It Only Takes a Minute...

I have brung myself low.

I was clearing out old emails today and found one from Pooch which ended with "I love you Byrnington". Instead of pressing delete and moving on I lingered which dug the foundations of the hole (I know what I mean) and it then got deeper as the day wore on.

Steve from work (not only mentioned as an excuse to show a gratuitous santa shot again since it is indeed he) has been talking about buying a house with his wife. I am very happy for them. BUT...

It also reminds me once again of how close I was to buying a flat with Pooch, having a baby with Pooch, having security with Pooch...when all of a sudden I overhear a conversation and it's "Syonara". Of course it wasn't 'all of a sudden' but that's for dramatic effect and so the plot doesn't get bogged down in detail. It's not like I didn't blog about it all ad nauseum anyway.

What really enrages me though is not that I am so far off the housing ladder I'm actually in a hole next to the ladder (although that is really annoying) but that I still miss him! It's absurd. Ridiculous. Insane.

Even while I'm thinking about everything he did - the cheating, the lies, the drinking - I still miss him! It's so fucking annoying!

Does anyone have a solution? Actually, I did just buy a new bottle of Tia Maria. Maybe that's all there is to it.

While looking for pictures for this post I came across these awesome Fat Kitties.

She has an etsy shop here. Looking at the angry fat kitties has actually made me feel a bit less angry. Or that could be the second shot kicking in. My MIL who I miss so much sent me a cat calender yesterday. Nope, I'm back in the hole again. Pass the bottle...

Forward Planning

Slow day at work today. I happened to be catching up with a few blogs when I came across this post at Skein's Blog. The IntSweMoDo (basically knitting a sweater a month) continues in 2012 and she discusses signing up. She also then ponders what she might make.

I've always admired people who sign up for that kind of thing. I am just not a joiner. As soon as I feel obliged to make something I'd rather do the washing up or clean the windows or a million other things. But then I do crave that feeling of achievement. Difficult. I think instead I might be better off with a list of "strong intentions".

1. Paper Dolls
I want mine to have a different motif and sleeves though.

I have played with a cheshire cat motif....not sure.

2. Harvest Moon
I pretty much like this the way it is.

3. Buttony Sweater
I have twice cast this on and twice frogged it. I think it's the yarn - I haven't found the right yarn for it yet. I really like this one:

4. Circles Cardigan
This is to be like the socks I've been making.

But with the pattern on the yoke and tops of the sleeves like this one I made aeons ago and have worn consistently ever since.

5. Spode Jumper
My Mum has all this blue and white spode china which is just beautiful. One of the saucers inspires me.

Over christmas I'll be charting this for a fairisle jumper. That's the plan anyway.

I think that's enough. I don't want to get carried away and convince myself that 12 sweaters in a year is achievable.

I got my first christmas present last night - a copy of the Quantum Mechanics book I blogged about before. That's my holiday reading sorted! Which reminds me - if you are not aware of Knitting on the Green I would go there. As well as gorgeous knitting and crafting Liz does excellent book reviews. I've read a couple this year on the back of her recommendations.

But Why Not?

A couple of years ago I went to a kind of general wellbeing fair with my sister. There were gurus and coaches and motivators aplenty. I had a freebie 5 minutes with a career coach.

She asked me to think of my ideal job and of course (of course) I talked about knitting and pattern designing and dyeing and accessories and so on. "But" I said "there's no money in it."

"Do you know anyone who does make a living from it?" She asked me.
"Oh yes, lots of people." I said.
"So...why couldn't you earn a living from it?"

Of course (of course) I know it's not that easy and that if it were we would all be doing it. But...

I keep thinking there is no money in writing patterns - even while I am paying to download the occasional one from Ravelry. I have written patterns - they are on Ravelry and one even has 332 likes and has been made 54 times. I made this cardigan a while ago.

Yeah, I look kind of ill. I was quite mental around then. BUT the point is I was going to write up the pattern. I don't think I could remember it now. And I used to make stitchmarkers. And I sold them. People bought them I mean. I didn't just list them on etsy. Why did I stop doing that?

Over christmas I have printed a couple of things to take to Mater's so I can design a jumper and cardigan while I am down there. I am definitely going to keep notes as I go along so I can share them, even if it is just for free on this blog. I know it's a long way from casually writing up a pattern to earning a living but then from tiny seeds do giant vegetables grow...

