I had my first day at my new job today. Before going in and even after I got there I wasn't so much nervous as properly scared. Scared. It's not often as an adult you get the chance to be genuinely scared. And I have to say it was amazingly unpleasant. I just wanted to get out of there. First off my boss took me round to one of the local cafes and we sat there are talked through the job, the organisation and a bit of tangental general chitchat for two hours. I have to say she couldn't be nicer. Actually maybe she could. Maybe if she'd greeted me, handed me a red polka dot knitting bag filled with one of each of cherry tree hill's sock yarns plus some ebony 3.25mm needles and my selection of patterns written personally for me by the world's top designers and then led me to a meeting room and told me to go for it while reminding me of the pepsi max chilling in the fridge - maybe that would have been nicer.
I knew that working for my doofus old boss in that mind numbing job had sapped my self-confidence but this has really brought it home for me. It's awful really how much I let his behaviour affect me - actually believing for ages that it was my fault projects weren't working out when really experience has taught me they were doomed from the start.
As it was she talked to me about all the stuff she wanted to do, all her plans and hopes for the future, and I just felt more and more relaxed as I realised - I know how to do all this stuff. I did this job for 5 years already. All the stuff she wants me to do I've already done. Well not all because that would be boring but most of it. She tentatively asked how I'd feel about podcasting! The people are nice. The office is nice. The hours are good. The money is fine. So basically day one has ended pretty nicely and I'm certainly not scared anymore. I wouldn't say I was exactly looking forward to tomorrow but I'm certainly not scared and I'm looking forward to finding out more about what the future holds.