Friday, 11 August 2006

Hum.

Somebody asked CAP whether she ever worried about the ex reading her blog and she replied that she was sure he didn't. However, it is different for me because I know Pooch uses my blog to see how things are with me from time to time. So there are things I want to write about that I don't because of not wanting him to see them. I tried keeping a diary again but it has never really satisfied me and it seems dumb to keep one when the only time you use it is when you have boy-bovver. It's not exactly a good record of your life when that's the case.

From this it might be apparent that domestic bliss didn't last long chez byrnepooch. People who read this keep emailing me to tell me he's basically a shit. But then he gets annoyed about that because he says they only have my side of the story and so it all reinforces however I describe things. Which is fair comment but does assume I'm biased, which of course I am. But am I completely self-deluded as well? Do I really have such unreasonable expectations of behaviour and attitude or is he actually unreasonable? I have been in relationships before where these kind of things wouldn't have been done or tolerated.

Is every relationship a never ending story of angst and emotional suffering where you constantly question whether someone can really think that what they just did/said is reasonable. Do other relationships cause one half to question whether their whole view of life is wrong because if what is being said is true it must be. Or that one person has unreasonable views on what is or isn't acceptable when, applying the usual social norm that it's normal til someone tells you it's weird, no one ever thought so before.

What do you do when your partner thinks you are complete irrational and unreasonable as well as being slightly mental when at the same time you have this tiny fear inside you that maybe you are being totally cuckoo and you just haven't realised it yet. Can I really be being totally unreasonable without realising? Without anyone realising. Without anyone thinking to mention it. Have any of you held back from mentioning it because you thought someone else would have done?

4 comments:

Julie No Fags No Husband said...

Well I have held back on some things you have mentioned but not the fat flab thing, as I said if he wants to see fat 'I got plenty girl!' !!!!!!!!!!!

RoxyKnits said...

No, not every relationship has to be full of angst. You always have some, hey life is always up and down isn't it and relationships are no different.

BUT cruel comments about weight are a no no. I've had ex'es that would try and undermine me. And thats why they ended up as ex'es. Don't even start questioning yourself. No one deserves comments like that. It just ain't nice!

Tigger said...

If you are forced to question yourself as much as I have seen you do on here then personally I have to say your probably better off on your own. Being told that your not as attractive as when you first got together, excuse me? That should have been followed by an I find you MORE! But it werent. Pooch may not like the way you write a one sided blog, but it is YOUR blog! I say put down here what you REALLY feel and let him read EVERYTHING, maybe he will think twice before he says something horrible again.

Lindsey said...

Anyone who says that someone else is completely unreasonable is probably fairly unreasonable themself. Does Pooch harp on and on about your weight? If not, try not to be too upset because of his moment of madness/honesty? If it was just a one-off remark, then he was trusting and loving you enough to be truthful. The best relationship advice I've been given from someone who had been married for over fifty years, and it works - never go to sleep still angry, compromise if you must, but make up before sleeping. Loving each other loads doesn't automatically make a fab relationship but we get false expectations from all that 'happily ever after' stuff. A successful relationship is like a duck - all serene on the surface, but bloody hard work out of sight.

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