Back in the swing again

Geez, I was really really low last week. But it was miraculous how putting some distance between me and london, or more specifically, me and work, on friday night caused a complete shift in mood. I have been spending waaaaaaaaaay too much time trying to work out how to make my current job more bearable and generally stressing about it while not having any energy left to get a different one. So, off with the old and in with the new. I have been thinking a lot about what was taking up the most head space for me and it was the usuals of having power and money and respect. What other people would think of me and the impression I gave was far outweighing what would make me happy and what would make me think well of myself. So I'm not looking for the same money anymore because with that kind of money goes pressure and responsibility. I am happy to exchange a pay cut for a happier life. My priorities are so different now to what they were before I went mad. I used to think of position and career and possessions whereas now I'm thinking about learning to cook, how I can contribute to society and yes, maybe even having one of those noisy sprogs I see hanging around the necks of some women.

Anyway, enough of the navel gazing. Let's talk knitting. I've got a few photos to share. First up what I have been working on loads for the last week. It's skipnorth booty from coldspring mill. It's an elizabeth zimmermann pattern and is done completely in the round. It is some half price DB cashmerino chunky and is just yummy.

Still a fair way to go but it's coming along.

Then there is this...which I should think practically every knitter ever has knitted by now. It is, of course, branching out from knitty.com.

It's been done in alpaca silk from elann and was a present for my mum who's birthday is tomorrow. I gave it to her today as we were down there for the weekend and she loved it so that's good.

Then there is a slight catch up as I have finished a vast number of socks since I last blogged properly. Here is one pair (socks that rock)...

and another (cherry tree hill)...

and the oddments....

I'm actually rather pleased with these last ones. They were a present for Pooch and here he is gracefully modelling them.

Here is a detail of the random slip stitch pattern I used.

OK, and finally, a sneak preview of a pattern coming up in the third issue of 'Proud To Be Crafty' the zine. It's what every gal needs for her eco friendly shopping - a reusable and 100% degradable cotton bag.

I've gone and splashed out on some blue sky cotton to be the sample with the zine so people can see how lovely it is. Although you can also use £1.99 a ball sirdar cotton and it will come out just as wonderful.

So here is to a happier week - hazaaah!

Whew

Um, been a long time between posts. Sorry about that. Had a visitation from the item pictured, as Kate would put it, and so have been a bit out of it.

I did make it to getknitted in bristol yesterday but haven't had a chance to photograph it. It does mean I am sooooo definitely on stashalong now. For a month (I go to new york in a month so you know, I couldn't really be on stashalong there). But after that for another two months. Or maybe three.

Episode Three is up....

....and includes a really interesting interview with the Chair of the KCG. And it really is interesting, not just because it is me doing it. Have a listen and then get in touch with them with your ideas.

http://lixieknitsit.podbean.com/ or on itunes.

Cor Blimey

That's it. SkipNorth has been and gone for another year. I had an excellent time up in Yorkshire and came back with a none too dusty haul of yarn, books and gadgets. Here it is in all its glory.

Let's break it down.... first up loads of angelina fibre which is the stuff that fuses together when you iron it. Plus fabric remnants and the cutest pair of pyjamas for a certain little girl who will soon be getting a little brother.

At the front is the sock yarn Sian chose and which I have started magic looping a sock with. Magic loop is something Nic taught me while we were away and is very cool but more of that later. Then we've got a tunisian crochet hook, red variegated wool for a jumper and some big old chunky stuff for a felted bag.

3 colours of james c brett marble but in chunky rather than the usual dk. This is the acrylic I am always going on about and which I love and these are new colourways so I was very excited to see them. Plus three books from the KCG duplicate pile and a cone of cashmerino chunky in a lovely slate blue. So soft.

Tonnes of variegated machine washable wool at a mere £1.50 for 50g from Wingham. Ooooo, so lovely. Plus a cone of 1p a gram blue cotton. A big pile of vintage carded buttons and a hint of the 1000g of red I bought to do a red and white fairisle cardi with.

Those of you who are regular readers will know that I do my socks on 2 needles. And That Is All. I seam them up the side of the foot, wear them with pride and give them out with alarming regularity to random friends and family. BUT.... Nic and I got to the hostel on the Thursday night and while we were vegging in the lounge I noticed she was creating a pair of socks (both at the same time) on one long circular. Yeah - wow. At least for me. Turns out this was the magic loop method which I had in my mind coincided with the two circ method which I have tried and failed at. But it turns out they are different and now I am well into my first magic loop sock!

It's going a bit slowly but I'll get there.

Now it's not like SkipNorth is my whole life sphere so in an effort to prove this here is the progress on the never ending crochet afghan from Interweave Crochet that my secret pal from round 8 or even 7 sent me.

