week to be stuck in the office. This is the Thames last weekend but gives you an indication of what it's been like.

Once again I was reminded of lovely Egypt.

As a divorcee-to-be I will naturally be going on holiday with my parents in September and am wondering where to go. Egypt is probably a bit outside our budget. Can anyone suggest anywhere that will be warm in september, not too crowded, historically interesting, beautiful, near water and is cheap? There - not too hard is it? I wondered about some bit of Croatia or somewhere around there. Um....

I went to the amazing second hand furniture shop Emmaus in Lewisham last weekend. They describe it as their Greenwich shop but that is rather optimistic. Regardless of where it is, it is awesome. The organisation is a bit like freecycle except they come and pick up your unwanted furniture and junk for free and sell it on at knockdown prices to people who want it. The money then goes to rehabilitating homeless people. It really is winwin for someone without a car who just needs to get rid of lots of stuff - like when I moved out of the old marital home. I really really wanted to get the beautiful 30s dressing table with mirrors and drawers and delicate carving which was all of about £40 but sadly I only had need of a bedside cabinet, which I got for £8. The reason for mentioning this though, apart from bigging up Emmaus, is that 3 doors down is the Knitshop.co.uk shop! I had no idea. This is what I came away with:

I have no idea what I'll do with it - which is very bad and anti my stash policy but it was too fun not to get. I assumed from the outside of the shop and the window display that they were either brand new or it was a temp site. Turns out they'd been there 2 years! Seems a real shame since I wasn't even sure it was open until I actually saw someone else come out and it has lovely big windows which could look great with a nice display. But I guess the low key thing must work for them so fair enough.

Tomorrow is the Byrne Birthday and I have a Squidy Date Cake in progress to take to work. The recipe really is hard to beat and very easy. I have high hopes of not burning it to buggery like with the cinnamon muffins last week. I've added actual cherries instead of jam. I stewed them with some sugar first to break them down so am looking forward to any difference it might make.

Luchador Love

2011-06-27T21:18:00.000+01:00

Humphrey played a blinder this weekend. He produced tickets to watch the Luchadors (mexican wrestling) at the Roundhouse in Camden. I didn't want any of you to feel left out:

It was quite different to WWE but I still managed to shout "hit him" quite a bit and generally boo and cheer a lot.

It was compared by a man in a silver boiler suit. Want.

The highlight for me was Cassandro - a genre of wrestler not seen in WWE which I feel is a great shame. He strutted to the stage wearing a high cut wrestling outfit, slashed to the navel, with full make up and hair so bouffant and glittery as to be worthy of a spotlight even without the attached man.

He played to the crowd obviously but was actually quite good.

This was an early birthday present for me and even more impressive as Humphrey had not had any exposure to wrestling before meeting me. He made it through without complaint and with mucho verve which was all to his credit as I do know how freaking weird I am to love this stuff so much. Time for the big reveal? Here he is...

(He's the one on the right).

In life's other sphere I made some clouds.

That seems to have sapped my crafting mojo. Am unable to start or continue with anything else which is very irritating. Fingers crossed it does not continue much longer.

Holiday Round-Up

2011-06-17T10:46:00.000+01:00

A few days ago I said I wanted to do this lot:

Boot Fair today (not going to happen because it is pouring - really pouring - with rain)
Longleat when it is raining less
Visit Bath as I never have and there is a quilt museumamongst other things.
Knit knit knit
Read read read

I have rented a car so I will also be doing lots of tootling around looking at the surrounding countryside, collecting clouds.

Sure enough the rain did knock the boot fair on the head. Longleat was the subject of my last post and was awesome. Bath is another 2 hour drive each way so I decided against it after yesterday's venture was planned. And I have knit, knit, knitted and read, read, readed. I've also driven more than 550 miles since picking the car up on saturday! A big lump was the trip yesterday to Greenways, which was the holiday home of Agatha Christie. I am a big fan and have read all the books and (as far as I'm aware) seen all the TV adaptations too. I was only really expecting the house so the grounds came as a pleasant surprise.

Sadly though the rain did put a stop to too much exploring. The house itself was lovely and was a real home - not a museum. So there were her own books mixed in with family photos and collections they all added to over the years and so on. All rather lovely. I also went with my mum and my dad, who had taken the day off especially, so it was a rare but lovely family outing too.

So Greenway replaced Bath, but how about those clouds? Well...

I know it's not much but it has been 100% cloud cover most of the time which is not very exciting. I will add to my collection over time.

Tomorrow sees me heading back to London and I am having one of those internal arguments with myself over whether to go to IKEA or not. The only thing I need is a baking tray and I can get that anywhere. But... NO! I'll only spend money I don't have on things I don't need. No. Not going. Final. Bah. Being married was so much cheaper than being single. Not that I regret my decision, but I have been reminded of Pooch a lot this week. He really liked coming down here and we had planned to go to Longleat together. But then we had planned a lot of things, and then lots of things happened which I certainly hadn't planned, and so I have had to make new plans.

As I'll still have the car on sunday Humphrey and I have discussed a little jaunt off somewhere. Leeds Castle has been suggested. I haven't been since I was a nipper so I'm up for it - just depends on the weather. It is saying 'sunny intervals' at the moment but it has been so changeable all week I am not sure how reliable it is.

Longleat Love

2011-06-14T09:31:00.000+01:00

I had the most AMAZING day yesterday. I have wanted to go to Longleat since I first saw the lovely Ben Fogle looking scared of the tigers on the BBC back in 2000. Even though my Mum's house is much closer to it than london it was still a 2 hour drive each way, punctuated by me stopping to take pictures of fields and sky, such as this one.

