Saturday, 30 July 2011

(Updated 9th Sept) Lixie's Adventures with Gentlemen Chapter 4 in which Lixie uses swear words

(Update at end of post)
I am a shit magnet.
shit fountain
Let me explain....the most recent adventures have been someone I met through someone else, not through the godawful matchaffinity. We were emailing back and forth for two weeks and then went on a first date on Thursday.
Date Street
Two hours of chat and a bit of kissing. Nice.

Emails restart the following day. Mid afternoon he suggests meeting up that evening as well. I had an evening of pinboard activity planned (actually pinboard, not pinterest) but I decided to forego it and meet him again.
Pimms at the Tate Modern Bar where we both decided there was too much traffic for snogging and so went to sit on the grass outside.

THREE HOURS later he walks me to the tube with me sporting the latest in teenage accessories.
love bite hickey
As we're walking I'm saying that one of the reasons I hate dating is because you have to have these conversations about exclusivity. "Is that a second date conversation?" he asks. Fortunately undeterred I continue at which point he says (and to be fair I may be paraphrasing) "Actually I'm kind of already seeing someone but it's ok because it's waning. I didn't tell you because I wanted to see what you were like before I did anything else."
surprised jude

Before concluding that the man is at best amazingly naive and at worst a cheating weasel, let's review the evidence.

  1. I had already asked him in an email whether he was a cheating weasel (exact words used) because I hold views on such things. 
  2. We had been emailing for two weeks with the stated intention of eventually going on a date, during which time he was presumably in an un-waning relationship with this other woman. 
  3. I had been 100% upfront about both the divorce and the depression.
  4. During early emails we had discussed our approaches to relationships and I had described mine as 'open and honest'. 
  5. He didn't volunteer this information to me until I asked him directly, and initially tried to avoid the question. 
  6. He has a "try before you buy" philosophy.
  7. He's given me a fucking glow-in-the-dark hicky. 


9th September Update
Since the episode related above happened I have ended up getting to know the man involved rather better. We've actually become pretty good friends. I have therefore had a chance to revise the impression I had of him and would like to issue the following correction:
  1. He did not set out to decieve.
  2. He is not a try-before-you-buy kinda guy.
  3. He is therefore possibly not anymore weasel-like than the rest.
I suppose we've all met people who seemed really nice at first only to turn out to be utter bastards. This is a rare case of the opposite being true. It almost makes me think there is some point going back to dating. Almost. 
9th September Update 2
Ok ok geez. And I gave him 2 hickeys. BUT they were barely discernable.


Heather Cawte said...

What a b*@£$?d!!

You are too good for treatment like that {{{{{hugs}}}}}

(I loved your illustrations in the post!)

Nic said...

Completely agree with the verdict a complete arse

Katie said...

But still.. by the sounds of it you got rather a lot of kissing out of it. I'd give a lot right now for a date with a few kisses!

Anonymous said...

As your younger and more feisty sister I want to hunt this guy down. Love the pictures though monkey xxx

Fred said...

I could think of a few choice words to add as well. I guess he interpreted "open" to mean the other type of "open" :(

Daisy said...

Good grief, I'd have, erm, kicked him where it hurts...

TJ said...

Lixie, you deserve the kind of guy who is going to be as honest and upfront as you are.

Kick this weasel to the curb!

Hugs from germany, tj

suse-the-slow-knitta said...



Great post but it's a pity you had to go through a whole pile of shit as inspiration! Man, you gotta laugh eh?

Ynot said...

I remember an ex-landlord/friend who told me that the next relationship was always an improvement on the last (at the time I was recovering from the love of my life dumping me) and in my head I thought, "Yea, right, whatever." But he turned out to be right. After several years of awful dates and finding out people are just really WEIRD about relationships I found the man who is a PERFECT match for me and we've been married 10 years. Hang in there! There are a lot of people who seem normal and who are fun to make out with but who are NOT cut out for a long term relationship. You seem SO awesome and you deserve to find YOUR perfect match!

Ynot said...

Oh yes, and I meant to add that it can be quite daunting looking for a good relationship, I know. I have struggled with depression myself and that can scare off and/or confuse some people.

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