Touched by his noodly appendage

I have truly been touched today. Last night I started reading His gospel on the way to knitting and I have hardly put it down or stopped thinking about it since. There is so much good stuff in there. I typed out the 8 "I'd really rather you didn'ts" at work this afternoon just so I could post them on here. Except I left them at work. That will just have to serve as a teaser for tomorrow. And isn't that just His way? Keeping us enthralled.

One of the "I'd really rather you didn'ts" is all about not preaching on at people so I'm not going to try and convert you or anything but I do want to share some of the ways His Noodliness gave my day meaning.

1. The morning began with me taking all the oldbyrne stickers off my monitor and replaced them with the simple "WWAPD?" which is really all one needs by the way of inspiration. (Stands for what would a pirate do)
   
2. I was given the opportunity to reflect on how sometimes a pirate just has to accept the "Arrrr" when it comes along when a colleague did something really stupid.
   
3. At lunch instead of automatically choosing a sandwich I had the delicious and nutritious homemade sweet potato soup because it is orange, which is as close to red as I get without ketchup and because red is His preferred colour.
4. My faith was tested on the way home when I read further into the gospel and discovered that penguins were cast out from FSM heaven and sent to antarctica which is the least preferred continent of His Noodliness. This is because it is so cold the beer volcano freezes. And also there is nothing to make pasta from. I have recently found myself to be tempted by penguins but I realise this was just the FSM putting temptation in my path. I can be strong.
   
5. My faith was further tested when I read that every pirate, as well as accepting the "Arrrr" needs a parrot to repeat his words back to him (or her) when you've been partaking too freely of the beer volcano. Now I normally repeat what Pooch says or even pre-empt what he says because I know what he's like when he's grumpy. Wouldn't that make me his parrot and so therefore I am not a pirate? But I felt his noodly appendage as my mind cleared and I saw how on the road to piracy you can assume many roles to gain a better understanding of the final role as a pukka pirate.
   

All this may sound a bit odd but I am really loving the whole FSM thing. I am actually looking forward to reading more of it later in the bath.

The end of another year...

The last year has brought many new experiences into my life but more importantly I feel now like more of a whole, better balanced person. The madness has continued up and down but with the help of my new therapist I can see ahead to a time without pills and even without therapists. As superficial as it may seem the new hair and new clothes make me feel more like I'm accepting the way I am and getting on with things as they are rather than wishing things were different.

When I was at the psychiatric hospital one of the big themes was 'irrational beliefs' where you want the world to be other than it is. For example you get a parking ticket. You are annoyed because it is unfair and yet you didn't pay the fee or parked illegally or whatever. So despite the fact that that is how things are you are annoyed because 'it' is unfair and 'it' shouldn't be like that. So deeply entrenched into me was this lesson that now whenever I start to think or feel something is unfair I fair nearly automatically remind myself that that is how things are and either get over it or do something differently. It has made such a huge difference to me although I still haven't rid myself of feeling that way and there are times when I forget to remind myself about it and other times when it takes an awful long time to calm down.

This brings me on to this evening and because I sometimes forget this I did end up ferociously angry and having a bit of a boo sometime after midnight. As unfair as something may seem there is a point where you have to either accept that it is like that and live with it or do something differently. Another big lesson from the hospital was that someone can only upset you if you allow them to - you have to give them that power. To take away that power you have to effectively no longer care what they say. And surely that begs the question - if you don't value their opinion or if their actions have no effect on you, what are you doing with them?

I know roughly what 2007 will bring in terms of work, the MBA, living, travelling, seeing people and so on but there are still some big questions to be answered. I was making an ATC earlier and came across a saved scrap with the words TAKE TIME printed on it. It seems fairly good advice really. Afterall despite all the neigh or nay or ney sayers I'm certain that 2008 will follow 2007 and then 2009 will come along and so on and so there really is no need to make decisions when I may later realise that I can't live with it and do want to do something differently.

I hope you all had a good new year and hope you all find things the way you want them during 2007.

