I am sure you are all as aware of the film ‘Hell Boy’ as I am so you’ll know what I mean when I talk about the voice over summary at the end of the film when the young guy who wanted the girl observes Hell Boy getting her instead. It starts something like “What makes a man a man?” and continues not too badly for another paragraph or so. Getting to the point I feel like this blog entry is that voice over at the end of my film by which statement you might correctly surmise I didn’t have the best weekend and am now feeling quite self-indulgent and sorry for myself.
You see it has come to my attention that there is really no point telling someone about ‘what happened’ because you’ll only get one version and bits get left out and you don’t see the context or precedent. So as the picture fades and the voiceover starts up….”What makes a relationship work? Alex doesn’t know and this would explain why she has moved into the spare room” And that’s all I’m bothering to say.
Now I could start this next bit “And these things always seem to happen when I’m supposed to cut down my meds” and then that makes me sound like I’m totally kidding myself and it’s all me getting grumpy-type-side-effects and poor-pooch-doesn’t-he-put-up-with-a-lot. But. Although I did start reducing medication yesterday, all of what I’m not talking about happened before this could have had any effect. But the fact remains I did start reducing meds yesterday and so could have done without it all anyway. And furthermore. Because I have started reducing I am now all uptight about having those naughty thoughts that involve dressing gown cords and large expanses of water and…jesus…how long has it been since I didn’t wake up feeling tired? Madness got really bad around dec 03, was kicking off before then…..so that would be about 2 years. I have felt tired for two years and it’s not like I even had a kid or anything.
So to summarise
1. There is still no phone or internet at the flat-of-fun hence irregular blogging and lack of pictures.
2. I’m really fricking tired
3. I am sleeping in the spare room
4. I feel the level playing field that is life tilting – I am back walking uphill when it would be so much easier to just roll back down into the darkness.
5. Stupid films have a place in society as cultural reference points