I have been thinking of doing a fairisle in landscape colours since a discussion with Nickerjac on a drive back from SkipNorth. I have been collecting bad photos of the landscape since then. Then a query on twitter led me to a colour palette generating tool.

I chose this one because it gives you 5 colours and a choice of dull or vibrant whereas a lot of the others - google, there are loads - give you 10-20 colours which is too many for fairisle. Or too many for what I had in mind. I am yet to find my perfect landscape but it will occur at some point and then I'll be on to Jamiesons for the wool.

Back to Longleat - it is the seat of the Marquess of Bath and consists of an enoooormous house, an animal centre with things like guinea pigs and bats and then a mahoosive safari park which has all the wild animals you can think of. Prepare yourself for many, many photos. I am not going to go into it all blow by blow as that would take about 3 pages of text so these are the highlights.

1. Boat Ride around gorilla island where we saw the silverback gorilla who gets grumpy when it is "too hot, too cold, too wet or too windy" so was obviously grumpy. Hippos and sealions also in the lake. Real, big hippos.

2. Feeding the Rainbow Lorikeets. I had one on each shoulder, two on each wrist and then one landed on my head.

3. Holding a python called Sir Hiss. (No photo of this - the downside of doing these things alone is no one to hold a camera.)

4. Seeing an escapee American Chipmunk in a beautiful rose garden.

5. Watching a rhino take a mud bath and wriggle to squidge about in it.

6. Having a tiger walk nonchalantly right by the car - about 2 metres away.

7. Watching a tiger try to catch a squirrel. There's actually a very poor quality video of that here. This is it pretending it's cool afterwards. (It is cool.)

8. Seeing the lions lying on their backs, legs akimbo, enjoying the sunshine.

9. Zebra bottoms

My top thing for the whole day has to be the Lorikeets. The word 'hard-boiled' kept coming into my head and I realised they made me think of wool which has been felted and has gone quite robust and tough. They did look a bit like normal sized parrots which had shrunk in a hot wash and their expressions were so grumpy - as if they had just felted their best jumpers by accident. But then when I occasionally tried to shoo one of the zillion hanging off me away it would just look at my hand with this world weary expression and give my finger a little nip. Not in a violent way - just to indicate that they had been shoo'd away by better people then me and so I might as well give up.

I do like animals with attitude. Awesome creatures.

If you were so inclined you can see all my Longleat photos here. I would 100% recommend visiting and that's without actually having made it into the house. My Mum was a bit worried about the animals being cramped but look at this:

That is just a bit of where the giraffe, rhinos, zebras, camels and a few others hang out. They are free to wonder all over the place and they are all in excellent condition.

Today looks like being the best weather I'll get down here so I'm up for a quick run into Minehead to look in all the charity shops and a trip to the best fudge shop in the world. Then back here to lounge in my sun lounger and do a bit of knitting in the sun. Knit knit knit.

Il Pleut

2011-06-12T10:56:00.000+01:00

I am on holiday and at such times, even though I am only in Somerset, I feel the urge to break into French. A minor problem is that my french got as far as GCSE and then went down hill in the intervening 16 years. So it's a bit franglais only without the talent true franglais requires.

Imaginer mon surprise quand je saw le pub sign ici.

How I ended up in Malmesbury is again one of those things that can only be understood when you consider my quite obscene lack of any sense of direction. And this is even with a satnav. Ah yes, dear Liam, who has done so much for Nickerjac and I on our trips to SkipNorth, again saved the day in getting me from A to B and I wouldn't have ended up in Malmesbury had I not got it into my head to pop to Cirencester using road signs alone and then got lost.

Liam did rejoin me to do the right thing in getting me to Lacock where my sister lives and where such tour de forces as Pride and Pejudice, Cranford and Harry Potter have been filmed. Not having seen any of these (although I have admired the mitts) this means nothing to me but she says anyone who has watched those should recognise this.

It is an amazingly picturesque place without being quaint and 'ye olde' about it. I would recommend a visit if you're in the area.

What will I be doing with my week in the deep south? The plan so far is...

Boot Fair today (not going to happen because it is pouring - really pouring - with rain)
Longleat when it is raining less
Visit Bath as I never have and there is a quilt museum amongst other things.
Knit knit knit
Read read read

I have rented a car so I will also be doing lots of tootling around looking at the surrounding countryside, collecting clouds. I believe I have mentioned this book before:

And the accompanying one:

And I saw many fine examples while driving yesterday. But being a safe driver I didn't try to photograph them while driving. You need traffic jams for that, a la Crazy Aunt Purl. So if the rain stops and some non-blanket clouds appear expect regular cloud updates on twitter and on here.

Now where was I...

2011-06-07T06:56:00.001+01:00

I literally sit at my desk and say this out loud 10+ times a day. I have one of those jobs where it is rare for me to be doing something without interruption for more than a few minutes at a time. Phonecalls and colleagues combine to keep things fairly varied and I actually rather like it as it's hard to get terribly bored when you can only do one thing for a few mins at a time without a break. But it does mean that I frequently forget what I was doing and so muttering my little mantra seems to help me focus again.

Blogging is something that seems to have been interrupted by life recently. More than 2 weeks since my last post and lots of fairly disconnected things have happened. For example, I have a FO.

The pattern is Prism (Rav link) and is free, simple and quite effective, just how I like my patterns and my men.

