Strike 2!

PSst, I wrote this yesterday because I actually am busy today. So much to read.....

So guess what? No internet at home. It didn’t work *shock*. But after all I have just started a new job (day 2 and counting) and so it’s not like I have any actual work to do yet or anything. In fact people keep asking me how it’s going and I keep saying ‘fine’ but actually I don’t see what I’m supposed to fill my time with. The stuff he asked me ‘to start investigating’ I wrapped up this morning with about 2 hours of googling and some well placed emails. And he seems rather over-worked to talk to me much. Plus the whole point of the job is that I am a self-starter so really I shouldn’t be abusing the IT facilities by just randomly writing my blog in a word document while it might look like I’m working. A*n*y*w*a*y….

So yes, knitting huh? Actually let me get a grip because I did go to knitting group last night in lovely golders green and had a ball. Nikki gave me the full rundown on sugar and why byrne-must-not-eat-it and she actually made it make sense and made it seem practical. Anyone wanting any nutrition advice go seek her out. Laura was there just being lovely as always. Julie has kicked her husband out, her daughter is now a crochet and knitting master (mistress?) despite abhorring the sight of her mum knitting up to about a month ago. Liz was on good post-wedding form. Joanne and the two women who’s names I can’t remember were there too and also f.a.b.. Feel like I’ve forgotten someone but not sure who. Anyway – I learnt bucketloads, and not just about sugar. Woo ha! It was basically a good evening because earlier on I had met up with lovely friend Louise and given her the curlywhirly scarf I made in james c brett marble and it looked wonderful on her and she seemed to really love it. She has asked for another in peacock blue and I admit I just happened to be on the woolly workshop website earlier and just happened to spot some cherry tree hill in a shade called ‘peacock’ and might have just happened to have bought a skein. Bad byrne but then she is my bestest friend and I’ll love doing it for her knowing that she’ll love receiving it.

Have been thinking many crafty thoughts recently – a lot of which revolve around fimo clay. Making crochet hook ends out of it. Covering cutlery handles with it. Fashioning circs with it (darling Pooch bought me some dowel rod as a kiss-and-make-up-present so I will be able to get going on my large, short circ experiment). Basically going to be a fimo weekend (I haven’t forgotten SP5 that I promised you a knitting badge from the next batch too!).

So anyway….my little sister who is 17 came and stayed the night with a 14 year old girlie mate on tues and do you know what? Neither of them had ever seen an episode of the A-team, or Dallas! How is it possible to live like that? I was trying to explain something to them and found we basically had no cultural references in common (yes, the A-team is cultural by god). They just didn’t do the 80’s at all and now they keep saying words I don’t know and everything is ‘random’ and there are specific groups of people. Chavs I knew about, pikeys I had heard of, but emo’s? Apparently they wear drainpipe trousers but there’s more to it than that and I just don’t get it. It was on this visit that the scales fell from her eyes and I have been unmasked as the ‘totally not cool older sister’ that I always feared I was.

OK, two more things. One: I got heavily into making stitch markers again but check out these little darlings….

I got the beads from ebay (where else?) and they are little glass cats. Got a couple of other things from her actually. If I can find the seller ID I will link to it but no promises. I have bought some leather cord or thong or whatever it is so I can wear them like a necklace pendant. They are just so cute.

And the second thing? No, I can't go on. Fatigue hits again. Will keep you guessing....

Pictures!

Pooch and I have just had another loving conversation that ended in swear words so I have exiled myself to the spare room and decided to blog my little heart out – for – friends – I have managed to coordinate laptop-at-home-with-camera-and-found-cable-and-have-downloaded-photos-so-can-load-them-up-tomorrow-at-work. Woo ha!

So where was I? Of course, the amazing ally pally. I seriously loved that show. I kept within budget and everything and everything I did there was fun fun fun. I started off on Thursday on the Relax and Knit stand. In fact I started there but by the time the show started I was looking after Silkwood’s stand as Les, Tess and Nic were all caught in traffic. So that was fun (and later earned me a discount on the spellbound bead co stand!). They all arrived in time poor things and started doing things properly so I beetled back to Yvonne and did a swatch in the splash stuff in rowan’s new range. I am seriously happy I never bought even one ball of this to try.
The splashy stuff is only on one side of the yarn and it really is very acrylicy. Just not good so let’s not talk about that again.

The number of pics I actually took there comes to a grand total of…..two. Yes, folks, not one, but two. The first was of Liz’s gorgeous mask that she was exhibiting on one of the stands.

And the second was of three girls in the queue for the toilet. You see they all looked so fabulous and I know they look like Sloane rangers in the making but they were actually very nice and bubbly and just looked so fabulous and exotic.

I spent hours wandering round and talking to people and bumping into lots of people I knew from blogging or other knitting events. I looked at *everything* and bought bits of almost all of it. Want to see the whole haul? Well, wait no longer….

When I first laid out this lot I just stood there and looked at it all. In fact I think ‘gloating’ is the word. I would occasionally move forward and touch something or pick something up and then carefully put it back again. This went on for quite a while. I even negotiated an evening of having it all on the table overnight with Pooch. So let’s have a look at it in more detail. Starting from the bucket shaped bag at top left…

I saw this bag last year at AP on one of the stalls and have spent a lot of time since then lamenting the fact I didn’t buy one. Can you make out all the pockets? There are tonnes. All over the outside and layered up and more inside – perfect for putting all sorts of silly things in. So what this means is that I now have a knitting bag. Yippeee! The little pots in front are red, yellow and blue kemtex acid dyes. Ooooh yeah Nickerjac, here I come in the whole dyeing thing! Have tried them out all ready but more of that later! Next we move round in a clockwise direction to….sock wool!

