Wednesday, 21 December 2011

It Only Takes a Minute...

I have brung myself low.
Deep Hole Caution
I was clearing out old emails today and found one from Pooch which ended with "I love you Byrnington". Instead of pressing delete and moving on I lingered which dug the foundations of the hole (I know what I mean) and it then got deeper as the day wore on.

Steve from work (not only mentioned as an excuse to show a gratuitous santa shot again since it is indeed he) has been talking about buying a house with his wife. I am very happy for them. BUT...
5k santa run for the stroke association
It also reminds me once again of how close I was to buying a flat with Pooch, having a baby with Pooch, having security with Pooch...when all of a sudden I overhear a conversation and it's "Syonara". Of course it wasn't 'all of a sudden' but that's for dramatic effect and so the plot doesn't get bogged down in detail. It's not like I didn't blog about it all ad nauseum anyway.

What really enrages me though is not that I am so far off the housing ladder I'm actually in a hole next to the ladder (although that is really annoying) but that I still miss him! It's absurd. Ridiculous. Insane.
Even while I'm thinking about everything he did - the cheating, the lies, the drinking - I still miss him! It's so fucking annoying!
funny pictures - Ur shag carpet  it haz an angry

Does anyone have a solution? Actually, I did just buy a new bottle of Tia Maria. Maybe that's all there is to it.

While looking for pictures for this post I came across these awesome Fat Kitties.
She has an etsy shop here. Looking at the angry fat kitties has actually made me feel a bit less angry. Or that could be the second shot kicking in. My MIL who I miss so much sent me a cat calender yesterday. Nope, I'm back in the hole again. Pass the bottle...



I really like the look of those angry fat kitties but I think the Tia Maria is more likely to hold the solution to your worries.

Ynot said...

Hang in there, Lixie. And I'm not saying don't enjoy a snifter (or two) of Tia Maria. But just keep in mind that, as I'm sure I don't have to tell you, alcohol is a depressant. Or as my best friend said to me once when I was depressed and having a drink, "Alcohol is a depressant, you know." Yep. I knew!

The whole Pooch thing will slowly lose it's potency as time goes on. That's my experience. Although it CAN sometimes be a shock to be reminded of how much it can affect you.

After my long time, live-in boyfriend dumped me, I was visiting an old landlord who I had always liked and whose wife had run off to join come cult. He and she had always seemed the perfect couple. And he told me that the next relationship is always better. At the time I wanted to tell him, "yeah, sure. whatever. maybe for YOU." But he was right.

You'll grow and enjoy life and have wonderful adventures if that's what you want and you allow it all to happen.

And with that, Happy Christmas!!

knittingsal said...

As in the film Finding Nemo "just keep swimming, just keep swimming".You had a lot of hopes and dreams in your marriage,and they don't just disappear. Be kind to yourself, and don't linger in the Tia Maria!!Well done at doing the couch potato to 5 K. You have inspired me. I have so far downloaded it onto my ipod (well it's a start)Have a happy Christmas. xx

Karen M said...

It is completely normal to grieve for your relationship even if he is a weasel. Accept that being sad about is a healthy reaction, accepting yourself and your feelings will help you heal faster. Then yes, keep yourself open to new possibilities. Life goes on and gets better. Good luck and keep knitting!

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