Sunday, 2 September 2012

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

I am not very good at being single. Bleh, even as I type that I can feel generations of women lib-ers shaking their bras at me in disgust. 
freeform bra for silent auction
But it's true. 

Sadly I don't seem to be too good at relationships either. Although sometimes I think it may be the equipment I am given to work with. 
But then only a bad crafter blames her tools. 

Someone said to me a week ago that Pooch and I were going out again so that was all OK and I was sorted and loved up again. That gave me pause for thought. 
Lost in thought (Istanbul)
Is it generally assumed that, if you divorce someone, then 18 months after you left them start going out with them again, everything will be straightforward? 
Saint Stupid's Day Parade 2010  91
I am not in a terribly good mood this morning. The topic of Relate counselling came up. I may be accused of oversimplification but the gist is that if the problem is on my side then there's no point both of us going to counselling. Afterall, there's no point just endlessly going over what happened. 
Saint Stupid's Day Parade 2010  62

I once had a boyfriend, a long time ago I hasten to add, who uttered that now immortal phrase. "I'm going to have a shower while you finish yourself off."
I did say I wasn't good at relationships. 


wendyhighmore said...

It's only bad craftsmanship if you blame a perfectly good tool. Recognising that it's the faulty needle which is snagging up your wool is just common sense!

knit nurse said...

I'm sorry, and I know exactly how it feels because I've done the second time around thing myself, except for the marrying and divorce bit. The second time around I came to realise that it just took a lot less time for the cracks to start opening up. Being single can be shit, but at least you have the power to make changes, you just need to find the motivation, whereas if you are in a shit relationship, you have to rely on the other person to work with you. Good luck.

Ynot said...

The thing to do is decide the things you do and don't want to have again in a relationship. Work on yourself when you have the chance. And try to be ready when someone who's a good match comes along.

I know it's hard being single. I always think it's like being unemployed - part of you would like to relax and enjoy the freedom but the problem is you don't know how long it will be until you find the next position so you can't.

Hang in there!

nightcrickett said...

Just keep in mind that the things that were a deal breaker the first time around are still going to be there. He isn't going to change and you can't make him. The only thing you can do is change yourself and how you feel about the things he does. And if those things are still not okay, then don't bother going through it again to the same result. You are the only thing you have control over and you can choose how you want to react or deal with situations in your relationship.
Being single and miserable is not as bad as together and miserable. When you are single, it is a lot easier to change the miserable because you don't have to deal with someone else who doesn't want to change.

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