You can blame webof wool and Sue at …goddamn forgotten it’s name but they do lorna laces and cherry tree hill. Oooooo lovely stuff. Got some more of the Louisa Harding ribbon there too. Thinking ‘hat’ but not sure which one. And then on to….Colinette!

Yes, the Giotto got me at last. But I am really not going to attempt the colinette stand again at AP as talk about ‘scrum’. Quite nuts. Got two skeins in the monet and another one in creams and reds. Both fabulous and both crying out for me to finish the xmas knitting so I can get the hell on with stuff I actually want to do.

These are the lovely little clover bits I treated myself to. I have never actually had any clover accessories before so splurged on the chubi darning needle holder as I keep losing mine when they’re loose and a button making kit. Thing is these packets of buttons were all £4 on each stand but then was on the KCG website the other day and saw them for £3.20 and that’s pre-discount. Dear little KCG. I really must use them more. And on we go to….buttons!

I *love* buttons. No seriously. I really love buttons. I got all these ones and have been enjoying their loveliness ever since. I need to think of more to do with buttons. I just love buttons. Buttons, Mmmmm. Then…actually do you know those places where you buy something and then you try and go back there later you can’t find it? Terry Pratchett always descriobes them as ‘travelling shops’ and apparently the owner has been cursed by a wizard to potter about in time and space until something or other is in stock. That bis exactly how I would describe the Japanese fabric stall.


I got three fat quarters and here you get a better (?why?) view of the dyes as well. No, I don’t know what I’m going to do with them but I am sure something will occur to me. You can also see some of the magazines in the top left corner of that picture. I got two sandra’s and have taken out a three month subscription on the back of them. I have seen Sandra before and quite like the patterns (although admittedly am yet to knit something from one – hence only a three month sub as I want to see whether I’m getting anything from them.)

So is that it….? No wait, check out this bad boy.

A skein winder. And a really nice one too. New, wooden and spins like a dream – very balletic. And did I get any use out of it….well let me tell you!

22 balls later and I was done. So many skeins and all went so quickly and smoothly. Can’t believe I ever managed without one in the past. Combined with my ebay ball winder I was unstoppable. It was all getting a bit manic and obviously went to my head with the obvious result.

OK, am knackered and sure you can’t be arsed to read anymore so more another day….

Remember me?

I know I keep saying ‘normal service will be resumed shortly’ but Pooch tells me it is definitely next Thurs. I am so dispirited though because just to compound my misery the bloody camera cable has now legged it to parts unknown so even if I bring the cemra to work I can’t get the photos from ally pally off it to put up. WOE IS FRICKING ME etc etc

So instead of talking about how cool knitting is I am going into an aside – what you might call a

Health Warning

Calling all people who believe what nutritionists say…Carob bars taste worse than anything you can imagine. No, Mr whatever, they do not taste like chocolate. They are gross, disgusting, inedible, manky, horrible, abhorrent, abominable, appalling, awful, beastly, detestable, disagreeable, dreadful, execrable, frightful, ghastly, grim, grisly, gruesome, heinous, hideous, horrendous, horrid, loathsome, lousy, lurid, nasty, obnoxious, offensive, repellent, repulsive, revolting, scandalous, shocking, terrible, terrifying, ungodly, unholy, unkind (see dictionary.com for more suitable alternatives).And they aren’t even cheap. I got mine on ebay as no health shop had them and they were about £1.20 each. Uuuuuurrgghhhhh. Yuk.

I have decided to get quite into hats – knitted or crocheted naturally. And so have become very fond of this website. Number 7 particularly takes my fancy. I think it is because it looks mitred and all things mitred are attracting me at the moment.

OMG do you know what I’ve forgotten to say….SkipNorth is live and waiting for you. Plus there’s an ad going into SlipKnot so if you are hoping to come along book quick or I am afraid you might miss it. It’s going to be A*W*E*S*O*M*E though I say so myself!

My poor secret pal is neglected in both directions. I haven't been bigging up the person spoling me half as much as they deserve and I haven't even managed to post my first parcel off to my actual pal yet. But getting to the first person first - secret pal I love you. You know that book about dyeing (with an 'e')? I am on a second reading as I intend to put the kemtex acid dyes I bought at AP to good use this weekend. I have red, yellow and blue so am thinking of some sort of red/blue mix as I always seem to do red/yellow. I have the lovely wool my sp gave me too and...you know this mitred thing? Well I've got an idea for a felted mitred bag. Yeah baby. I'd say I'll put a photo up to let you know how it goes but I don't want to make empty promises.

*sob* Headline shock - Byrne still deprived of internet by no-good-Pooch

When I do finally get internet at home I hope you all realise I ahve about 30 photos to blog and they're all good ones so you'd better book a day's leave or something to get trhough that post.

Alexandra Palace was awesome. I know I have a tendancy to overuse this word but it really was tremendous. And even better I get to go back there tomorrow with ma mere et ma souer pour une bonne vacance mange tout mange tout. I'm not going into how much I spent but let us just say it was less than Miss Ruth was planning and was in budget! But I have never been so satisified with a shopping trip in my life. You knwo sometimes when you blow a load of doshy at an anticipated occasion you get back after and think..."Is that all I got?" (I do this all the time - I have long believed there are pixies stealing my money out of my wallet whenever I venture out on a shopping trip) Anyway this was definitely not that. Every item I got out of my 'Mojos baddass knitting' shopping bag was as wonderful as the last and I sat there gloating over the haul for ages after I got home. I'll write a fuller report once the pictures can accompany the narrative.