New do

Yes, it is that time of year when I visit the hairdresser and make some sort of hair-decision-disaster. I had good intentions to go for a c-something (no laughing) type bob with the under layers slightly shorter so it would curve in. But then I sat down and had nothing to do for 10 mins and my eye fell on a binder of elegant do's that lay on the elegant coffee table and as I nonchalently flicked through one particularly caught my eye and.... I have taken a photo but have taken it at super high res and am a bit worried it will crash my poor blog if I put it up here but I'll have a go and you just tell me if it slows things up too much.

Pooch is saying nice things and I have to admit I kind of like it. Now don't laugh, but with this do and the clothes I bought in the sale (ones that actually FIT ME and are NICE rather than not-warranting-nice-clothes-because-I'm-only-temporarily-a-16-and-am-
bound-to-fit-into-all-those-size-12-things-again-any-minute) and the bead necklaces I made form my hobbycraft blow out this afternoon I feel like I am becoming the Byrne I have always pictured in my head rather than the one I was striving for. It all sounds a bit hippy but I feel like I've found the proper me for once.

At this point I need to lay off the heavy stuff and mention that in the photo above I am cloth-ed (as in clothe ed as in olden wording) in my brand new pyjamas from Monsoon. One of the joys of weight gain is the need to buy new things such as pyjamas. And one of the joys of being ag-ed (as in age ed) is that spending £30 on a pair of PJs no longer makes you RAOTFLMAO* as the young things say. And that was the sale price. I'm not yet at an age(d) where spending £55 on a pair seems sensible.

So sale shopping and haircuts aside I am having a rather lovely holiday. I have catalogued my stash. Oh yes. I have also been to see the new James Bond film - oh my word yes. I have ditched all those size 12 clothes that I am blatantly not going to wear again (I'm aiming for 14 by summer and will leave the 12s to the young folk). I have organised my remaining wardrobe so I can actually find things. Hmmm, actually this is starting to sound like nesting behavour. Anything you want to tell me, Byrne? Er, no.

On the subject of James Bond - I admit I was not happy when they went for a Blonde Bond. Nothing against blonds - one of my best friends is a blonde - but Bond has dark hair and flashing dark eyes. But.....BUT. Well, for a start, butt. The man is gorgeous. He's a bit overdeveloped in the upper body but I'm not going to mark him down for that. He has this pouty mouth that a supermodel would starve herself to death for and a voice that is all yummy. I shouldn't write all this as I have been having stern discussions with Pooch about the objectification of women in modern society but you can't deny he is pure beefcake with a cherry on top. His acting is rather good too and although I understand the film is quite long I didn't feel a moment of it was over the top. I really would recommend this one.

Speaking of Pooch...

Pooch's Kennel - life as a wool-widow

Went to see Casino Royal. Byrne annoying as usual on the way back wanting to talk about some man who was in it. Eva Green is rather nice, what what.

Byrne has developed the habit of hiding all my posessions in unlikely places. She also moves them around while I am looking for them and then slips them into my pockets so when she says "are you sure they're not in your pocket" she can turn out to be right and get all smarmy about it. Have taken to sitting on her cable needle at every available opportunity and then getting stroppy when she asks me to stand up every fourth row.

Had Joe round for dinner last night. Was very excited as when withdrew bottle of white from wine rack it had dust on it. Byrne failed to observe the significance of this, merely remarking that it was proof of how dirty I was. Am going to put her wool in the rubbish after she falls asleep tonight then will be able to point out how much cleaning I have been doing.

Plans for tomorrow: Grump, sigh, grump some more.



* Roll around on the floor laughing my ass** off

** small american donkey

Remind me not to quote anyone anytime soon

No sooner had that blog post about sock machines gone up then James Brown has left this mortal coil and gone to a funkier place. Rather a shame but hopefully a lot of his music will now be played in tribute which will be good because it is damn funky.