It's coming together very nicely. This is about half size - it is massive!

Talking of secret pal I have had not one but two emails from my one for SP10 and she (or could it be he? need to go back and reread the email!) sounds very cool and we seem to have a lot in common so I am really looking forward to that. I've been in touch with my pal too who has been having quite an eventful life recently so lots to work with there.

And finally..... before I come back later with the ol'podcast.... here is the fat girl picture where one tried to hide one's chin by doing the abovelookingdown thing.

I'm going to lose a stone and then get wed.

Most beautiful yarn ever

This has to win the 'most wonderful yarn/colour combination ever'. I'm totally loving watching the colour pattern emerge. It is, of course, socks that rock sock yarn.

Mmmmmmm.

Head is full of SkipNorth. Still lots of detail to sort out with the Guild, shops and needs of various peeps. Will be relaxing by the time it actually happens!

Sat 3rd March

Not much knitting to speak of but I did have a rather wonderful day yesterday largely due to these.

Pooch now refers to me as 'DangerByrne'. I was surprised, as I am sure some of you will be, to realise that the skating prowess I enjoyed at the age of 8 has withered somewhat in the intervening 20 years. I therefore skate with all the elegance of a newborn giraffe and make very similar noises while doing so. But skate I did. Oh yes. It took me about an hour to get approx 400m in Hyde Park yesterday as I had to keep stopping to enjoy the scenery. Meantime all these bright young things kept zipping past me. Most of them turned to skate backwards at the point where they actually took over so as to better observe my ungainly progress and snigger into their retro kitsch skater snoods. The buggers. However, I am determined to persevere as it gets me out of breath so must therefore be good for me and I don't totally hate it.

While staggering along I had the chance to enjoy a bit of Hyde Park at its spring time best. Allow me to present some nature candy...

It did all bring home to me people's love of exhibitionism (says she with a blog, zine and podcast). For instance look closely at this photo.

In the centre of the bandstand was a guy with a skipping rope. He kept stopping every few skips to adjust his clothes and check his hair.

I ended up walking round London for about 3 hours pretending to be a tourist and whipping out my camera at unsuitable locations to take pictures that could be called either edgy or crap depending on your nature.

Now when I say no knitting to speak of I am of course lying because with SkipNorth coming up I have been thinking of nothing else. My stash has been duly spread across the whole flat with this being the master bedroom at about 10am yesterday.

Ahhhhh, wool wool wool. In fact I am selling a fair lump of it as I had a brutal reconciliation session yesterday plus I need to amke space for the acquisitions next weekend. If you are interested in tonnes of 99p bargains click here. (Ignore the PS2 games - those are Pooch's contribution to the electricity bill - or bid extravagantly if they are your kind of thing.)

Pooch has now departed for a better place (The Lake District) and should arrive in KendalMintCake in an hour or two. His absence gives me the opportunity to reflect on my life BP (before pooch) because at some point I used to do my own food shopping and my own cooking. Now what did I cook? Pooch talks laughingly of millet and cuttle fish but I distinctly remember buying things that could only be described as 'value'. I'm talking those sausages that are made of 'pork products' and cooking chocolate and jars of cooking sauces, or tins even, and dried pasta (although Pooch has come round to dried pasta after Heston told him it was OK to use it). It did make me think that actually I prefer the cheap stuff. Let us take yesterday as an example - I could have bought some luxury chocolate to have as my sat night treat yesterday but instead I went to the sweet shop in piccadilly and bought pick'n'mix. Now leaving aside the fact this stuff has been open to elements for 8 years or more and has been manhandled by every german teenager in site I just can't get enough of those vermicelli covered rum balls that have never seen a hint of rum, or probaby of chocolate. Show me a sweet shop and I head straight for the white chocolate skulls and mice that don't so much melt in the mouth as dissolve into mush. Ooooo, cheap sweets. Yum yum yum. Which reminds me of a Frank Zappa song called 'Cheap Thrills' which went, if my memory serves me correctly.....(ahem)

Cheap Thrills
In the the back of my car
Cheap Thrills
How fine they are

Now there was a man. Let us not forget his position on muffins - a force to be reckoned with.

So anyway, skater Byrne signing off. As a parting shot here I am trying to be a hoody although my gargantuan middle aged thighs are giving me away somewhat.

Out with the old, in with the new

I can't remember half the stuff I was going to post about as I've just had some really bad news. The guy someone close to me had bought a flat with has turned out to be a complete louse and has been having an affair. The only reason I'm not f'ing and blinding is because I don't want to turn the blog blue. What kind of 'man' would do that? It really shocks me to have had it happen to someone so close to me.

