Consumed by sadness

After a rather tumultuous day, Pooch and I have mutually decided that it's over.

I am as upset as I have ever been. I've lost my best friend as well as my husband. It is just so utterly sad.

Day 19

Here we arrive at Day 19, and what do we see? Different hair colour, everything else the same. Hmmm.

Pooch and I have been talking a bit more recently and spent some time together at the weekend and had dinner last night. We have been talking about what we feel is wrong and what we've been happy about. At the moment there seems to be an awful lot that is wrong. Plus there are things wrong that I didn't know were wrong which have only come up since we started talking about what was wrong. So to keep the marriage going we are going to have to rebuild it completely.

This echoes a comment a reader called "Lauri" left that said....

"Just remember that you don't have to make any permanent decision. You can choose what's OK for now, and choose something else later. FWIW, I've been married for 21 years and marriage is HARD. It's really hard. You're not alone in finding that relationship the most difficult thing you will ever do!"

This is something I've thought about quite a lot, along with something in a book I've been reading about the 'fit' between two people. The fit there was when you met will not necessarily always fit right. People change over time and so the fit between them is bound to change too. Some things, after a while, just don't fit anymore.


Having decided that there was no point going back to Relate for a third time, we're going back to Relate for a third time. I changed my mind after drinking Raspberry Shortcake cocktails with a friend who I have never known to willingly answer any direct question, but who is good at reflecting stuff back to you.

Raspberry Shortcake Cocktail

* 1 shot Amaretto

* 1 shot Tuoca (no I have no idea what this is either. Plus the internet thinks the factory that makes it is closing down. I think vanilla vodka would do fine)

* 1 shot Chambourd (raspberry liquer)

* Cranberry Juice

* Ice

* Bucket to drink it out of

So. There you go.