There have been a couple of other things going on chez-byrne during the news blackout - Pooch has got a passport and the holiday to Paris is booked for 5th Nov for 5 nights via eurostar including one day at eurodisney as I've never been to a disney attraction. And people, you don't need to tell me about the yarn shops - I'm heavily into my research. Pooch has started some online french course on ordering food except that when he was taught french at school he had the broad mancunian accent Oxford robbed him of. So now whenever he says anything in French there is this amazing manc/french fusion and he sounds a bit like a fast show sketch. I always loathed french at school but haveretained a fair bit and as long as I'm not asked to remember genders or verb declination I can generally get by. Have some french knitting patterns so must practice on those as well.

I got my start date for the new job - 26th Oct so that's good. Just a load of stuff to sort now before I move to an as yet undesignated desk. I compromised on the salary a little bit following gaining written certainties about the MBA. It won't be 'the cheapest' course I have to do and I'll get study leave when reasonable so I'm happy. It's still a 10% rise but sadly I'm not earning more than Pooch although probably that's just as well as that was causing him one or two problems in the macho-area.

I'm surethere is more that has happened but can't think off hand so let's end there. I still have a zillion UKHK emails to read plus, hold the phone, (do I mean hold the phone? I don't think so but you know what I mean - I am trying to convey drama....) I am off to see a nutritionist at 2.30. I know this is going to be a substitute-chocolate-with-cabbage moment so I have proudly eaten a very satisying bag of revels as my swan song. Anyway, I will let you know how that goes too.

And finally.......I'm really sorry I haven't been getting round to read others blogs for the last few weeks and so have been absent from comment boards. I have been too busy to do it at work (not that I ever would, oh no, not me) and with no home web it's left me missing all your news. I'm going to have abig catch up any day now, just you wait. OK Ok I'm definitely going now. Geez.

So where the hell have I been?

Well I’ll tell you. I’ve been in no-ninternet-land for what seems like years. I have been too busy to blog and too busy to even check my emails so apologies to those of you who have not heard from me. I have also been too busy still to put my photos on a computer so am still pissing you all off with a pictureless post. As a make-up-don’t-break-up effort I am supplying some websites which have recently come to my attention. It all started with My Cat Hates You which is a true representation of the cat psychology. It went on to Stuff on my Cat and has since degenerated into Cats in Sinks and now Kitten War. I promise you it can not get lower than this. Although I do not promise to keep that promise.

Have just been to a bar to meet a friend for lunch. He’s all down cause of various stuff but also managed to be late which meant I was already one cocktail up when he got there and then ordered another while we were waiting for food (fishfinger sandwich – The Social on Little Portland Street, W1 is the best place for chilling and eating while taking a pause from Oxford Street). So am now a leetle bit pissed. Now you know me, I don’t enjoy hearing about other people being drunk but I am actually quite enjoying this. You see Narinder’s back and so the pressure is off and it looks like the new job will start in about 2 weeks so everything is tickety boo except for this cough/cold combo I’ve got going on. But it’s not incapacitating me and healthwise everything else seems hunky.

Went to a wedding at the weekend. Actually you know let’s just skip to the end of this story and say the groom is being operated on today to properly close his artery and try to rejoin the tendons in his hand. Because as sad and worrying as that was something even more monumental happened on the train back – and this goes to show the skewed way I now view life. ONE OF MY DENISE NEEDLE CABLES SNAPPED. And I mean it just broke where the little black bit is supposed to sink into the blue cabley bit. And I was right in the middle of a row on an aran jumper and so have now lost a load of twists. Am well annoyed. But seem to remember those bad boys come with a lifetime guarantee so will be getting that replaced asap. Apart from that I am totally in love with my denise’s and it’s almost like straights are a thing of the past. Circular is now my default.

Did I even post a comment about my SP sending me the wickedest parcel ever? I can’t remember – yes memory still slightly screwed. But she did and may get some pictures up here sometime before the end of the year. Plus my SP recipient has surfaced and will be receiving a parcel shortly after ally pally.

OMG ally pally is so soon! Am really looking forward to it. Anyway, all this concentrating is making my eyes wobble. Just going to go and have a little lie down under my desk….weeebl weeble…

The film Hell Boy and its impact on my life

I am sure you are all as aware of the film ‘Hell Boy’ as I am so you’ll know what I mean when I talk about the voice over summary at the end of the film when the young guy who wanted the girl observes Hell Boy getting her instead. It starts something like “What makes a man a man?” and continues not too badly for another paragraph or so. Getting to the point I feel like this blog entry is that voice over at the end of my film by which statement you might correctly surmise I didn’t have the best weekend and am now feeling quite self-indulgent and sorry for myself.

You see it has come to my attention that there is really no point telling someone about ‘what happened’ because you’ll only get one version and bits get left out and you don’t see the context or precedent. So as the picture fades and the voiceover starts up….”What makes a relationship work? Alex doesn’t know and this would explain why she has moved into the spare room” And that’s all I’m bothering to say.