Well, I'm not in the mood for posting about knitting today. Sorry about that.

Podcast Episode 2 is up!

Let me know what you think! You can also subscribe to it through i-tunes.

http://lixieknitsit.podbean.com/

Baby knits and heart shaped boxes (kind of)

There is a teeny tiny baby boy due in May who will be getting this little ensemble.

(Yes, that is Pooch Kermit is sitting on. Nothing but the comfiest seat for Kermit.)

They are made of something I think is called Sirdar Baby Denim or something like that. The hat pattern is from a modern book and is a 2-needle job but the jacket is from a 70s baby pattern book full of really plump little critters with rosy cheeks and big smiles. Here's a better pic of the lacey bits although the colours look weird in this one.

This was also a big week for socks as I handed over the socks that rock socks to BoyAlex and he did the whole i-love-them thing very well. Here is an action shot!

They did seem to fit very well so I am very pleased with them and of course that means I am a quarter mile through my sock yarn. Somebody asked what 5.2 miles of sock yarn looked like and it's really not that much. Honest. Well. Kind of.

A lot of it is plain green, blue, brown and white so I am thinking of some Elizabeth Zimmermann knee highs that were in interweave a few months back. It would mean dpns though so is a big thing to take on.

Talking of Interweave brings me on to something we'll just deal with briefly - my previous post. As expected there were a couple of 'but she's pregnant' type but the majority were supportive on top of those of you who took the time to email me privately about it. Particular thanks to one person who took time to share some of her past experiences with me. Anyway, as I said I got the money back and will just steer clear of hipknits in future so no harm done. End of episode!

SkipNorth is now less than 2 weeks away which is quite thrilling and vaguely terrifying as well. There is still a fair bit of detail to be worked out such as who sleeps where and dietary preferences and a final itinerary for the coach but once that is done I will be finishing a project I've been working on behind closed doors for a while. This is another blog which is more for my use than for public consumption over at LixieKnittedIt. This is a repository for things I have already and do plan to knit in the future. It is also somewhere to keep track of my stash. My original idea was to keep it as a showcase of what I'd knitted as a lot of my outpourings have flown the nest with no permanent record remaining of them. But it was also to serve as a deterrant to online shopping as when tempted I could pop across to this site and look at what I've already got. Cunning, but time consuming, so it is still very much in progress.

Another thing that is in progress is the PODCAST! Whoop whoop. Episode 2 is due to hit the airwaves tomorrow and I have found some music to use in it and everything so it should go pretty nicely. Famous last words!

Very finally we have had a new addition to our family - a heart shaped Le Creuset casserole dish. Isn't it sweet? The handles make me think of sticky out ears. I christened it by making a wholly inappropriate toad in the hole in it and it came out the other side relatively unscathed. Hoorah for kitchen kitsch!

What should I do with my £13?

I have now twice written an email to hipknits asking to cancel my subscription and twice deleted it before sending. I feel like it would be a case of cuttingoffyournosetospiteyourface type thing. But really, what exactly would I be missing out on? I speak of course of the now legendary Yarn Forward magazine which has had...... one issue.... which was pretty good and came out in October last year. A second issue was promised at the beginning of Jan and subscriptions were sold. Admitedly only £13 or so for 4 issues but still, a pound's a pound. And so the saga of when-will-the-buggery-thing-arrive began. Cue excuses from hipknits. I looked on the magazine blog at the weekend and Kerry said it would be with us by the 20th. That's today! Where is my fricking magazine. I go to the magazine website and there is a message on the blog saying "there hasn't been as much progress as she hoped". Mid Jan she told me it was with the printer but she kept getting bumped down their queue. Now it seems to be back in the design stages.

All this exasperates me slightly because you contrast it with my experience with Woolly Workshop and Gill who I think must be a reincarnated buddhist reaching nirvana point. She read my woe yesterday on my blog and took the time to email me to say to give her a ring and she'd try the card again. And lo and behold it works. And lo - an Interweave Knits subscription did appear. Gill is a business woman and runs a business whereas the magazine seems to be some sort of hobby. I was reading the comments on the blog all telling Kerry not to worry about the delays and c'est la vie and all that stuff. Well I'm glad if she has supporters who are prepared to wait as long as it takes but isn't it a business she is running? For instance she has my email address from my subscription - but the only time she told me what was going on was mid Jan when I emailed her direct to ask. She hasn't even posted on UKHandKnitters about it which must contain the majority of her subscribers in one fell swoop.