So here I am on boxing day with another xmas gone. This one was unique in that it was completely family free as Pooch and I were very insular and ate our guinea fowl alone. It was actually really fun! This is depsite the post woman not coming on Saturday leaving me without my family's presents which is rather a shame and yet pretty good because I know that there are even more good things to come. I'll have to try to remember in coming days to post a picture of the duvet cover and pillows I made for my sister Sianybo which were rather good though I say so myself. I often wonder why I don't make these things for myself instead of putting up with tesco value tat so maybe that is something to add to the To Do list.

I was looking back at the blog archive for this time last year and couldn't find much mention of what my good intentions were other than a promise to exercise twice a week and eat more heathily. So, for the saje of tradition, let's put those on the to do list as well. I weighed myself this morning having put it off until the quality street were finished. I am 11 stone and 11 pounds which according to Google is about 75kg give or take an ounce. This is approx 1 stone and 4 pounds over what I was this time last year which is a bit of a bummer really. Bloody hell that's a lot of doughnuts under the bridge. So. SO.....Um.... I guess if I lose a pound a month I'll be 11 stone by the end of the year. Does that sound OK? Because afterall I am getting on a bit (several people have told me they thought I was about 25 recently although I can't help feeling that is down to a lack of maturity rather than youthful good looks) as I'll be 29 in 2007. That should mean I'll be a comfortable size 14 again rather than the size 15.9 I seem to be at the moment.

Now, where are those chocolates...?

Pooch's Christmas Message

It is with sadness that I look back at the last year and consider all the wasted opportunities for annoying my Byrne. There have been many good instances, and I only wish there was enough space on the interweb for me to relate them all here, but I don't feel I have really made the most of the time we've spent together. I want to assure you, my loyal readers, that this will change in 2007.

Yours grumpily, Pooch

(woof)

Get UP! (get on up) Stay on the Scene! (get on up) Like a Sock Machine! (get on up)

Ahhhh, good old James Brown. Nobody does it better. Yes, here I am - sock machine supremo. I may detest the 4 needle method but those socks with seams have been leaving my needles at a fair old pace. I finished two pairs for me in the last couple of days both of which were started months and months ago but got put aside for ghastly xmas knitting.

Both pairs are sadly a little on the large side. But who needs svelte socks?

Here is the ghastly baby set that I did for someone my Mum knows.

Bernie did the hat - godbless'er - which lets me safely segway into an update of the knitting situation at work. Some time ago you may remember me casting myself in the role of evil stepmother slash witch in the snow white story tempting a young, defenceless colleague into knitting a mobile phone cover. Well.... she has finished a scarf with not a single mistake, ends sewn in and all, and has caused such consternation in her department manager at all this display of skill that it caused her to go out and buy needles and yarn to start her own. (Being a posh bird [and that is me writing that right so you know she must be pretty damn posh] she bought debbie bliss 100% cashmere at something like £10 for 25g. Asked me to cast on for her which I gladly did and knitted a row just for the experience. Verrrrrrrry lovely but that scarf is going to be worth its weight in gold.) So that is 3 colleagues converted. Oh yeah.


Now before I continue I want you to promise not to laugh. Because I finished my mum's jacket and, um, it looks a bit odd. You know this woman....

Well, make sure you don't think of her when you look at this:

Yeah, I know.

So anyway, the winner of the first challenge for the Proud To Be Crafty zine was Ingrid Curl. Hoorah! And what did she win, well well.....

Well done Ingrid! And you can enter challenge two - just get hold of a copy of the zine and find out all about it.

Happy Christmas Everyone!

ATTENTION

ALIENS ARE COMING TO ABDUCT ALL THE GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY PEOPLE.

YOU WILL BE SAFE .

I'M JUST POSTING TO SAY GOODBYE.

I'm not kidding. I've been sitting at my desk sniggering like a school boy who's just been told a fart joke for the last 10 minutes.





Now that the xmas knitting is gone and done I have had a chance to join some new ATC swaps. While perusing the web for vintage nudes (as you do, at work, when your screen faces the whole room) I came across this website. Obviously I wouldn't take any of the images from this website as that would infringe copyright but they are all remarkably free of watermarks and there is an amazing variety.




It is amazing what you can find on the web. For instance I can see the one on the left making an appearance on an ATC sometime soon.