As I type I am being taunted by the wholesome smells emanating from my slow cooker. I cannot recommend these strongly enough. Less than half an hour in the morning and by evening a delicious meal without any stirring, turning, adjusting etc. Plus if you are single you can make batches and then freeze portions for other days. Definite bonus. At the moment I have Irish Stew in progress using some of the chicken stock I made using my slow cooker 2 weeks ago.

A lot of people seem to have one but are not sure where to start. There are a zillion recipes online but I would recommend this book:

It's very cheap and quite small but really does explain the basics as well as having yummy recipes. The irish stew is from there and I've made loads of others in the past.

In love...

I adore this pattern. It makes any self-patterning yarn look spectacular. I've made it twice for other people but never for myself. Having fallen for this yarn (Opal) in Iknit I knew the two were meant to be together. Loving it. I've been thinking of making a cardigan with the top third in this pattern like this one. Only without the nine freakin' dollars spent on the pattern. $9! For one pattern? Bleh.

Meanwhile I have a few more photos of the Santa Run...

I was thrilled to see on Twitter that Yarn Yard's Natalie has started Couch to 5K too. She says I inspired her and I was in turn inspired by another knitter. Aren't knitters great!?

Yesterday I took Gordon to a lecture of sorts by TV grinner Prof Brian Cox and his colleague Jeff Forshaw about their new book.

It was very interesting and I definitely want to read the book now. Hopefully I'll get it for xmas! The day had already been fairly awesome before we got to the South Bank for the lecture. Having got there early we had a good look round the christmas market and...what I've been wanting to do for weeks since I saw one outside the NHM...

You may have your whirlygigs and rollercoasters but give me a good old fashioned Carousel and I'm a happy bunny. Flash seemed to enjoy it too...

Adrift

Erm. You know after your divorce comes through?

What are you supposed to do then?

DB just texted to ask me how I was feeling.

I dunno.

On the 3rd day of christmas...

Today was the day of the big race.

My friend Steve had also agreed to do it and was running despite an ankle injury.

We were supported by my lovely bf and a number of other santas and their families. I think there were about 200 of us all together.

Flash took most of the photos so these are just a couple from my phone, but it was pretty awesome even though the first half was UPHILL! I have carefully mapped my runs to date so that they are on level ground so that was a bit of a shocker. But still, a mere 40 minutes after starting I was back again and medalled up. Oh yeah. AND we raised £155 - thanks to everyone who sponsored me and plenty of time left if you still want to. Click here for the JustGiving page.

I got home a little while ago utterly exhausted and a bit cold to find the Decree Absolute waiting for me. For those lucky people among you not up on divorce jargon - the decree nisi is permission from the Court to get divorced after they have accepted your evidence. The decree absolute is when the marriage is formally dissolved.

So for the first time since 1st August 2007 I'm single. I'll be honest - it's a bit weird.

Spinneroonie

One of the WWE Smackdown commentators is called Booker T. He used to wrestle and now commentates. His celebratory move was the spinneroonie.

Now I've got my own spinneroonie.

Only a few so far but it just goes to show what a difference a day makes. I was totally against the yarn I'd got for my new afghan last week. This week I'm all about it. I am firmly committed to crocheted afghans. I would love to do a Curve of Pursuit but it's knitting. Something about that just seems wrong.

The final fabric for my sister's wedding quilt arrived. It is one I created on Spoonflower and I'm rather happy with it.

It means I can start sewing and dutifully have. Rather exciting to be so far ahead of schedule for once. Naturally it won't last but, well, there you go.

So apart from all that how are things? It was a very busy week at work last week. 2 days in Manchester was particularly hard not just with the work being challenging but also because of that being Pooch's homeground. Every female voice reminded me painfully of the mother-in-law and sisters-in-law I've lost. Then when I got back Pooch rang me to say my father-in-law had had a heart attack AND had pneumonia. He went into hospital on Monday when I was actually in Manchester and could have done...something...I dunno. Pooch tells me he is improving but it's horrible to be at such a remove. I've written but it's just not the same.

To lighten the mood I am finally going to have a go at making raspberry marshmallow. The first time I was just trying for plain marshmallow and it went fairly horrible. This time I have a sugar thermometer so am slightly more hopeful. You can be sure I'll post the results here.

Catch Up

It's been one of those stop and start weeks. I decided I don't like the fairisle hat I knitted a few years ago so I cast on another one but the yarn (King Cole Moods 25% wool) is feeling a bit plasticy. I'm carrying on but may just give it to charity. I'm having the same issue with my afghan. I've got the yarn but have decided I'm not so keen on the feel of it. Then I also started this panel to be the front pocket of the apron I'm making my mater.