Now I could start this next bit “And these things always seem to happen when I’m supposed to cut down my meds” and then that makes me sound like I’m totally kidding myself and it’s all me getting grumpy-type-side-effects and poor-pooch-doesn’t-he-put-up-with-a-lot. But. Although I did start reducing medication yesterday, all of what I’m not talking about happened before this could have had any effect. But the fact remains I did start reducing meds yesterday and so could have done without it all anyway. And furthermore. Because I have started reducing I am now all uptight about having those naughty thoughts that involve dressing gown cords and large expanses of water and…jesus…how long has it been since I didn’t wake up feeling tired? Madness got really bad around dec 03, was kicking off before then…..so that would be about 2 years. I have felt tired for two years and it’s not like I even had a kid or anything.

So to summarise
1. There is still no phone or internet at the flat-of-fun hence irregular blogging and lack of pictures.
2. I’m really fricking tired
3. I am sleeping in the spare room
4. I feel the level playing field that is life tilting – I am back walking uphill when it would be so much easier to just roll back down into the darkness.

5. Stupid films have a place in society as cultural reference points

But seriously...

....how passive are some people? Sit there and complain about something not happening to you but don't do anythign to actually make it happen. Yes folks, that's right, I have been at the investors in people steering group this morning. Give me strength. Plus the staff association is at this very minute having a general meeting about me sacking Luke except they're not allowed to talk about particular cases so it's all done with winks and nods. Am so tempted to go down there and silence the conversation by walking in - I am a member after all.

I was just sitting here for a second thinking...what was I going to type next? When I remembered....short-term memory loss. Now this is serious - I am genuinely not joking. I'm on a high dose of anti-d's now and one of the possible side-effects at this dosage is short-term memory loss. At first Pooch thought I was just being ditzier than usual but it's definitely got loads worse during the last fortnight so I spoke to Dr P yesterday and he has told me to cut down the meds starting from sunday. Am a bit nervous (when I remember) as it was cutting down last time that caused me to have another episode. Pooch is actually being very nice about it and patiently reminding me that I have forgotten things (Like when I had a go at him for inviting all his mates round to watch football when he'd asked me if it was OK the day before and reminded me that morning.)

Before I depart - woo ha secret pal!!!! Another chcolate lolly through the post today - "I think this thing needs eating" is written on the front and it is of Dylan from the Magic Roundabout. The thing is I am assuming it was my pal because there was no note. God, one thing I had forgotten was my lovely SP5 who sent me some lovely yarn in the post as well as some beautiful cards. She is Meg from DivaKnits. She has been ultra fab so many thanks xxxx I will write to you properly once I have more time and will post a pic of the yarn as soon as I find my camera again!

The person I was spoiling was Filomena. I really enjoyed sending stuff to her and am hoping to have as much fun with my next Pal, although so far she hasn't responded to a couple of emails, a blog comment and hasn't put the questionnaire on her blog. Am hoping she is OK.

Phew

Well the removal men didn't turn up (Aussie man in a van - we thought it would be funny but wasn't.....at all) so we ended up with a different company whose name I shall praise as soon as I remember it. They arrived at 45 mins notice and asked for less than the odious aussies although we gave them the same as they were so lovely. Did mean our schedule got messed up so oinly just finished cleaning on time to hand over keys on the friday - was EXHAUSTED.

New place is wonderful and excellent and have photos but have left them at home. The only photo I have for now is one of the poster we made on the train when Denning, Paul, Sian, Brown and I went to see WWE in Birmingham. OK, photo doesn't want to load. Anyway...

Off to dinner with cousin Mike over from the states tonight. Have secured Pooch's presence by making the venue "Winkles" - the supreme fish restaurant bizarrely situated about 10 mins walk from bethnal green station. Denning is coming too and I intend to pig out on prawns and garlic! hahahaha. Smell me later dudes.

Rediscovering WWE - the build up

I wrote a long great post yesterday and it all got eaten by blogger. Hmph. So here I go again...

I had a lovely day with Nickerjac yesterday and got to stroke some serious cat and look at bunnies and admire some amazing wool in the most stunning shades. Every day brings me closer to ally pally and my have-to-have-it list is getting longer. I also got to do some spinning but was quite bummerd that I've lost my knack. The one on the right is the second attempt and is a bit better.

Actually I really like the one on the right. Aha ha ha.

So anyway...onto the title of the post. You see I have discovered a new magazine..."Power Slam". Yeah baby. And let me sum this magazine review up by showing you the cebtrefold, Batista.

Pooch is shaking his head with incomprehension as I type. But I just love wrestling. It's now just 3 days til we move and I get one step closer to WWE on tap by gaining Denning as a neighbour. We have already arranged to watch sunday's pay-per-view on Thursday night. Yeah baby.

So i got the job - did I mention that over the weekend? But the salary is yet to be set plus Narinder is off on sick leave for another 2 weeks as her feet haven't healed (bunions) and John can't start his rearranging until she is back and definitely staying. If she leaves it all goes to pot.

So doubt I'll be posting again til next weekend as have so much packing and work to do this week. Have fun peeps - I'll be back from Canada Water.

Want to buy a flat in Stratford?

Whatever you do, do not buy this one....although note the artistic array of tampons in the bathroom - all my own work you know. I went to art college....

Yes somewhere along the way the landlord came in and took photos without our permission. The thing that bothers me is certain features that have not been mentioned but help contribute to the 'luxury' feel of this flat.