Someone else at work has been made redundant in a rather unexpected reshuffle. All a bit odd. What is odder is that I got a kind of random job offer from a website that uses ZoomInfo to find likely candidates. What is weird is that I typed in my name and out of all the Al*x B*rne's in the world (and there is one who has won lots of oscars for costume design) I come out 3rd on their list. Try yourself. If ever there was a reason for not putting your real name, at least in full, on your blog this is it!

Cast off the old, in with the new

Finished the bloody xmas knitting! Just checking in quickly as had a hectic day off yesterday frantically knitting, stitching and otherwise fiddling with presents after a busy weekend in manchester with Pooch's family. ALL DONE! Thank ****.

Have sent out about 35 copies of the zine which is rather good and have had some very nice comments back. You can still get a copy here.

Have more pictures of cherries to be posted but none with me so until tomorrow........

Impromptu lectures

When I got to work this morning I got called into a photo shoot for our Events business's new brochure. Being sober and upstanding I got to stand at the front behind a lecturn and pretend to lecture. Except I saw no point in pretence and decided to go for it. My homily (sp?) covered many subjects including

• the music of william shatner


• balanced scorecard


• the distribution of staff survey results


• the height of some of my co-workers


• the flying spaghetti monster

It worries me that there are some people out there who do not know about his holiness, the FSM. Here he is:

I know. He's breathtaking. I have asked Pooch for the gospel of the FSM for xmas. I love him, and Pooch, and want to be touched by his noodly appendage, and the FSG's fnah fnah. I feel it is important that anyone who has heard about Creationism should also read about Pastafarianism.

Incidentally my colleagues already think I'm nuts so were not surprised at any of the above topics.

Just before I go - is the word 'bodkin' really in such decline? Even women in their 50s claim not to know of the word. I feel like it was one of my first 10 words like dada or potty. Reassure me here - others do know of and use it don't they? What else would one sew up seams with?

One word meme

Where do these things start?

Yourself: Ditzy
Your boyfriend: Pooch
Your hair: awful
Your mother: Bookish
Your father: Distant
Your favorite Item: Chocolate
Your dream last night: absent
Your favorite drink: chocolate
Your dream car: red
The room you are in: impersonal
Your ex: numbered
Your fear: madness
What you want to be in 10 years? Poochetta
Who you hung out with last night? Pooch
What you're not: Unhungry
Muffins: chocolate
One of your wish list items: wool
Time: lacking
The last thing you did: kiss
What you are wearing: cords
Your favorite weather: rain
Your favorite book: Freakonomics
The last thing you ate: cherry!
Your life: patchy
Your mood: sleepy
Your best friend: Louise xxx
What are you thinking about right now? dinner
Your car: none
What are you doing at this moment: hungering
Your summer: warm
Your relationship status: dreamy
What is on your TV? nothing
What is the weather like? windy
When is the last time you laughed? just now
Who do you tag? anyone?

310th post

I made that the title as there must be something to celebrate in this otherwise most unlovely of Tuesdays. Those masochists among you who have been checking in for some time now may have heard me mention the film "Zoolander" once or twice. There is a point in that film where Hansel (Owen Wilson) is telling a story to a group of himilayan pygmies while baking bread. It goes something like this....

"So I'm free-basing down this mountain in the alps and all of a sudden I feel the snow slide under me and I'm like 'oh no' and suddenly I'm falling and I'm falling through the air waving my arms and screaming 'aaaaarrrgggghhhhhh'.... when all of a sudden I'm like.... 'Hansel? Haven't you been smoking Peyote for 6 straight days? And isn't it possible this all a hallucination? And you know what?..........It was! I was in Utah. I've never even been to the alps!'

(Pygmie) 'Cool story Hansel!'"

From which story you will of course guess that it was only at the end of the day that I remembered I have PMT. Everything was fine up to when I got back from lunch and so to say it was an awful 'day' is taking it a bit far. It was more like an awful 2 hours which may run into tomorrow a bit but frankly who gives a shit.