Gosh, rant rant. I know this is bound to have upset some people and so can I say once again that yes, Kerry is a very nice person and I don't wish her any illwill and yes, I know she's pregnant. I wish her health, wealth and happiness but I finally sent my email. And to give her credit she's processed it while I've been dithering over publishing this. £13 should be coming back to me so peeps - what shall I do with it?

Just to bring this to conclusion on a happier note - Nickerjac has had her scan and there is a picture of the baby on her blog. I am *so* happy for her and Andy xxx

Man, can you believe I'm still humming and hawwing about publishing this post? It was about twice as long when as it is now when I first got to this point. Fecking conscience. However you spell it. I remember when I used to publish-and-be-damned when I was a fiery young twenty-something. Now I'm a jaded old twenty-something and keep giving others too much space in my head, as John put it. Must have head mange*.

OK - final attempt to end on a high. I have discovered a podcast called CraftyPod. You can subscribe through itunes and it is great. Interesting, balanced, engaging and diverse. I like the cut** of her jib.

*This needs to be read in conjunction with the previous post - I do not actually have mange although it's probably time to wash my hair.

** Cut using the correct scissors while pointing them away from your body for optimum finish.

Yes, life does suck today actually or "How I learned to accept purple mange as part of my life"

I am having a day that can only be described as mangey. Nothing in particular wrong, just low level mange. I don't mean I have a parasitic skin infection, because that would be unhygenic and those of you who thought it might be the case should go and gargle with TCP ASAP (and should think of those letters as a word with the emphasis on the a as in a-sap but not as in a-rse). Blah blah.


I got some ATCs in the post today and they were much better than the ones I sent. And I got rejected for a Project J thing I didn't want anyway. And I tried to subscribe to Interweave knits on woollyworkshop's site and my card got inexplicably declined even though I went and checked there was cash. And pleh. So yes. Mange. It's the only word for it.


In other news I've been listening to shed loads of podcasts recently for an article for issue 3 of the ol'zine. There is a lot of crap out there, if you'll pardon me saying so. I told one of Pooch's friends that my podcast was on i-tunes and he was impressed as he seemed to think there was some kind of vetting involved but in fact you could record your Pooch-equivalent farting and submit that and as long as it has an RSS feed it would be fine. So although I don't think I came off too badly (and thanks commenters for saying nice things about it!) it has all made me wonder why. WHY? Why am I spending so much time on a zine and podcast? All when I have now had 2 business ideas and yet the little voice in my head (what I was instructed to call "Nid*" at a recent training course) keeps telling me it would be too much hassle to make it happen. And yet here I am with podcasts coming out of my ears.


So naturally having convinced myself I don't have the time to make a living out of craft I sat down and sewed some really rather beautiful little ATCs. At least I think they are.

I've put them in descending order of niceness. I've gone right off purple recently. Perhaps purple is my colour for mange, in a Synesthesic kindaway. I really wish I had that thing with the colours although I'm guessing it's not quite so great as I imagine.

So anyway....on the needles? Um...still the socks that rock socks. Still 'branching out'. And finally , still the sirdar denim blue baby hoodie although I should finish that tonight. Pictures? Pah, who needs pictures when you have purple mange.





*Negative internal dialogue. Should always be replaced by Pid. I'll leave you all to work out that one for yourselves.

Secret Pal 10 questionnaire

Yes, that's right....I'm in.

1. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with? What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?
I don't like cheap acrylic or most eyelash yarns. Apart from that I'm fairly easy. I do prefer things to be machine washable even though I handwash most of my knits.
2. What do you use to store your needles/hooks in?
I have a needle roll and a crochet roll that I made myself. I don't use dpns much as I make all my socks on 2-needles.
3. How long have you been knitting & how did you learn? Would you consider your skill level to be beginner, intermediate or advanced?
I'd say I was an advanced bodger in that I can do most things but won't mourn if I make a mistake. The one thing I haven't tried is a big lace project. I can't decide whether I want to or not.
4. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?
No, sorry.
5. What's your favorite scent?
Vanilla and strawberry. I don't wear perfume but I love scented candles with those perfumes or bubble bath and things like that. I am allergic to lavender in all its forms.
6. Do you have a sweet tooth? Favorite candy?
YES! I have a very sweet tooth which is undeniably why I'm on a diet. I love all chocolate, even the really cheap stuff with the exception of high cocoa dark chocolate.
7. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do? Do you spin?
I can spin but I don't. I have tried most crafts but after knitting my top two are crochet and ATCs.
8. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)
I have an mp3 player so mp3s are good. I like hip hop!
9. What's your favorite color(s)? Any colors you just can't stand?
I really like red and shades of it. I'm not keen on purple but do like green/blue combos and have some socks that rock yarn calling my name for my next pair of socks.
10. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?
I have a fiance called Pooch who is a geek and features frequently in my blog and on the podcast I just started. No pets as Pooch is allergic but I really like cats!
11. Do you wear scarves, hats, mittens or ponchos?
No ponchos! It hasn't really been cold enough to wear hats and mittens this year but I do wear both. I also wear scarves although I'm not keen on curly whirlies (I do make them for other people though!).
12. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?
2 needle socks probably. I generally have at least one pair on the go and normally more. They are mindless knitting for the tube or office lunchtime or when I'm tired.
13. What are you knitting right now?
Socks, naturally! Branching out scarf from knitty.com for my mum. Lacy baby cardigan for a friend who's expecting in May. Hex hat from knitty.com. A complicated aran jumper for my step-dad (longest UFO at about 2 years!)
14. Do you like to receive handmade gifts?
Yep!
15. Do you prefer straight or circular needles? Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?
I generally use straight or circs. I have the denise interchangables which I LOVE! If I'm using straights they are the shorter ones. I find 30cm needles too unweildy.
16. Do you own a yarn winder and/or swift?
Both. Woudn't be without them.
17. How old is your oldest UFO?
2 years - I'm waiting for my stepdad to get fat so the jumper will fit him. Um....it's a little bit big so far (curses).
18. What is your favorite holiday?
Easter because of the chocolate? No, diet Byrne, diet. I'm not sure that I have one.
19. Is there anything that you collect?
Chocolate? My major collection is ATCs. I really love them and love swapping them. I also have a huge stash of wool, naturally. I also like weird pens but I use them rather than collect them.
20. Any books, yarns, needles or patterns out there you are dying to get your hands on? What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?
I just let my Vogue subscription lapse as I haven't wanted to knit anything out of the last 3. I'm going to replace it with interweave knits. I do like interweave crochet (hint hint!)
21. Are there any new techniques you'd like to learn?
Maybe some sort of lace shawl. Apart from that it would be more of the same.
22. Are you a sock knitter? What are your foot measurements?
Definitely but.....I'm trying to hold back the tears...... despite knitting dozens of socks for others no one has ever knitted me a pair. I have size 7 feet (UK). I have a strong belief that yarn isn't sock yarn unless it is machine washable at at least 30 degrees.
23. When is your birthday?
4 July 1978 - yes, american independence day!

Finished Objects

Got a few photos to show off quickly.

This one is a tiny curly whirly scarf in blue james c brett marble with a fluffy edging.

These are the socks made from regia silk. I'm not sure about the colours but then they're not for me!

This is sock in progress in socks that rock 'nodding violet'. I've actually finished this one and started the other now. Such progress!

Now this is just eye candy. Pooch brought them home on Monday after doing a naughty thing on sunday night. They are much appreciated and calm has been restored to the ByrnePooch household!

And here is the aforementioned Pooch with me up on the walkway high above Tower Bridge - this is the surprise he managed to keep from me for the last month or so. It was really lovely up there with champagne and a pianist (not something to say when you've quaffed too much champagne)

And now some otjer kind of candy. Rumballs. I'm talking about the cheapo version you get in pick and mix. There things are just sooooo good. I could eat a zillion. And I just found out they have them at the top shop sweet concession on oxford street. Mmmmm.

The sharp eyed among you will notice that in the picture there is only about half a rumball. You see? They taste too good for me to wait to photograph it.

I'm planning issue 3 of the Proud To Be Crafty zine so if you fancy committing yourself to paper just let me know!

Normal service is resumed

I've changed the link in the post below to go to a site that should be better for podcast hosting. I know some people had had a couple of problems so this new site should sort that out.

Meantime I have had a delivery from Amazon full of knitting and crochet goodness! I ordered it about 3 weeks ago and had to wait this long for no particularly specified reason. The books are Couture Crochet Workshop by Lily Chi, Amazing crochet lace and Mason & Dixon knitting. It's the crochet lace book that has really done it for me though. The things in there are just so beautiful! I'll add pics once I get to my scanner.

I haven't had much of a chance to look at the other ones yet but will do later on tonight.

In knitting news I've done about 3/4 of the first socks-that-rock sock for BoyAlex. I keep thinking back to the piano key socks over at Slipped Stitch's blog. I don't have any black sock yarn and somehow I just don't think they'd look as good in brown and white. But surely I can't justify buying any more? I did the big count and I have.......

5.2 miles of sock yarn

Ok, OK. I commit to knitting 2 miles before I buy anymore. Goddammit. How many socks is that anyway? It takes me about 70g to do a pair - gosh all these mixed measurement units. Confused! How do you end up with 5.2 miles of sockyarn anyway? I mean.....MILES. We're not just talking football pitches here.