But I stopped again because I'm not sure the black of the jug looks right. Mum has a coffee pot just like that (sans face) but it's brown.

I quite enjoyed doing the flowers though.

I woke up at half 5 as per this morning and instead of going running made a wire hair stick pin.

Been wearing it all day and is pretty good. I used all the 1.5mm wire I had on it so have ordered some more. May add beads to the rest. I also made a necklace (all this pre 7am) which I've also been wearing all day but have decided I'm not keen on.

One thing I am keen on is this.

Love socks - free on Ravelry.

Work has been its usual self. The boys and I have been exchanging abusive post-its, the top one of which reads "Your mother rang" and then the second one has the message she supposedly left. I shan't share as my mum might read it. She would not be happy. I had to get a bit heavy with them at once point and so transformed into "Byrne with the Fist of Fury".

It was very effective right up to the moment where Jonesy peered at my fist and said "Does that say furry?". Kind of diminished the effect.

It is when I have most on my mind that I have least to say

My mind goes round and round so much I feel like I'm in the centre of my own little tornado. 

I felt like if I'd got on this Carousel (outside the Natural History Museum) I might have caught it up and had a moment of relative stillness. I *really* wanted to go on it. But felt I was too old and childless to actually do it. 

Big stuff makes little stuff seem rather pointless and not worth talking about. 

Hitchin a Ride on the Bandwagon

I have joined the Hitchhiker craze.

I duly paid my 2.50 Euros and as with thousands before me have been impressed with the simplicity of the concept. The yarn is one I picked up at the weekend in some unplanned stash enhancement. You see the tiny sequins?

So freaking sparkly! Once I've worn the Hitchhiker a few times and verified non-itchyness I may invest in a jumper's worth. SO FREAKING SPARKLY! There are times when the science and wrestling goes out the window and I turn into full on girly girl. This yarn is one such time. It is King Cole Galaxy and here on Ravelry.

My week off is almost at an end and I haven't done quite as much as I'd hoped to but at the same time I've had a good and stress free time. I now have almost all the fabric I need for my sister's wedding quilt and so the next stage is starting to cut the squares. I've also got some new clothes and a pair of glittery (SPARKLY) flat lace-ups to face the world in. After my last post I frogged...

• A cotton cardigan, complete bar half a sleeve
• Half a sock
• Half a top (up to the underarm point)

I also took a doomed jumper I'd been knitting and did a bit of fiddling (ripped a few rows and then cast off) to turn it into a rather lovely cowl. Having cast it off I can now see that had I continued the jumper would have been big enough for Bigfoot but the circumference goes nicely round the neck without quite reaching my knees so can be looped round up to three times to keep the Byrne neck cosy. 

As well as dealing with UFOs I also cast off a project I only started last month - the Pinery Jumper. I had swatched and washed and blocked the swatch (very rare for me) having read something about the behaviour of the yarn but was still very unsure when the jumper measured just 19" from neck to bottom. 

Post blocking it is still drying but is now a more suitable 26" long and looking very promising. The yarn is a wool/alpaca blend so it should come in very handy as the nights get snugglier. 

One last sparkly photo:

UFOs Hang Round my Neck like Dead Albatross

I googled to see what the plural of Albatross is. Opinions are varied. I've gone with the above.

According to Ravelry I have 15 WIPs or UFOs. However, I feel sure the truth is more like 20 since there are some I enthuse over so briefly they never even make it on there. Some have been UFO for years. YEARS! Every time I start something new I feel guilt at not finishing them. This clearly cannot continue. Let the ripping commence.

In other news I made Flash a pillow to commemorate his return from 3 weeks in Zambia for work.

He is partial to dinosaurs and it was he who introduced me to the interrobang. Someone asked me what we had in common. Those of you who know me off screen will know I am not renowned for my tan. This is Flash after 3 weeks in 35+ degrees.

Note the ghostly glow? Together we look like Sheamus's legs. This is Sheamus:

He is actually known on WWE as "The Great White".

This week is a staycation (ghastly word but if it's good enough for The Royals it#s good enough for me). Yesterday was housework and making the pillow. Today was appointments and a rummage around east london. Tomorrow I am going to be concentrating on fabric for my sister's wedding quilt. It's a project I shall have to conduct on Ravelry to keep it away from her beady gaze but one which I am looking forward to. The rest of the week promises a day of museums, a day of baking and possibly one of pampering depending on how the finances are looking. That may end up being a staypamper though. Something I feel certain the Royals have never dabbled in.