Tuesday, 10 April 2007

The post of many titles....

Title One: Pity Me
Somebody, anybody, please go and leave a comment or review on itunes about my podcast. Even if you hate it. It just looks all neglected sitting up there all barren. I was going to leave one from me but then I considered how truly sad that would be and so didn't. And speaking of truly sad have many of you so far managed to avoid facebook? It's sweeping the ocean, as frank zappa said in the amazing song/ballad/opera 'mudshark'. Pooch is seriously addicted. He is on there now on his laptop (while watching the football at the same time - isn't it amazing how some men can't seem to think and eat at the same time but when the footie appears they become madly multitasktastic) updating his profile to let people know he is in the sitting room and not in the kitchen. And you know who is to blame for this. Aha! Sister 2! You know it. There she is with her youngandtrendy lifestyle and Pooch is determined to show he can keep up, bless him. Hang on, they just scored. Whooppee, no sulks tonight. Perhaps time for title 2...

Title Two: Good Vibrations

Of the many weird things I do when I get an idea in my head (such as buying a long arm stapler) today was the product of the weirdest in a while. Allow me to introduce you to....the powertoner (that should be read in the kind of voice that announces films like 'The Terminator'). This fairly harmless looking device resembles a step machine such as you might spot while walking past the gym on the way to buy cake. They were offering free trials so rather to my surprise I phoned up and booked one.

Dude.

In the photos on the website the already thin and toned models are holding plastic balls in a coquettish fashion and looking rather composed. The bits they are sitting on vibrate. No, I am serious. These things are giant vibrators. Now when you put, let's say, a stick on a vibrating plate it jiggles about. Now let's think about what happens when you put, say, a jelly on a vibrating plate.

Uhuh.

That was me. Vibrating. I swear there were bits of me going one way that really should have been accompanying me back the other way and other bits kept colliding between the up and down strokes and the whole time there was this muscly man saying 'yeah, alice, you're doing great' (men call me 'a-lice' a lot. I'm not sure if this is because they mishear or they consider me to be some sort of creepy crawly). It was very very weird. And considering I was there for a free trial wouldn't you have expected them to try and sell me something? Or tell me about the benefits of sitting on a vibrating plate, apart from the obvious? Or even just fling a leaflet at me as the session ended with a "OK, that was great guys, bye" leaving me standing there with some bits not yet having stopped moving. I guess I should consider myself lucky but it added to the weirdness.

Title 3: Where A-lice is swayed by peer pressure

Actually I don't think you could describe it as pressure. It was more like the kind of force used when someone blows a kiss. Because I was listening to craftypod from itunes (you know, the one that you are going to visit any min now to review my podcast) and, as regular readers will know, I love Sister Diane who does craftypod and so do tend to hang on her every word. And during the episode she talked about DIY planners and gave out the website diyplanner.com. Oh My God. There really are people out there as fricking weird as each of us and some of them have websites. This is just the sort of thing I have been looking for all my life. And so being as impressionable as a saggy tomato I immediately went on their website and printed out the pdfs and started converting my life into an A5 (mostly A5 - the guillotine slipped a bit) booklet. And, remembering the tomato thing, I went and bought the book that inspired the guy who started the website to start the website.He doesn't seem to get a commission which I think he should really look into because he totally sold me on it. I'll let you know how it works out.

Title 4: In which the madness gets talked about again (yawn!)

Yeah I know, time for some navel or naval gazing, depending on your preferences. I rebought a book called '10 steps to positive living' which was the one all the therapists went on about when I was in hospital being mad. I would really really recommend it if you have low self esteem or you get down and procrastinate or get anxious and all that stuff. I felt I needed a top up so couldn't find my original copy and splashed out on a new one. Today I bought the kind of follow-up but more like the books that expands one particular chapter about low frustration tolerance called 'Beating the Comfort Trap'. This book is also by Windy and with another author he lays out some stuff about why, for instance, I put short term chocolate pleasure ahead of long term beinglessfat pleasure. And possible even why I keep buying unecessary stuff, such as the long arm stapler. And what made me really think about this was the subject of stash acquisition which, as I mentioned in the podcast, you know, the one you're going to go and review on itunes in a min, I just seem to need more and more wool. And I also need to have it around me. And while I know a large number of readers would describe this as perfectly normal for a knitter I'm not so sure. And since thinking about buying wool is stressing me I'm thinking it's a problem. Pluis there's the chocolate thing. Man, I could really eat a big fat cupcake right now. Anyway....

On the subject of cupcakes I had an email from a listener (to the podcast, the one at itunes) including a photo of her very own knitted cupcakes which do lok fantastic! I love the white eyelash type yarn for the coconut topping. She also sent me a link to an amazingly tempting site called cupcakeblog.com that as well as having conventional recipes has real off the wall ones as well as loads of gorgeous photos. The listener in question blogs here and has done one of those amazing feather and fan shawls I think I blogged about a few months ago and which makes me want to give feather and fan another try (it being something I have never managed to love). She has also done some of the potamus socks from knitty. Can I be the only one in the blogosphere who has not yet attempted a Cookie.A. original?!

Look, these are her cupcakes (reproduced by kind permission of catmum!) - aren't they divine!

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Monday, 9 April 2007

Yo diggidy

My name is....slim shady.

Was asked to post the answers to 2 questions as part of secret pal so here they are....
  1. How old were you when you learned how to knit?
    I was three! My mum bought me a 'my first knitting' kit with blue plastic needles and really scratchy acrylic yarn and away I went. Can't remember what I made but i can remember some older kids seeing me and telling everyone who came near that I was only three. Looks like knitting in public has never been something I was shy about!
  2. Who taught you? My mum. When I took it up again properly later in life (erm, about 21) I went to the library and looked in the children's section for a 'my first crafts' book and re-learnt all the casting on and off bit.
So episode 4 of the ol'podcast is up at http://lixieknitsit.podbean.com so hop along and have a look or subscribe through i-tunes. One of the things I talk about is the shop 'all the fun of the fair' off carnaby st and I remembered I had a few photos of it on my phone so here they are.
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The wall you can see is all the yarn with the other walls and tables full of accessories and goodies. The second photo shows the shop window and if you look in the background you can see the knitted cupcake tower I talk about in the podcast.
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I've also got hold of a cushion pad for my archemides spiral cushion from woollythoughts.com.
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Yeah, it does look kinda crap but hey, you can't win them all. I also have a finished object, namely a baby cardi that used up the last of the wool I did my amazing jumper in.
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Just a very plain garter stitch one from debbie bliss done all in one piece. Did a lot of that while watching wrestlemania at Denning's house. So cool (the knitting and the wrestling!).

So have eaten my chocolate rabbit and am still pretending to self that this is the start of a new less-choc-era. Well, have made it to almost 11am and haven't had any yet in any case. Have an added incentive to start a weightloss programme to keep myself sweet for Cillian Murphy who is now on my get-out-of-jail-free-list*. Oh yes, he is so fine. Oh yes, I'm going to make him mine....

*Some people find it strange that Pooch and I have these lists which contain between three and five people depending who is telling the story. These are people we can go and do the dirty with without it impacting on our relationship. Pooch has natalie imbrulia, eva green and kate moss i think and I have whoever I damn well feel like at the time**. The rules are they have to be famous and a sub-rule is that you have no chance of ever scoring with them ever in a million years ever. But a gal can dream!

** Cillian Murphy, Mark Harmon and ..... not sure who else today. Angelina Jolie?!
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