I also received an awesome swap parcel from the Spring/Summer Swap via the UK Swap Group on Ravelry.

My awesome benefactor was none other than PurlPower who I am pleased to see has been suitably spoilt by her own sender. The piece de resistance has to be the handkerchief.

Isn't that amazing? I'm torn between using it and framing it.

In between knitting I've been doing some sewing. One FO is this dress for my mum.

I made myself the exact same dress in the exact same fabric and love it. I know making her the same one is a little sarah-ferguson-freaky but she lives in somerset so we're rarely at the same gala events so I think it'safe. I've since made her another in red gingham which is her favourite fabric but I'm not as sure about it as the other one. I am due to go down to visit them on saturday for a little holiday so will see what she thinks of it then. Of course being my mother she'll say it's amazing whatever she actually thinks but I can also take the scissors to it if it doesn't look right.

In what is now a rare foray into yarn shopping I bought two balls of Kauni with the idea of swatching for a fairisle/intarsia jumper I've had in mind for a while. Kauni is so hard to photograph so just do what you can with this, complete with bits of authentic detritus that always seem to appear in Kauni as in Noro.

The idea was for a cloud jumper or cardigan so off I went....

...but that colourway didn't give me the contrast I was after. I'm now wondering about using the kauni as the background colour and dyeing something for the clouds in a more variegated white/grey colourway. Thoughts?

Then of course while all this frankly usual creative stuff has been going on there is Project Humphrey tootling along in the background. We are now up to 5 dates with a 6th planned for friday. He continues to be highly entertaining although things got awkward last weekend when a conversation I started produced the most accurate impersonation of a rabbit caught in headlights that I've ever seen. And I've scared* a lot of men in my time.

Despite that things do look pretty good so that's one vote from me for matchaffinity.com, just in case anyone is considering having a go at online dating.

* When looking on Flickr CC for a photo to illustrate this I came across this: "Scare Bear".

No longer available which is fecking annoying. I so want one.

Transitions

2011-05-21T10:04:00.001+01:00

It has struck me recently that while some change is sudden and life changing, life more often transitions from one stage to another. A bit like the seasons. We did have a hot week in April but since then it has been highly changeable and more 'spring' like. Today is warm and sunny as we transition into summer.

Last night I went to see Cleopatra at Sadler's Wells. It was amazing. I am not a fan of very traditional tutu type ballet, but the Northern Ballet Theatre always produce spectacular shows that combine great dancing with innovative costumes and sets. I cyber stalk them so when I knew they had a new show coming out I was ready to book the day tickets were released - about 6 months ago. Since then I had forgotten what kind of ticket I had booked and so was very pleasantly surprised to find myself in the centre of the Stalls, 3 rows from the front.

When I booked the ticket I had recently moved out of the flat Pooch and I had shared and was staying at a friend's flat in Elephant and Castle. I was worried about money but also knew I deserved a treat so went for the top price ticket. Thinking back, I can remember sitting on the sofa that first night, wrapped in a duvet, and shivering because I couldn't get warm. And today here I am, months later, sitting on a sofa in a different flat where I now live by myself, thinking about a second date I'll be going on tomorrow with Humphrey. While the end of the marriage happened during the course of an overheard conversation that lasted less than 5 minutes, the transition to single woman has been much slower and slightly more gentle.

It all makes me think of my most favourite experience, one that I rate higher than anything else now that the marriage is over. As the last guide ropes are loosened and as the warm air fills the silk, life is ready to lift off again.

To float over some old ground.

And some less familiar.

Before landing again, who knows where.

Lixie's Adventures with Gentlemen Chapter 3

2011-05-16T15:36:00.000+01:00

I have had a number of DMs and texts asking how it all went on Saturday, when I was due to meet Humphrey for the first time.

We met at that romantic destination of choice - Waterloo station.

He immediately got us lost which I took to be a good sign since I am also geographically challenged so could tell how much we had in common straight away. We meandered around the Southbank for more than an hour chatting away and generally laughing. Then got a drink and managed to carry on talking for another 4 hours.

We said our goodbyes and have since arranged to meet again next weekend. Since then we have started following each other on twitter which lead to a memorable email from him which simply said, "Humphrey?". Bless.

I Love This Bracelet

2011-05-14T08:15:00.000+01:00

I first saw this type of bracelet when the talented Heather Murray came along to (possibly the first?) SkipNorth and was wearing it. It sparkled on her wrist and was extremely eye catching.

Fast forward about 5 years and I finally made one of my own.

Fast forward another year and I wear it a lot and am wondering why I don't make them in all the colours of the freaking rainbow (except the ones that make me look jaundiced. Jaundiced wrist = not sexy.)

The pattern is free and is on Ravelry here. It is well written and let's face it - this is garter stitch, so the hardest thing about the whole project is threading the beads. But if you've got half an hour and a television it is soon done.

That Heather Murray - she's one clever lady. She knitted her own wedding dress and, unlike many that appear from time to time on the less charitable sites, such as regretsy, this one looked beautiful. And she not only designed this jumper for her City and Guilds, she also dyed the wool herself and knit the whole thing on 2.5mm needles. AND as if that wasn't enough, she brought it as a carryalong project on another SkipNorth and knitted it while chatting. If that was me, doing fairisle on 2.5 mils with 12 background colours, it would be solitary confinement, damp flannel on forehead and occasional cackling.

So here endeth the impromptu lovefest. It's just that I wore my bracelet again yesterday and spent some time last night considering how awesome it was. Because that's my kind of Friday night.