Miles. Geez.

Anyway. I'm trying to psych myself up to go to kick boxing, which I loathe. Maybe it is a punishment for having too much sock yarn. Yep. That could work....

Podcast!!!!!

OMG. I've amazed myself and actually got this done. You can download it here. It's 20 mins long. I haven't sorted out the itunes side of things yet but will do before episode 2. Episode 2 in 2 weeks time. Oh wow.

Show Notes

• Lime and Violet Podcast
• BritKnitCast podcast
• Blogs mentioned in the podcast are linked to in the lefthand toolbar (CrazyAuntPurl, KnitTheKnits and SlippedStitch)
• Cherry Tree Hill sockyarn available in the UK from WoollyWorkshop.
  
• Socks that Rock sockyarn available in the US from BlueMoon.
  
• The free software I've used is called Audacity and can be downloaded here.
• The Audacity Tutorial I used is a video one and is very good. Shows you everything you need to get recording and editing.
  
• The 'How to Podcast' tutorial I used was here and is really thorough - it includes bits about software and hosting.
• This site is hosting my mp3.
• Pooch is currently available for parties and other entertainment events.
  

Let me know if you've got requests either for the next podcast or the next zine. The zine will be out at the beginning of April after the magical SkipNorth is over.

Bleh

Bleh bleh bleh and so on. What a manky week. Nothing in particular - just low grade dirt. Anyway here is my weekend with no cold and nothing but good stuff to look forward to. Tomorrow brings a visit to deepest Kent to see friends and their little one year old daughter. Am so looking forward to it! Then Pooch and I are having a nice dinner. Then.... sunday brings the podcast recording. Let's face it - it is probably going to be quite rubbish but I'm quite looking forward to it. I haven't decided yet on a name...... Lixie Live is a possibility.

I did have some photos to show off of this week's achievements but I can't find the fricking camera. Something I didn't have photos of is the 'severe weather' we were warned was on its way to London on Thurs. I swear to god there was an inch at most of snow which had gone by lunchtime. Severe weather my arse. Meant I got a day working at home though so I didn't really mind.

Project J is getting me down a bit actually. As Pooch says it's not a good idea to go on about it too much here but it is occupying all my thoughts and generally casting a shadow on things. Should think more about the podcast instead!

Dum Der Digger Digger....

You know that music at the beginning of DVDs that goes Dum Der Digger Digger, Dum Der Digger Digger? I am a law abiding person excepting the occasional photocopied knitting pattern but there is something about that music, denied to warn you off downloading movies illegally, that really makes me *want* to steal a car. And a bag. And if I had a DVD writer I would steal films too. It's the way I am forced to watch this little mini movie EVERY time I watch a DVD. Every....fricking.....time. DVDs that I have bought and own legally and everything. I wouldn't want to steal just anyone's car though - look at how horrible it was when some scumball knicked Woolly Wormhead's van - I want to steal the car of the person who decided that that little film with the Dum Der Digger Digger would play everytime I watched one of my own films.

OK, dirge over and no more timewasting - we've got an alphabet to finish here folks!

L is for Luuuuurve. Because today Pooch and I love each other and everything is Luuuuurvely. Who knows what tomorrow will bring but for today - all is well.

M is for Medical Assistance. This is my way of getting round the fact that I have already long passed D and also that I wanted to tell the world how brave I was at the dentist today. Why don't they give those stickers to adults? Those ones that say what a brave girl you've been. I want one. I want a huuuuuge one.

N is for noteatingasmuchasIusedto. I lost 2 pounds!

O is for Octopus. I want to knit an octopus. All those dangly legs. I know I've seen patterns. Why haven't I knit one yet?

P is for Podcast! I am still on this. One might say "I've got 5 on it". Is that rude? I keep wondering. I really need Miss Louise Cameroonie to tell me because she knows stuff like that. I think of it as having something in hand but it could equally be a euphamism or however you spell it for wanking. On that topic my podcast is going to have sex tips. And jingles. Ha! Also on that subject, P is for Pooch. P is also for Pez. I bought my ickle brother this little one earlier.

Isn't he cute? Brother is actually 15 but you're never too old for Pez. Er, right?

Q is for quilting. I had all these good ambitions about making a quilt but it's gone no where. I just tried to make some ATCs using bondaweb as a quilting shortcut and stuck the fricking bondaweb to the paper and now the whole lot is buggered. Screw it. What's a buggered ATC between friends? Ha!

R is for reading. Have I mentioned already that I am currently reading Dan Brown's Angels and Demons? I am doing it for work and writing a review of the physics content. Which incidentally is quite extraordinary. My psychiatrist has several times recommended The Life of Pi. I really ought to read it. Anyway...mind went off at a tangent there.