Hoorah, hoorah, for I am not mad!

Had a day off yesterday and spent it putting in hard graft on xmas presents. And also putting in some serious cherry consuming too. Here are the two combined in my effort to be a bit yarnstorm-ish.
Aren't cherries fabulous? And don't they just taste great? You know, I didn't even like cherries until about September. Now I can't get enough of them.














You'll also see my beautiful pink denise cables in the photo above which are an early xmas present from The Pooch via Woolly Workshop. They remind me of just how much I totally adore my denise needles. I was further reminded of this when my blog went awol when I switched to blogger beta at the weekend. About 2 days it was missing for - rather annoying. When it came back all the info from the sidebar had gone so I had to look on google for a cache'd one and it came up with this. They really are so good. I have the plymouth bamboo interchangables and frankly they are not up to much. Fine to knit with - in fact divine to knit with - but not enough cables for a multi knitter such as me.

Here is a kind of knitting themed post of what I shall be knitting first once I get the xmas ghastlies off the needles. It's the socks that rock yarn I got in a swapbot swap. Aaaaahhhhh, lovely yarn.....beautiful yarn.....lovely yarn. Soon I will come back to you my pretty....

Ok. That's enough time off the ghastly knitting. All that remains is for me to insert a quick political spot...

[Ding, Dong, Pinochet is dead - hoorah hoorah may he believe in hell so he can rot there]*

....and to apologise for the lack of a report from Pooch's Kennel. He seems to be enjoying the attention too much so I'm going to suspend it for now.

*My revised religious beliefs still maintain that I can spell the 'r' word wrongly and have been updated to include a bit about how if you believe in heaven or hell you might end up going there. But if you believe that when you die that's it then that's what you get too.

Hexalong - yippee!

There is a woollywormhead pattern in knitty, which also contains umpteen other cool things. I am joining the knit along for it! Click on the button below to get to it or the pattern is here.

This is me, right?

This is me, right, with a young lady we will call Vinnie. Except she's not holding an apple. It's more like she's holding her first ever piece of red knitting. She managed to do it without a mistake and even cast off and on with no problem. Not too shaky for a newbie. Incidentally, mobile phone covers are the new pot holder. She was just lamenting that she is away for the weekend and has nothing to knit on the train. Oh yeah. I got her good.

I don't have long to blog today as just as I sat down to do this the xmas fairy landed in our office and I got heavily involved in The Decoration Project. Believe it or not I am one of the tallest on my floor (at 5'7" - place is full of midgets) so was called on for lots of sticking of blue tak. Fortunately we have a temp in who is seriously 6'10" and so no standing-on-rotating-office-chair-accidents took place.

Off to see Sound of Music tonight with the in-laws and then a weekend of family style debauchery - i.e. Greenwich market and Harrods. Have a good weekend everyone!

PS: BUY THE ZINE ;)

Live life like you're gonna die... because you're gonna

Nope, not a return to madness but the title of a great song that Will Shatner stars in. Let me lay some lyrics on you...

You'll Have Time
(William Shatner/Ben Folds)

Live life
Live life like you're gonna die
Becasue you're gonna
I hate to be the bearer of bad news
But you're gonna die

Maybe not today or even next year
But before you know it you'll be saying

Is this all there was?
What was all the fuss?
Why did I bother?"

Now, maybe you won't suffer maybe it's quick
But you'll have time to think
Why did I waste it?
Why didn't I taste it?
You'll have time
Because you're gonna die.

Yes it's gonna happen because it's happened to a lot of people I know
My mother, my father, my loves
The president, the kings and the pope
They all had hope

And they muttered just before they went
Maybe, I won't let go
Live life like you're gonna die
Because you are

Maybe you won't suffer maybe it's quick
But you'll have time to think
Why did I waste it?
Why didn't I taste it?
You'll have time
'Cause you're gonna die

There's more but I don't want you to get bored. What was making me think about this song was that I haven't been able to take my second anti-d for the last couple of days for various reasons and boy, am I feeling the effects. Lethargy, confusion, I feel like I'm thinking through treacle if you know what I mean. My memory is shot too. This is how I was feeling before I started taking the second one on top. It got me thinking about what a funny old thing the brain is and how the odd chemical here and there can make so much difference. It also reminded me that getting better is only the beginning of the end and I still have the long cut-down period to get through. But once I get to the end of it and once I have cut down there is a whole big future out there waiting for me.