Lixie's Adventures with Gentlemen Chapter 2

2011-05-09T12:13:00.000+01:00

Chapter 1 obviously went really well. Yup. So I was on a roll for Chapter 2.

I decided to stick with the same ploy - man on bench in the sun - and found one in a park near work at lunchtime. No wedding ring - check. The last one hadn't had one either but at least I was on the look out this time. I sit down. I look around a bit.

Me: Hi. Do you want to have a conversation?

MWIAWWS: ---

Me: Hello?

MWIAWWS: Huh? Oh sorry, I was asleep, what was that?

Me: Oh sorry. I was just saying hello.

Man Who is Asleep While Wearing Sunglasses: Oh, well, I'm just really tired.

Me: Abort! Abort!

So thus far through Chapter 2, what had I learnt? Possibly that the whole men-on-benches thing was a bit too random. The time had come. I was going to have to sign up to a dating site.

Fast forward to last Thursday and, following advice from Tweeters and Ravellers, there I am messaging a few interesting sounding men. One, let's call him 'Humphrey' since he's a civil servant which just makes me think of "Yes, Minister", made a particular impression and we have now reached the email address stage. For those not in the know (and how I envy you) it goes...

messaging via the site (all anonymous apart from username and whatever info/pics you post)
exchanging emails
telephone numbers
personal meeting
fluids

You don't have to go through all 5 steps and the timescales are variable, but that's basically it. So far he seems pretty funny and of course it's impossible to tell at this stage but it's quite fun and harmless which is what I was looking for.

I have been poorly all weekend which is insanely irritating, but I did manage to do a bit of knitting (more on the grey cardigan), crochet (more on the ripple blanket) and churn out some more home furnishings. I had been looking for a little lamp since I moved in and found them all boring. So I finally bought a bland, cheap one and covered it in leftover fabric from the curtains.

And not content with the quantity of polka dots in the flat, combined with a realisation that glass coffee tables need fairly regular cleaning, I used another random piece of fabric to make a little tablecloth.

The red and white polka dot theme is definitely developing well.

Right, off to reply to Humphrey's latest.

Radical Honesty

2011-05-03T21:42:00.000+01:00

It seems like I have learnt a lot from american television shows. Although if you consider hours of tv watched against amount learnt it's probably not that even. In "Lie to Me" when you first meet the geeky young Eli he is being radically honest. It intrigued me at the time because I do lie a lot (not about important stuff - just to make things more interesting), but my default is to tell the truth and that confuses people because they think I'm joking when I do. Anyway, that was my first introduction to it and I read up on it and did an experiment and then forgot. The experiment was last year and I asked out a guy I have fancied the pants off for some months but who is so utterly unsuitable as for it to be practically a 'Friends' storyline. He genuinely thought I was joking and each time he asked me if I was really asking him out and I said 'yes' he took it as sarcasm and so it never went anywhere.

Source: imgfave.com via Alex on Pinterest

Then they used Radical Honesty on a recent episode of Bones. I love Bones. I relate to Brennan quite a lot and wouldn't mind relating to Booth ifyouknowwhatimean. There was a debate between Brennan and Booth which went a bit but probably not much like this because I'm doing this from memory.

Brennan: I think Radical Honesty is a good thing as it means people can work much more efficiently together.

Booth: That's fine as long as you take peoples' feelings out of the equation. But as soon as you add them back in you need to have the little white lies that show you care and don't want to hurt people.

Obviously there's a reason why I don't write screenplays and I've undoubtedly done Bones a massive disservice by misquoting all that well-tuned prose but you get the drift.

I have been thinking about giving this Radical Honesty thing a try. But then I keep holding back because of Booth's well-made and badly quoted point about caring for the feelings of others. But then this highlights my dilemma. I have this ridiculous, pointless, pathetic crush on this guy. It's the same one as in the previous example. Since that incident he has acquired a girlfriend and if there is one thing the last 6 months has taught me it is that One Does Not Go There so it's not even as if I want to act on this crush. But it is unflushable - I can't ditch it. It's like being a schoolgirl again and hoping he sits at your table at lunchtime. It is really annoying too because he is utterly unsuitable, not attractive, not my type at all, we have no shared interests and live very different lifestyles and he often comes out with things that make him sound like a real twat. In fact if something did happen between us I would probably be quite repulsed. It's just so goddamn irrational and I have already tried to get over it in all the ways I can think of but none have worked. So, as a last resort, I have considered radical honesty. I could just tell him. "Hey you. I really really fancy the pants off you but cannot work out why and have no intention of acting on it. So now that's out there let's all just get on with our lives." No. Even as I write that I can tell this is not going to work. But it does seem like it would be a relief to just get it out there.

The wiki page says "The program asserts that lying is the primary source of modern human stress and that practitioners will become happier by being more honest, even about painful or taboo subjects" It is a bit of gamble though. I just *have* to stop fancying him though because it's fricking ridiculous.

I've been rambling on about the inside of my foul mind for the last few posts so let's do some non-mental stuff. Doesn't this look awesome?

I spent A Lot of time on the river at the weekend going to and from the Watercolour exhibition at Tate Britain. I had always thought Watercolour was a very specific type of paint that came in little hard cubes and you added water too and it was transparent.

BUT it turns out that Watercolour is defined as pigment suspended in a water soluble medium. So that means it essentially covers everything apart from Oil Paints. This surprised me but it was a nice surprise as it meant the exhibition contained some nice goache and acrylic numbers that I probably wouldn't have otherwise seen ever.