S is for Slimfast. Obviously. Did I mention already.... I lost 2 pounds!

T is for toes. I know this is getting a bit tenuous now but let's stay with it. I have finished a sock. Same old simple 2-needle pattern using the bargain regia silk sans ballband I got form "the Wool Baa" on ebay (this is also where I got the yarn for the sister socks, which Debbie over at the Well-Tempered Knitter and also the Curly Cable gal asked about.) I do have a recipient in mind but I'm just not sure whether he'll go for them. Will ponder a bit more.

U is for Um.

V is for Valentine. I started a Valentine magic yarn ball swap on swap-bot. I know I said I'd never go there again because I kept getting shafted but I got lured back. But never again. They've changed the rules without telling people so if you're the swap host you're basically buggered. Either way I am still committed to this swap and soon this little lot...

....will be winging its way to Holland all wrapped up in that ball of Taos you can see at the top of the pic.

W is for weekends. I'm still hurting about having missed mine due to the Pooch-given-lurgy. Goddamn Pooch.

XYZ is for xyz-I'm-bored-already. It was getting a bit tenuous.

OK, now for the bit where I inflict this alphabet on all you guys. The challenge is for you to come up with one word to describe yourself going all the way through the alphabet from A-W. Think along the lines of Adorable, Beautiful, Cross-stitch, Devilish, Earnest.... I'm going to tag 5 people and we'll see how far it goes.

I tag.... Nickerjac, WoollyWormhead, Moo, Gill (knitting at number 9), Purl Power and Kate (knittheknits). Guess I'd better go and tell them.

Oh but before I do..... Pooch bugged me for more than a year for a winerack. He complained constantly. And I mean constantly. The boy is persistant. So I buy him a winerack. To be more precise I buy him a self-assembly winerack in November. I assemble it myself. It took more than an hour, fecking winerack. And does he use it? See for yourselves...

The pepsi and mouthwash are my additions and the two bottles of wine are out of the ocado delivery that just arrived that I paid for. The mini champagne is from our engagement party that happened a year ago. Honestly.

I is for ill

I'm not a big Katharine Tate fan, although I do think the 'bovered' thing has hit a national chord even more than 'yeah but no but'. However there is one of her sketches I do likie and that I think of often and that is the one with the old lady who invariably at some point in the sketch will say "Whhhhaaaaaaat a f*cking liberty." You see I've put the asterisk in there in case anyone is feeling as feeble as me. Of all the days to come down with a cold friday has to be the worst. Worse even than the day before a big deadline because at least then you can struggle womanfully on regardless. On a friday you have your own free time ahead of you. Your own hard earned weekend. You've slogged the other 4 days so far and you've earnt your fricking two days off and yet now you're ill and so you'll have to spend your own time.....your OWN TIME.... being ill. It's so much more satisfactory to get ill on a Monday, Tuesday or even a Wednesday.

Goddammit.

Anyway, my lunch with John yesterday filled me with lots of riteous zeal and so have come up with a business plan, although the unenlightened might call it a spider diagram on the back of some junk mail letter. I have also made the bold decision to go into podcasting.

It was britknitcast that inspired me. I mean, she talked mainly about what she was knitting and what she had been doing and all the jazz as well as interviews with others and snippets of this and that. That sounds like the kind of thing I could enjoy doing and so I can reveal now, exclusively on this blog, that I have already booked a special guest for the first show. Hold on to your hats people - it's Pooch. That's right. Long suffering wool widow Poochard is going to be joining me on the airwaves at a speaker near you. Not right now though. Am too yucked up to talk properly at the moment.

So anyway....I won't be completing the alphabet today since I'm too pissed off with the whole ill-on-friday-thing but I do have some photos. It will however transpire that one of these objects has made me feel slightly worse.

One thing that has cheered me up is the arrival of my clippykit bag. Yaroo.

The moment this is posted I will commence planning a foolishly complicated lining bag that I will never actually get round to making.

These are the finished socks that from tomorrow will be gracing the feet of sister 2.

And this, miserable object, if a sideways knitted sock where I followed the pattern faithfully. FAITHFULLY!!! Is it a sock for a kangaroo? I can not imagine it ever fitting a human foot. Not unless the person in question was a severely undernourished clown. I spent time knitting that thing. Fricking patterns.

So anyway, there you have it. I will remain on this sofa with my tissue mountain and feel sorry for myself. Send chocolate.

A you’re adorable, B you’re so beautiful….