• The lift has been broken for more than a week. When working it contains rubbish and mud.
• The stairs you use instead of the lift have luxury footprints all over the walls, rubbish and mud on them. If you venture down to the 'lower ground floor' you will find...
• Stinking rubbish left outside where the lift should open. Loads of it. This is here because....
• The drains all flooded about 4 months ago and never got sorted out. The bit that floods most regularly is where the bins are. It is possible the drains flooded because they were blocked up with....
• Dead rats the size of Colin's puppies. What kind of a place is too unhealthy for rats to live in?
• Moving back to the flat you have the 'luxury' surroundings of south africans in the flat below who fancy the eastern europeans on the ground floor who have a small garden below the 'balcony' (replace with 'big window'). This results in much shouting, screaming, bellowing as they communicate via a series of primitive 'ugh' s. Both groups are also friends with the greeks upstairs although the greeks favour europop, the south africans favour shite heavy metal and the eastern europeans favour maria carey. They selflessly take great lengths to give the neighbourhood the chance to enjoy their music too - often all at the same time.
  
• Then there's the flat next door with their luxury 'blood-splatter-on-the-wall' lifestyle. Lost your keys? Don't worry. Your luxury neighbours will help you break in with their tool of choice, a saw, and then share with you the secrets of stealing electricity from the concierge's supply.
  
• Did I say concierge? Ah, let me introduce you to an ever changing random stream of people who are rarely found in their office but are more frequently found on the end of a mobile with curiously authentic pub noises in the background. But never fear, should your neighbour's door be kicked in, the glass in the door in your hall have two massive holes bashed through it, blood splatter on your walls, the concierge will jump to reluctantly admit something might have happened and get round to thinking about sorting out the blood three days later and will respect the tenant's rights to privacy by not calling the police or getting involved in any way.
  

Do I sound bitter? Hmmmm, four more days then we're out of here. But look at the price - £270k odd. For that amount you get all this nastiness which you can bet the estate agent won't think to mention. How on earth can you buy a house or flat with any confidence now a days?

Anyway, we will be at Iceland Wharf from Thursday. Thank god.

On my mission to reduce my WIPs. I finished the 'y', ripped the ghastly sock, ripped the gone wrong mitred square and am about half way through it's successor. Also managed to finish the bottom rib on rob's aran - that is going to be a monster of a jumper. The wool is quite coarse in that it's not merino smooth but it's knitting up really nicely. I would post a picture but....frankly...it's just 14 rows of rib. Will post once I get cabling.

WIP reality check

1. 2 lines of rib on rob's aran jumper
2. Y square for sian's shawl
3. Horrible purple and green sock that needs ripping.
4. Mitred square for mystery afghan that also needs ripping - fucking thing (pardon my swearing but I loathe that colour now!)
5. Castoff knitted flower garland
6. Kaffe Fasset v-neck front and back
7. red, orange, yellow sock
8. Brown's scarf

OK, this is too many.

Mission: Finish at least 5 of these before ally pally.

Lessons in life

1. Do not go and see 'On the Ceiling'. Excuse me but didn't someone use the word 'comedy' to describe it? Have laughed more at funerals.
2. Do not go out with a Pooch.
3. If going out with a Pooch leave spare bedding outside bedroom door and baracade previously mentioned door when he goes out on the lash.
4. Make it understood that the maximum amount of drivel tolerated on returning in the small hours is 2 minutes.
5. Be polite yet firm on the subject of being-sympathetic-when-Pooch-wakes-up-still drunk-yet-already-hungover.

So apart from all that I have apparently got the job. Vishanti against my direct wishes badgered sean about it on the way home and rang me as soon as he admitted it would be me. You see there was a leaving do and they had both sunk a couple of glasses of vino. So shouldn't I be jumping about and dancing from the rooftops? Well....it all seems a bit anticlimactic really. I guess the easy bit is now over - the harder bit will be a salary negotation, telling everyone, ignoring the whispers provoked by a second internal promotion in 3 years, and getting John to agree a finishing date for me to get shot of my current workload. Ho hum.

Have now done the s, i, a, n and almost finished the y for my sister's shawl. Just the b and o to go...and then all the other squares.

So, er, right, of yeah!

I knew i was blogging about something - SecretPal you've totally got my number. Guess what I got in the post this morning? A Galaxy bar. Yeah baby!!

Just as well as the old knitting isn't going too well. I decided to do a mitred square for my second secret afghan contribution and I am about half way through and sure enough there's about 30 stitches on one needles but about 40 on the other. How do these things happen? I did a few more rows thinking that pah, it would be fine, but no it really won't so it's for a ripping tomorrow.

Am off to the theatre, darling, tonight to see 'On the Ceiling' a new comedy with ralph little in one of the title rolls. Now I find the boy strangely attractive. But he's also very funny. This isn't a picture of him in the play - it's just a random picture I googled up. He was in the Royale Family and a load of other things.

Have been introduced to a new blog that I am sure loads of you will know about. It is StitchyMcYarnpants and seems very funny. Will add it to my list of preferred ones when I get a min.

Actually I'm ok now

Yeah sorry about that peeps. I had a bad day and you are all lovely but I am OK now. Just to show that I am strong (like a woman - that 'sure' advert had a huge effect on me). Remember this?

Well....Teva. I tried to knit your pattern. I tried to like the cardigan once you told me I needed 4 balls of wool at the same time but NO! Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha!