I do like travelling by boat. If you're not a Londoner and come for a visit try taking the Thames Clipper for a couple of stops. It's cheaper than those noisy tourist boats and you can still sit outside. It gives you a different perspective on very familiar things.

Plus having read far too much detective fiction in my time I like to keep my eye out for floating bodies. What? Nothing weird about that. It's not like I've ever seen one. My sister has a friend who is on the murder squad of the Met and I asked him if he could find out how many bodies were found floating in the Thames in an average year but he said No. Very sad. Meanwhile back at chez Byrne it looked like Hurricane Craftina had swept through as I had so many part completed projects on the go. Half a dress for muvver, half a skirt for me, parts of a summer cardigan, looking something like this:

...and as for the windows:

It looks a bit jobby but that's the benefit of window crayons - they come off with water and you can start all over again.

To finish, just when you thought this blogpost couldn't get any more random, here is a heart shaped leaf.

This is the sign that I really do need to start dating. If nothing else it may put me off men so utterly that I get over my crush. If you know a man who meets the criteria in my previous blogpost then send him over. Must have his own teeth, not be an alcoholic and not try and borrow money off me. I know - I'm picky.

The Final Analysis

2011-05-03T19:37:00.000+01:00

I have signed up for a free trial of a dating site. As part of the sign up you get a personality report. It's all quite interesting (who doesn't like reading about themselves) but I thought the final summary was worth a post here, just to keep in mind.

Given your most obvious qualities, it would be great for you to meet the kind of partner:

Who appreciates your need for time spent one-to-one rather than being with lots of people.
Who shares his feelings with you and feels good about you expressing yours.
Who listens to you and supports you in practical ways when times get tough.
Who's able to accommodate when you stick to your guns.
Who's happy with your direct, straight way of communicating.
Who can be intuitive.
Who is as organised and conscientious as you are.
Who enjoys the relationship here-and-now, day-to-day.
Who looks at the positive side of things and is optimistic.
Who welcomes your emotions and expresses his freely.

You'd also really like it if your future partner:

Isn't too clingy and smothering.
Lets you cherish and take care of him.
Is happy to spend some of his free time doing things together.
Is happy to make joint plans for the future.
Likes to be physically affectionate.
Shares your intellectual interests and is able to talk to you on a wide range of subjects.

So there's my checklist for when I eventually venture out.

Make a Clock, using your favourite fabric

2011-05-01T08:56:00.001+01:00

This is an idea that popped into my head a few weeks ago and I finally made mine yesterday so thought I'd share the process.

You will need:

A clock mechanism with hands (see note below about this)
An embroidery hoop of the size you want your clock to be
A piece of fabric big enough to fill your embroidery hoop
Waste cardboard at least as tall as your embroidery hoop plus 2 cm.
A pen
(not shown) Glue suitable for sticking card to wood
(not shown) Scissors

A note on clock mechanisms: You can get these quite cheaply in a number of craft shops and online. I do not like the sound of ticking and so I looked for something called a "continuous sweep" mechanism. Otherwise any clock mechanism will do. I found mine on ebay where prices went up to £10 per unit, but mine was about £3.50 inc postage.

On your card draw round the inner edge of the inner ring of your embroidery hoop. Then add on an extra 1cm on each end and cut out this shape.

Using your scissors make a number of small cuts through the extra centimetre of card and up to the line you have drawn. You are effectively making a number of tabs which will fold up at 90 degrees to the rest of the card.

Put your fabric in the embroidery hoop and trim off the excess at the back so it looks neat from the front.

Flip the hoop over and insert your card. You'll see that the flaps I cut earlier are now pressed against the inner hoop while the main body of the card is flat against the fabric.

Once you are sure everything is fitting properly use glue to stick the flaps to the embroidery hoop (but not to the fabric - afterall you may want to change the fabric in 6 months and having it all glued on will mean you need to cut out more cardboard instead of just changing the fabric).

Using a skewer or your scissors and keeping your fingers clear, make a hole in the middle of your hoop, going through both the card and the fabric. The hole needs to be big enough to fit the shaft of the clock mechanism through.

Follow the manufacturer's instructions regarding fixing the mechanism in place, placing of the hands and battery.

Now put your clock up on the wall and sit back while time passes.

Hints:

My clock hands kept colliding and stopping themselves when I first put it together. As they were plastic I got a dish with boiling water and dropped them in for a minute. I carefully fished them out and was able to straighten them so they now move smoothly over each other.
Pliers may be useful for tightening the clock mechanism washers and nuts around the cardboard and fabric.
As mentioned earlier, you are not stuck with this fabric forever. You can make it seasonal with special summer or christmas fabric, or show off some of your embroidery or patchwork. When you do want to replace it carefully remove the clock mechanism and undo the embroidery hoop. The fabric should just fall out and the card is attached to the inner loop so should stay in place. Put in your new fabric, tighten the hoop, make a hole in the fabric where it needs to be and replace the clock mechanism.

If you use this tutorial please make a voluntary donation of just £1 towards my ongoing craft addiction.

Chocolate Dipping Sauce Recipe

2011-05-01T08:29:00.001+01:00

This simple sauce takes less than 2 mins in the microwave and is good on fruit and, for the true sugarholic, marshmallows!

You will need:

About 40g of cooking chocolate
Tablespoon of honey
Knob of butter
Microwavable dish
Fruit/marshmallows
Skewer/cocktail stick

Precise timings will depend on the power of your microwave, and if you don't have one you can use the traditional bain marie.