You know that song? I was having a random train of thought that led me to it having started off with a simple concept which we will refer to as ‘Project J’. But before one gets to J you have to go through a tonne of other letters so to begin…

A is for awfully long blog post, which I have a feeling this is going to be. Because I haven’t updated for a while and I will tell you why. I have been having a fit of the RIHL’s (rabbit-in-headlights). I am a bit stymied in a couple of the two aspects of my life and this has led to a bit of a freeze on the thinking front. Fortunately I met my mentor (all the best people have them dontcherknow) for lunch and in between talk of knitting, The Chap magazine and diets he did what he always does which was to shake things up a bit and generally inspire me.

B is for not getting Bogged down (see what I did there) which goes for life as well as for blog posts which look like they might start running into several pages. B is also for BritKnitCast which I am ashamed to say I only just discovered. It is one of these podcasts all the young people are listening to nowadays and is really fab. And I’m not just saying that because she mentioned my zine in the last one. She has made me return once again to the idea of doing one myself although it is the editing side of it that puts me off. First of all I don’t have any software and secondly the sound of my own voice makes me positively…

C is for Cringe. I’ve never got used to it and still don’t recognise myself on answermachines. Why am I leaving messages for myself on answermachines? Well C is also for Crazy although that isn’t actually why I was leaving messages (they were for Pooch in case anyone is still wondering). On the crazy side things are going pretty well with me firmly in the Care of the Community at present. The bummer side effect of the old mirtazipine was the increased appetite which has sadly led to…

D if for Diet. Not just any old diet though peeps, this is the Slimfast Plan, mentioned in my previous post. You know what I mean “A shake for breakfast, a shake for lunch and your normal dinner”. Small print reads ‘where usual dinner doesn’t mean a sara lee gateau’. I’m actually doing pretty well although this is entirely down to the fact the shakes are chocolate flavoured. I mean, is this a no brainer or what? All those who have met me will have noticed I am seldom far from a chocolate orientated product, hence the fricking diet in the first place, so a chocolate orientated diet is guilt free bliss!

E is for Ermmmmmm, because I can’t think of anything to do with E. Ears, eggs, easter, elephant. OK, we’ll go with elephant. A colleague of mine – we will refer to him as steveyweevy since this is what I call him in the office – has recently started checking in here and has been bombarding me with information about an appeal to knit warmers for elephants. I kid you not. During our last conversation about this particular topic he told me he’d been in touch with them for the pattern which he would then pass on to me. I am yet to work out whether he’s joking or not. He told me he went to a Fitty concert last year today with a straight face and seemed genuine so it could all be true.

F is for Fitty, or 50 Cent as all of us of a Gansta nature will know. Just thought I’d slip that one in there.

G is for Gommel, which is the word I use to describe Pooch. He gommels or can be found gommelling around. He is my gommel husband. (Anyone thrown up yet?) Getting onto more serious territory G is also for Git, which is a word I also use to describe the Pooch when he is on top of his game. The G (choose your own meaning) has had a bad cold this week and so has been feeling very sorry for himself. I have frequently found him curled up in bed with his laptop – using it as an auxiliary hot water bottle. Cue computer virus jokes….

H is for Holiday, which as we all know is SkipNorth fast approaching. There are two places left on this all things to all people holiday in Yorkshire. Knitters, spinners, crocheters – all are welcome. I’ve previously described it as 35 knitters doing a kind of wacky-races type event round the last remaining mill stores consuming wine and sandwiches in equal measure. I am sooooo looking forward to it. Although god knows I really don’t need any stash enhancement.

I is for…I need to come back to that one.

J is for jumper. Obviously. This is still pretending to be a knitting blog although J is also for Project J which was mentioned a month or so back in the first paragraph of this post. If I tell you that J stands for ‘job’ then all should become clear. To make it even clearer I am a sober, upstanding lady of determined character looking for a position within suitable distance of London. My key talents come under the heading of ‘making things happen’ plus I wield a mean knitting needle. Anything considered, as long as it is interesting. Challenges preferred. I will of course let you know how Project J develops…

K is for, what else, Kabbalah. No, not really – Knitting of course. And yes, I am actually still doing some contrary to appearances. I’m carrying a sideways sock around with me at the moment which is interesting as I don’t have a decent picture of the finished project so am not sure what I am knitting towards. Plus the pattern was translated from German so I’m not even sure if it is correct. It’s looking perfectly acceptable though so I’ll keep pootling along.

Those of you who have grown facial hair while reading up to this point will be relieved to hear that I am going to end it here. Or rather I was. I’m getting error messages from blogger telling me there is a server error which seems to have been happening rather a lot lately. Am seriously considering a move to typepad or something like that. If anyone has any advice then you just let me know.

STOP PRESS - blogger has let me in to post (fingers crossed) so I'll complete the alphabet during the weekend.