So anyway, moving on to other things....I was at AWE yesterday. That's the atomic weapons establishment to the uninitiated. Morally and ethically I don't have a problem with these places - partly because I am around them and their staff often and see the full range of things they do as well as the actual warheads and 'deaths per thousand population' that is actually a unit that exists in those spheres. So there I was and the security needed is tremendous. Security checks a month before you go there. Nothing electrical on site in case you record something. You want to park your car - are you insane? Bag checks, body scans Etc etc. So I got there yesterday and the woman asked me if I had my phone and I handed it over. And then, I leaned forward....I looked to the left and right with a quick flick of my eyes. I beckoned her closer and whispered, nay, murmered in her ear...."I also have knitting needles". Because you can't take them on planes so I'm thinking places that make nuclear bombs won't allow them. The woman looked me straight in the eye and said "As long as you promise not to stab anyone" and let me in. With my weapons of mass construction. So there you go.....planes - no, atomic weapons - yes.

Anyway, one can't spend the whole day with weapons so I spun off to john lewis in reading and got these two.

I must have seen them both before but can't remember. Am quite looking forward to seeing the debbie bliss knitted up.

So this brings me onto my final point with no connection to what I've just been talking about. Those with shakey nerves look away now. Because we're going to talk about pants, knickers, undies - call them what you will. Now what I want to know is - has anyone ever found a comfortable thong or g-string? Is it too much to ask? I actually gave quite a lot of thought to this yesterday when I went in search of such an item. Actually I was going to post a photo here of what I ended up with but that's really one of those 'need to know' things so have stopped myself. I have been pondering the making of pants ever since I saw an article about making old t-shirts into undies. I am sure there must be a way of making custom size comfortable pants that are not a version of the old pantaloons. It's not like I enjoy looking like a piece of edam - it's just that a lot of my skirts and trousers 'hug' my posterior and I don't want to have a VPL. So anyway....Pants eh? What can you do? Watch this space for further developments.

(Yeah I know you can just do away with them a la Mr Pooch (too much info?!) but I am a laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaady and can not go around in such a way - i might get a chill in my kidneys as my mother has always warned me.)

Tagged

Been tagged....I'm not going to tag anyone else because I'm being miserable but feel free to consider yourself tagged if you want to join in.

TEN YEARS AGO: I had just started my final year at school and was all of a dither wondering what to do at University. I was very thin and wore very short skirts and dresses all secondhand from the local charity shops in Herne Bay. In a couple of months I will buy two jumpers from one such shop and the red one will become known as the ‘dead dog jumper that a tramp’s dog died in’ for no real reason.
FIVE YEARS AGO: I was about to start work here. I had spent a sunny month in Palo Alto with David and spent a lot of it contemplating suicide and being disappointed at what looked to me like the lack of height of golden gate bridge. I was working in a community service office in Archway spending my days behind bullet proof glass listening to criminals explain why they couldn’t turn up today. I was living in Harlesden and earning about £5 an hour.
ONE YEAR AGO: I was struggling with my recovery from the depression that put me in hospital 6 months earlier. I was going out with Pooch and we had had a very up and down summer with lots of arguments about holidays. I was living in Bethnal Green and was involved in recruiting the notorious Luke.
FIVE SNACKS: Pineapple, dark chocolate digestives, some form of chocolate bar, medjool dates, salted pretzels.
FIVE SONGS I KNOW ALL THE WORDS TO: Love Shack by the B52s, F*ck you by Dr Dre, The Funky Gibbon by the Goodies, Ain’t misbehaving by Fats Waller, Bohemian Rhapsody (of course) by Queen.
FIVE THINGS I WOULD DO WITH $100 MILLION: Stop doing the job I do. Travel the world for a couple of years – not rushing anywhere and starting on the south island of NZ, Get the lump of fat under my chin sucked, chopped or otherwise removed, get some handmade, comfort-guaranteed thongs/g-strings made (yet to find any that I can just forget about), pay someone to teach me how to use my knitting machine.
FIVE PLACES TO RUN AWAY TO: The sandy cliffs in Reculver, south island of NZ, that rockpool in Cornwall I’ve been thinking about loads recently, The Mucha Museum in Prague, The souks in Marrakesh.
FIVE THINGS I WOULD NEVER WEAR: Poncho, peddle pushers, open toe stiletto shoes, fur, blue tights.
FIVE FAVORITE TV SHOWS: Ultraviolet, silent witness, emmerdale (sad but true), Transworld sport on Sunday at 6.30am on channel 4, anything by WWE.
FIVE BIGGEST JOYS: Making something new and it working out, someone really liking a present I made them, when a plan comes together, having unexpected time by myself when I’ve got access to all my stuff and can do whatever I like, chocolate.
FAVORITE TOYS: Denise needles, Drop spindle, Internet, detective novels, koolaid.

Am actually quite down today. Felt amazingly annoyed this morning on the way to work. Had therapy at lunch and worked out that this was actually very healthy and that I had shed loads to be annoyed about. Pooch has been rather lack-lustre about the move and hasn't made any attempt to go and see the place. We just had another mini argument when I phoned him and asked him to pick up the parcels that are waiting for us with the concierge. He seems to think that counts as doing me a favour but one of them is the boxes for the move. He said something about the cricket and I asked him not to tell me because just the c word is becoming a flashpoint for me and he took no notice and bowled (fnah) straight into some run through of what has been going on. I couldn't give a shit. When I pointed out I had just asked him not to tell me and I'd been ignored he got moody. Therapist Louise voiced an umprompted opinion just at the end of our session that Pooch was displaying a lot of similar characteristics to Dad and speculated what signals I could be putting out to indicate I wanted to be treated as second place.