Break the cooking chocolate into pieces and put in the microwavable container. In 30 second bursts, zap the chocolate until it has started to melt (For me this took two 30 second bursts).

Remove the dish from the microwave and without stirring add the butter and honey.

Put back in the microwave and zap until the butter has melted (for me this was just one more 30 second zap).

Stir until smooth and serve while still lovely and warm.

Additional options: you can add some cinnamon or other spices or a small shot of your favourite liquor. Just bear in mind with the latter that this will make the sauce runnier and so you may want to omit half of each of the butter and honey to compensate.

Bookmarks to Print

2011-04-28T13:27:00.000+01:00

I've been meaning to do this for about 3 years so here you go - print your own bookmarks.

Simply

download the pdf file
get hold of a piece of A4 thin card or thick paper
print it in black and white (my preference) or colour
Cut into 5 along lines shown

All this was prompted by this amazing etsy notebook:

Source: etsy.com via Alex on Pinterest

More Ideas Than Time

2011-04-24T11:30:00.000+01:00

Source: google.com via Alex on Pinterest

This captures things quite perfectly at the moment. I am at that well-visited and often ignored place, a crossroads.

After my split from Pooch (and before my recent re-descent into madness) I had a short-term fling with a man who said several times "You don't want to get into a relationship straight away - you need time to find yourself and work out who you are." At the time I took this to be commitment-phobic bullshit but didn't really care because he was really quite amazing in bed. But these months later I am all too aware of the, undoubtedly coincidental, truth in these words. I still think he was only saying it as a pre-emptive measure against me getting clingy, but then my therapist would say that was because I was globalising.

It was my annual appraisal at work last week. My Director can be terribly annoying but she is very good at conducting appraisals and very good at giving feedback. She talked about my highs and lows, all very fairly, and then also talked about the future. She talked about my 'personal style' which is 'playful' which in itself is 'great' but can mean people don't see me as being the competent professional that I am because they don't take me seriously. Essentially, what it boils down to, is that I'm getting too old to throw paperclips at people in meetings just cause I'm bored.

All this, along with a suggestion that I might like to consider applying for a 2-year program to train leaders in my sector, plus the CEO's anti-pep talk about us all having been working there too long, is making me wonder what it is I want at the moment.

A year ago I was married, my husband was earning more than me, we had almost enough money for a deposit on our own flat and I was in my job so that I'd qualify for maternity pay and have something decent to come back to after maternity leave was over. Now I'm single, I've had a 1.9% payrise while inflation is 4%+, am paying 50% more rent than before to live by myself so saving much less, and have been in my job for 3+ years with no real incentive to stay or, indeed, to go. I have no ambitions and no aims and the only thing I'm really sure about is that maternity leave and house buying is not going to be featuring in my future any time soon.

It's all so tedious. I saw a book the other day called How to Save an Hour Every Day that guaranteed to save you an hour a day (duh), but I found myself wondering what I'd do with that hour. And if you have to work harder the rest of the time to save the hour, won't you just want to spend the hour slumped on the sofa watching CSI? I like having a job I can do 9 to 5 and then not think about the rest of the time. I don't want to work longer hours or stress about stuff. But equally I don't know that I like the idea of being someone who sees their peers become more senior and successful while they just stagnate. Plus not being able to afford to buy a flat which I can finally paint a colour other than magnolia. So maybe it is worth putting yourself out to become something more than you are. But then it does help if you have an idea in mind for what 'more' would be like.

Anyway. As Poirot would say "It gives one furiously to think." Whatever else happens, at least we can always rely on Rick.

Source: None via Alex on Pinterest

PS: The frog picture was about people being clingy, and not about the sex part. But, you know, works both ways I guess.

PPS: This blogpost was brought to you in association with The Ahmad Jamal Trio, specifically this.
I'm not usually into jazz but this is so freaking sublime. And you can get most of the album on iTunes for £2.49. Sweet.

Spit and Polish

2011-04-18T20:59:00.000+01:00

It was Marathon weekend in London yesterday. Unlike in previous years where they went along a road about 3 mins walk from my flat, this time I could kneel on the bed and watch them go down the road outside. For example, this is the woman who eventually won it. She's running faster than I can sprint and this is mile 16.

Impressive.

I heard someone on television saying they are going to leave a lot of the barriers and things in place for the royal wedding. Not that I'm expecting them to drive past my flat. And in any case I shall be further into town waving a small flag and wearing some union jack pants. On my head. But I will actually be there because I'm very happy about the royal wedding and like that kind of thing. I remember having a street party when I was 4 years old when Charles and Diana got married. Happy days. For me at least - not so much for them in retrospect. So having an affection for the royals I was rather freaked out to see this postcard in amongst my latest Artbox order.

That's just freaky. Of course Artbox is my go to supplier for completely unnecessary stationary, including stickers. And what do I need stickers for? (for a flexible definition of the word 'need')

I'm nowhere near finished. The button ones I was particularly pleased with. They're Artbox too of course.

If you've made it this far through this post you deserve a little treat, so let me introduce you to Chapter 1 of "Lixie's Adventures with Gentlemen". The therapist says to gently push my comfort limits to get used to being sociable again and talking to strangers without freaking out and so on. So on Marathon day I'd been in doing the occasional clap out of the window and listening to the church opposite dolling it's bell continuously. It occurred to me after a while that the bell must be electric as it was bonging once every 15 seconds. That is just long enough for you to start thinking it might have stopped when it bongs again. After about 2 hours of bonging I felt I was going insaner and decided to go for a little walk. I went to the Thames path (about 1 min away and in the opposite direction to the bongalong) and having always turned left in the past decided to push my boundaries and turn right.

