Friday, 15 April 2011


Can you do any pull ups?
Pull ups
Or push ups - same sort of thing.

I am not an exercise enthusiast so I guess maybe I could do one if I really had to. But the point is that you're familiar with the concept. 

I'm so tired.

It's not really physical, although sleeping is a bit hit and miss and the dreams mean it's not always that restful. It's the effort of trying to stay afloat.
Usually you can just swim through life. Maybe there will be storms and rough seas but even if you get tired you can just roll on your back and float.
Just floating around. .
And if you're lucky you get a lilo or something.

But at the moment I keep thinking of that Sylvia Plath quote* "I'm not waving. I'm drowning." That and the Lichtenstein picture.

To float you have to be bouyant. You have to be less dense than the stuff around you. And apparently this goes for mentally as well as physically. If you don't float then you have to pull or push yourself up and stay up. And it's tiring. But if you let go and relax down it takes an awful lot of effort to pull back up again because you're already tired from the last time you did it.  

Plus you have to keep convincing yourself that it's worth the effort to pull up again.

What has unbouyed me this time? Not that it takes much.
Happy Couple
One of my only single friends has started dating someone**. Cause for celebration? Happy that they're happy? Ha. The therapist says my own experiences with Pooch are globalising to all men. She may be right. My first thought on hearing this was "It won't last."

So now I'm tired, depressed *and* bitchy.

* Oh God, she's quoting Plath. Never a good sign.

**OMG!!! And her name is Alex. He's loved up with someone with my fricking name. FFS.

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