I'm so bloody bored of recovering. Look at that tag thing. A year ago I was where I am now having petty arguments with Pooch and 'recovering'. I'm on more medication now than when I left hospital so the 'recovering' looks set to continue for a heap longer. Marie is off the pills now, as are a lot of the others. Orna ended up needing EST and even she's OK now. Buggery fuck. Why don't I just sit here feeling sorry for myself?

Weekend round-up

Had a lovely weekend with mi muvver marred rather somewhat by the goddamnfucking cricket.

The weather was rather nice and fresh and a trip to minehead revealed the LYS.

Theresa, the owner, was having a bit of a sale/clear out so these balls were all under £1.50 each.

Yes, it is all synthetic but I'll be dyeing some of it and makign wedding decorations with some of the rest. There's nothing crazily interesting there but it was a good shop and the owner was really nice.


This is the view oput of my Mum's garden. Exmoor National Park and this is the view on a bad day. On a good day you can see the quantocks. There are horses, sheep, cattle, cats, bees, all sorts of wildlife. The air is fresh and grade 3/4 lichen grows on the trees in the garden. So Pooch spent most of the weekend indoors watching the cricket.

"Where's Wally?" Can you spot him? He's in the armchair. This caused one or two or more little fractious episodes. When the tv wasn't on the radio was. Even when there wasn't any play there was random babbling to be listened to. Anyway, that's in the past now. Pooch is taking the day off to watch the last day. I'm accepting the fact that he told me he couldn't take any more days off this year under any circumstances. It all meant I got a lot of knitting done.

For example this is an 's' from the simple knits for elegant babies or elegant knits for simple babies or whatever. I'm really loving them. I did the s, i, a and am almost done on the 'n'. You see the sister who does not know about this blog is called Sian and I'm going to do a bit of module magic with them and make them into a shawl - which is what she wanted.

I did mention there were cats in somerset and here is a prime example. Enter stage right Artemis Finn.

'Soppy' just doesn't begin to describe this cat. She hasn't got a mean bone in her body which is something for a cat because I have in the past generally admired them for their cutting sarcasm. Pooch is allergic though so I couldn't play with her much. She's not actually my Mum's - she's kind of catknapped her off her neighbour or in other words Artemis knows that if she comes round in the evenings she gets extra cat biscuits, milk, and a warm windowsill to snooze on.

So it was just about a good weekend although it was touch and go there for a while. I've got some blog reading to catch up on although I do see that nickerjac has spun some more stunning yarn. I feel strangely apprehensive today about work but I can't think why. I have therapy today but it's not that. There is a word that I have known in the past that means a feeling of calm before imminent catastrophe. I always default to fey but it's not that. Anyway, that's how I feel.

SP6 Questionnaire

1. Are you a yarn snob? Yes I guess . I prefer wool and cotton to acrylic mixes. 100% acrylic is a no-no.
2. Do you spin? Crochet? I do spin and love it! No crocheting.
3. Do you have any allergies? Lavender, bio washing powder.
4. How long have you been knitting? Can you knit in the womb?
5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list? No sorry.
6. What's your favorite scent? Vanilla
7. Do you have a sweet tooth? Yes! But no bits of nuts in the chocolate. I'm not allergic - I just don't like the combination.
8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do? I make stitch markers with wire and beads. Love spinning too. Have tried most things.
9. What kind of music do you like? Nothing in particular - all very random. I listen to lost of audio books of old style detective stories.
10. Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? No.
11. What's your favorite color? I love red. Most colours are good apart from dark blue.
12. What is your family situation? I have a boyfriend. No kids, yet! No pets either although I do love cats.
13. What are your life dreams? That office politics ceases to exist!
14. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with? Soft, chunky cotton.
15. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like? None - apart from acrylic. Well - cat/dog hair too.
16. What is/are your current knitting obsession/s? Making pom poms although I don't have a pompom maker yet. Hint hint!
17. What are your favorite item/s to knit? Socks maybe? Blanket sqaures as well. One day I'll have the biggest afghan ever!
18. What are you knitting right now? Kaffe fasset v-neck, socks, blanket squares, cardigan...yes, I have one or two things on the go.
19. What do you think about ponchos? No, no, no.
20. Do you prefer straight or circular needles? I am in love with my denise needles. It's double points that I loathe.
21. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic? Not fussed.
22. Are you a sock knitter? Yes - but on two straights. have tried all other methods and prefer this one.
23. How did you learn to knit? Mother
24. How old is your oldest UFO? Started it about 8 months ago - still gets a few rows done every now and again.
25. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird? Cats! especially Mr Tinkles from the film 'cats and dogs'
26. What is your favorite holiday? Christmas although I'nm not religous at all.
27. Is there anything that you collect? Everything, according to my boyfriend!
28. What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have? Interweave and am sorting one out for Vogue. I don't like the UK knitting mags.
29. Any books out there you are dying to get your hands on? Have just bought one online - can't think of any although I do love detective stories.
30. Any patterns you have been coveting, but haven't bought for one reason or another?? Nope...I am a bit obsessive about patterns. I hoard them but hardly ever knit from them.

But seriously folks...

I was going to post about how I'd been to VV Rouleaux yesterday and got dissed again by the sloan ranger on checkout. But then someone sent me this link. (TURN DOWN SOUND OR WEAR HEADPHONES). I followed another link and ended up at this blog.

http://www.20six.co.uk/BLACKRAT/

This guy is amazing. A really good writer (he seems to be a journalist) and thoughtful etc - I'm very taken with it. He's prompted me to order Tim Collin's Rules of Engagement and to look up the text of the speech he made to his men before the Iraq war started. Now I'm not a political person - I like my life to be easy and full of wool. But I have really enjoyed reading this guy's current posts and it reminds me that getting dissed by a sloan ranger is just so petty and boring. They're silly expensive anyway - much better to wait for ally pally.