Naturally it was a dead end.

But, there was a blond guy sitting on a bench in the sun reading a James Patterson book. He was wearing sandals which did almost put me off but I girded my loins and sidled up to him. He looked up and smiled and closed his book which I thought was fairly encouraging so I uttered my awesome chat up line "Would you rather carry on reading your book or would you like to have a conversation?". I tell you, the boys at work are really impressed with that one. When I first saw him I was honestly not thinking "Aha, likely victim." But as we got chatting we seemed to have a few things in common and made each other laugh and time passed quickly. He was polish and also spoke german and russian (something very sexy about russian) and was an engineer. We talked about all sorts but it wasn't until the first hour had zipped past that I mentioned wrestling. And it was about that time that he mentioned his wife and child. I'm not saying there was a correlation, but I will be mentioning wrestling sooner in future just to save time. We chatted for another hour and he wanted me to go to the cinema with him since his wife and child were away visiting family and so he was on his own all weekend, but that just seemed very wrong (I can imagine how I would have felt in the past had I been away and my other half had gone to the cinema with a girl he'd just met that afternoon) so I declined. We'd been sitting on the bench the whole time but he stood up as I got up to leave and it turned out he was about 2 inches shorter than me. Not that it really matters but still....

So what did I learn from Chapter 1? First off that I can talk to a strange man - or at least a man who is a stranger and then may or may not turn out to be strange. Second that I can be proactive and go out and meet people. Third, that I should mention wrestling sooner. All in all, it was a valuable experience.

pushmepullyou

2011-04-15T12:25:00.001+01:00

Can you do any pull ups?

Or push ups - same sort of thing.

I am not an exercise enthusiast so I guess maybe I could do one if I really had to. But the point is that you're familiar with the concept.

I'm so tired.

It's not really physical, although sleeping is a bit hit and miss and the dreams mean it's not always that restful. It's the effort of trying to stay afloat.

Usually you can just swim through life. Maybe there will be storms and rough seas but even if you get tired you can just roll on your back and float.

And if you're lucky you get a lilo or something.

But at the moment I keep thinking of that Sylvia Plath quote* "I'm not waving. I'm drowning." That and the Lichtenstein picture.

To float you have to be bouyant. You have to be less dense than the stuff around you. And apparently this goes for mentally as well as physically. If you don't float then you have to pull or push yourself up and stay up. And it's tiring. But if you let go and relax down it takes an awful lot of effort to pull back up again because you're already tired from the last time you did it.

Plus you have to keep convincing yourself that it's worth the effort to pull up again.

What has unbouyed me this time? Not that it takes much.

One of my only single friends has started dating someone**. Cause for celebration? Happy that they're happy? Ha. The therapist says my own experiences with Pooch are globalising to all men. She may be right. My first thought on hearing this was "It won't last."

So now I'm tired, depressed *and* bitchy.

* Oh God, she's quoting Plath. Never a good sign.

**OMG!!! And her name is Alex. He's loved up with someone with my fricking name. FFS.

It's a sister thing

2011-04-12T18:29:00.000+01:00

My sister came to stay last night. She is rather more glamorous than I am but it so happened we were both wearing out name necklaces so I felt a portrait was in order.

She complimented me on the crafty bits I'd produced for my new flat - such as the curtains and the fabric bowl I blogged about a few weeks ago. I think all of us who craft can become a bit complacent about what we make. It doesn't do any of us any harm to sit back and bask in some praise occasionally. Leave me a link for something you've made recently in the comments and I'll come and leave you a comment on it.

My main project at the moment continues to be the ripple blanket. I have also got a more portable pair of socks on the go but since I finally finished the sock cardi this is my main one.

Happy!

Wrestlemaaaaaaaaaaniaaaaaaaaaa

2011-04-07T18:57:00.000+01:00

I just love WWE. My love for it has grown considerably since the separation. Wrestlemania is the biggest event of the year for WWE and it happened last sunday in Atlanta. This gives you an idea of the scale.

There were apparently 71,671 people there and I so should have been one of them but couldn't get leave from work because of deadlines. Meh. There were obviously csome other brits there, since Armando Iannucci tweeted this pic of one of the memorable signs in the crowd.

I love the signs. One of my all time favourites was on a large piece of card and said "THE GUY BEHIND ME CAN'T SEE". Simple perfection.

People ask me all the time why I like wrestling. After much thought I decided I like the fact that it has boundaries so people very rarely get seriously hurt and the general athleticism. You can't say it's not impressive when a 6'10" 300lb man holds a 6'4" 255lb man over his head while standing on a table and flips him on the ground.

The Commentators speculated that he might have "shattered some internal organs". Whereupon he gets up and does more or less the same back again. Or when the taller guy (The Undertaker) rebound of the rope and dives headfirst over the top rope in order to nut his opponent (Triple H).

Pretty awesome.

And what to do while watching wrestling? Why, what else but knit. For the sock yarn leftovers cardi is almost finished.

I actually thought it was finished. I sewed in all the ends and added buttons....

......but that collar just isn't working. So I need to rip it and redo the last inch or two. Such a nuisance but will be worth it in the end.

I'm pretty happy with it though! I'll be writing a tutorial type thing on how I approached it.

It's been a pretty hard week all told. After the weekend I was pretty low and then I had another set back on Monday night. But, these things are sent to try us and I'll be at my Mum's this weekend for some R&R and hopefully to catch up on some sleep since that's been all messed up too. I've been trying to keep this in mind at all times:

Source: imgfave.lg1x8z.simplecdn.net via Alex on Pinterest

It's hard, but I'll get there in the end.

The Joy of Pills

2011-04-02T15:54:00.000+01:00

We all know medication has side effects. I am pretty sure I've blogged about this before. And it's not like I haven't been on this stuff before. But this time it is doing my head in somewhat. The sleep disruption - well, I can cope with waking up at 4 or 5am for a month or two. The weird feelings associated with eating - again, not the end of the world. The headaches, cold hands, mild paranoia - all bearable. But the memory loss? That is just screwing me up.

I went out this morning and had to come back twice for things I had forgotten. An hour ago I went out to the supermarket, taking a long windy route so I could walk round the dock and do a token bit of exercise. I left without my list and came back for it. Then after a 20 min walk I get to Asda, am within spitting distance of it, and realise I've left my wallet on the sofa. So I go to the DLR to get the train one stop back again because I figure that's enough exercise, and get on it going the wrong way. Then when coming back the right way, I almost got off at the stop I started at rather than twigging that I now needed to go two stops to make up for the wrong one.

Geez.

I think maybe I'm just tired. And side-effects do wear off, usually, after a few months so I just need to make sure it doesn't get any worse, at which point I have to haul arse back to the doctor and ask them to try something else.

I really want to get back into the habit of regular blogging again since I have missed checking in. I had a bit of a sock knitting binge while I was at my Mum's but since then have been mainly working on things for the house. This bowl now sits on the coffee table and more are planned for the bathroom.

The ripple blanket for the sofa is only on it's third colour but is already looking good.

I'm using the attic24 pattern which is free here although I have made a donation to show my gratitude - I like that way of paying for things. I'm also nearing the end of my ripple cardigan in left over sock yarn. I really feel like I have been knitting this thing for most of my life, but Ravelry tells me it was only christmas eve when I cast on. The day will come when I cast off and I can't say I'll regret it.

I'm planning posts on being down at my mum's and a few others on the new flat and so on. One thing that will need to be explained is the chocolate chickens.

But then that is a story for another day.

Swaptastic

2011-03-22T13:39:00.000Z

Second day back at work - feel like am surrounded by a skin like a soap bubble that could burst at any point, but apart from that things are going pretty well!

To lift the gloom a bit I have join round 7 of the UK Swap. It's organised on Ravelry here and is open to anyone in the UK. Sign ups close 11th April and the single send date it 1st June with a £20 min spend.

Hey, why don't you sign up too?

Stand Back. I am going to try Science.

2011-03-17T10:06:00.002Z

When I moved, my best friend helped (i.e. did most of it) while wearing this t-shirt.

Source: store.xkcd.com via Alex on Pinterest

Alex (his name is Alex too - but he's male. We shared a flat once and people asked whether it got confusing. I always felt it would have been more confusing if it had been confusing.) is a proper scientist with a PhD which he strangely refuses to use (as in the "Dr" bit) and now works in Science Policy. He may be on linked in. He's met Neil Armstrong and knows Prof Brian Cox off the telly. He occasionally politely humours me when I come out with something vaguely scientific because although we did our Physics degrees together I have forgotten 99.9% of mine whereas his brain just keeps expanding daily. I was reminded of this in my therapy session this week where, for reasons that will become clear, I started talking about one theory to do with the creation of the universe.

Think of the path a bouncy ball makes as it bounces across the room.The ball hits the floor and *boing* that is the big bang. It springs up into the air and that is where we currently are - the universe is expanding. The ball stops rising and starts to fall again - the universe stops expanding and starts shrinking. Ball nears the floor again and then goes off again - the universe shrinks to nothing in a big unbang and then big bangs again and it *boing* all starts again.

I dare say that since I did Astrophysics someone has disproved this theory.

Alex would know. But it came up in therapy because we were talking about recognising cycles and patterns. The Therapist is naturally very keen on me getting better and not having a recurrence at a future date. So she keeps pointing out that I've gone mad before and got better, so can do the same thing this time. My counter argument, and the reason for the undoubtedly scientifically inaccurate analogy, is that it did get better, then it got worse again. And so far the getting better and the getting worse again have happened in equal numbers which looks to me like a cycle. But then once you have recognised the cycle you have to break it.

In my science-addled mind I'm going to call this "Going Supernova on your Own Arse" although Alex will explain to me how that is wrong.

Of course it is often said that there is nothing new on heaven or earth, so I find it easy to believe that life is mostly a series of repeating cycles of behaviour. This is often born out in knitting, where I find myself making the same pattern more than once, or at least using the familiar increases and decreases. But with the SunRay Ribbing top I am returning to something I had mostly frogged and cast aside.

Not only am I returning to something that is broken, I have also converted the pattern to knit in the round so as I fix myself my knitting also revolves. As I knit I have been thinking about my next project, which I hope will be something that has been inspired by being down here at my Mums. She has a collection of Spode and other blue and white china. As I have eaten from these plates and bowls during the past few weeks I have grown more aware of the patterns, and the way they might translate into fairisle.

There is a free online tool for converting photos to charts for embroidery and knitting here. It needs some work and manipulation, but I think it could work.

It will certainly make it easier to chart a whole jumper's worth.

I leave you with a final thought.

Source: store.xkcd.com via Alex on Pinterest