In general I have been having a very boring time but am off to Mum's for R&R this weekend so won't be posting. Pooch has made her promise to let him watch cricket the whole time. I have my alphabet blanket although I'm still on the same letter. It's a xmas present so can't tell you which one but it will spell their name.

As evidence of my boring life (and in an effort to hold true to Nickerjac's rule about not posting without having something to show....behold my office.

This is the view from my corner. Note how I have highlighted the sheer volume of Samir's hair. I mean, is it actually illegal to take pics of people in your office without telling them? Anyway, to continue...

This is Vishanti. She's not actually hurt we were just mucking about with the old bandages they were throwing away from the first aid packs.

This is my desk, containing the essential tool for living - a slinky spring. That thing keeps me going, seriously. But wait....what can this be.....

Believe me, this is the only fun thing about my job - the electric stapler dad 2 bought me about 4 years ago for xmas. Quite possibly the most useful present I have ever received.

Don't worry almost done. This is Hannibal. Because I also love it when a Plan comes together. He and I share a joke every now and again (and this is with me taking the pills). There is also debbie mcgee on another wall who is my icon for public understanding work - if debbie mcgee would understand that sentance then it's fine for public consumption etc etc. She is wearing a nice blue dress and silver shoes. And finally..... the view from my window.

My Director actually came down here this morning and asked me whether I thought we needed new blinds. I don't know though - if they were good enough for this desk owner 40 years ago should I really be criticising them in their off milk paleness now?

Oooo yeah

So there I was at NWKnit tog last night with that accursed teva durham cardi pattern and I'm at the point where it says 'after 1/2 an inch start to divide for sleeves' at which point it says 'join another ball of yarn'. JOIN ANOTHER BALL OF YARN????? I'm already knitting with 2 balls of yarn and this isn't intarsia, it's all one colour. So Teva wants me to have FOUR BALLS OF YARN enagaged at the same time. Yeah so I'm obviously carrying another two balls around with me.

You know what? I hate that cardigan.

It is afterall knitted with the drunk yarn. Which incidentally is shedding all over me. I hate it. From this day forth that is a ufo and I'm reclaiming my denises from it and putting it on a holder.

So instead I have inpetuously begun an alphabet blanket in the merino aran I got from coldspring. I won't forget that loop d bloody loop thing though.

my name is byrne...and i am funky

Hat finished and though I say so myself it looks rather fine as well as extremely mental.

In fact, it looks like my good self aha tra la. Now some people will tell you, the blaggards, that I only loathe dpn's because I can not use them. Aha, not so. But it is true I will avoid using them because I HATE them. Look at the suffering they cause me when I am forced to put them to work.


Have had a good but busy weekend. Pooch and I have a new flat sorted. Got it on Saturday and it's near Canada Water in docklands and even bigger than the current one. I went to Barnes to see Nikerjac in the afternoon. I know I keep saying it but I do love it down there. She also thinks that it is an actual wedding (the cast off thing) with the two named individuals who's names I can't recall actually tying (or perhaps 'knitting' fnah fnah) the knot. My flower garland yarn should be waiting for me at work today. Other things waiting for me are a hellishly busy day and news of the new job as the deadline was Friday.

Yesterday was a momentous occasion but to understand quite how momentus I need to prepare you with a little history. Mum and Dad divorce when I am 4 - Dad goes off with his secretary and in due course have 2 kids. The eldest is Freddie (female, 17), the youngest is Piers (male, 13). Alex and sister spend alternate weekends with Dad up to about age 14 maybe? Then Johanna (secretary) and Sian (original sister, 25) fall out big style and no more home visits allowed. End to seeing Freddie and Piers who has just been born. Piers seen once when 3 weeks old when accidentally bumped into them. Skip forward 12 years (last summer). Alex goes mental big style and is hospitalised, gets out and starts campaign to see siblings basically in case she tops herself big style in the near future. So...phew... meeting takes place on neatral ground between F, P, me, Johanna and dad. Is extraordinaryly wonderful and mentions are made of a visit to their house for bbq's and whatnot. Skip forward a year to a month ago. Me reminding dad big style that it's been a year and no visit has happened. Skip forward to yesterday and there is a nervous me plus the reassuring prescence of Mr Pooch heading down to Canterbury to visit the house they've lived in for about 10 years for the first time and to spend a family day with my extended family.

IT WAS WICKED! I had such a good time. Freddie I have seen a couple of times recently and she was on good form doing physics summerwork as school starts again today. I was running round their gorgeous garden making plane noises and Pooch was lapping up the gorgeous views. We had lunch, sat about and chatted and then Piers, who had been umpiring some cricket, got home with Johanna. You know those strings of firecrackers where you set one off and then the rest catch and you get a series of explosions. That's kind of like Piers. I have no experience of teenage boys so I don't know if this is normal but he is SO energetic! Pooch was running round the garden as well after a while and there was lots of playing catch and stuff. And then there was a bbq which Piers and Pooch cooked between them. That was lovely too with gorgeous salads and the 6 of us all sitting round the table in the garden. Ooo I can't really describe it but it was so so wonderful. It may have taken decades to come but it well, I was going to say it was worth the wait wich it wasn't but then it did go someway to making up for it. I just hope it continues - I'll need to keep up the momentum with Dad. I love my Dad x