Current medical thinking is that it is not wise to get pregnant while taking prozac. Bit of a no brainer some might think but there is research suggesting it adversely effects the brain chemicals in the baby. At one point they thought you should leave it for two years after stopping but this has been shorted to one cycle. I'm not gagging to have kids but that bint at work asking me whether I was pregnant did get me thinking about the whole thing. The idea no longer repels me anyway.

In knitting news am still banging away at the ghastly xmas knitting. Ghastly. Soon be over. Am also gearing up for the in-laws visiting this weekend which means a visit to 'Sound of Music' starring the people's choice woman who I think is called Carrie. Means I won't be blogging much towards the end of the week.

Right, back to the ghastly knitting....

Moo is home and has brought donuts!

Nicked this from Mooknits.

You Are a Caramel Crunch Donut

You're a complex creature, and you're guilty of complicating things for fun. You've been known to sit around pondering the meaning of life... Or at times, pondering the meaning of your doughnut. To frost or not to frost? To fill or not to fill? These are your eternal questions.

What Donut Are You?

*sigh* another load of no-sends on swap-bot.com. I am so disillusioned with that site although I have done a lot of good swapping on it. It is just so dispiriting when you make something, like a handknit dishcloth, and then get nothing back. I have just signed out of all the swaps that hadn’t started yet and will just slog through the ones I have left and then leave it entirely with atcards.com and the eclectic ATC Yahoo group. Maybe.

I have this internal conflict going on at the moment concerning the throny issue of organisation. As much as it may seem to conflict with my whole life I would really like to be organised. I am always writing lists but then tend to lose them or at least lose interest. The area of swaps is another one where I really want to be organised but am just not getting there. I have an excel file on my PDA but I keep forgetting it. Then I started another list in my notebook but keep forgetting about it. Then I tried writing it down but the paper wasn’t wide enough. My latest decision is to go back to the paper route but (and this is the big BUT {dissimilar to my big ol’butt}) I am going to do it landscape on coloured paper.

I had to break the paragraph there to leave room for the hushed she’s-a’fricking-genius type silence that just happened there. Who’d have seen that one coming?

The Pooch forms one corner of an uneasy triangle in my life at the moment, the other two corners being me and my muvver. Mumsy has asked that the cottage be a laptop free zone at xmas (we are going down to her this year) and Pooch has taken this rather personally. I spoke to Mum about it this morning and she has taken his taking it personally rather personally. Her argument is that it is antisocial. Pooch’s argument is that he wouldn’t dream of asking her not to bring a book or me to bring my knitting. My compromise is that the laptop stays elsewhere for xmas day and is then optional on other days. My argument is also that by his very nature Pooch = antisocial so you can either have him sitting in a corner glowering at the laptop screen or just sitting in a corner glowering. He looks as cute either way although the light from the laptop gives him a kind of ethereal anti-halo which does something for his image although I’m not sure what. All this calls for another entry from the kennel.

(Big Brother announcer’s voiceover…..)
Day 2 in the Pooch Kennel

Set alarm for 6.40am then objected loudly when Byrne got up at 7 and wanted to turn the light on. Even though she brought me a cup of tea I still loathe her. After she had left drank tea with sulky expression on face while counting ways to bring about her downfall. Got up and rearranged two bottles of wine in my 56 bottle winerack. Made my winerack some tea but it didn’t want it so I drank it.

Last night spent some time enumerating the number of meanings of the word ‘Byrne’.

1. Byrne? – cry of a wounded Pooch (wounds are generally a self-inflicted hangover)
2. Byrne! – sharp bark such as one uses on a cat when you have caught it munching on the Sunday roast. Used to reprimand and gain ceasing of current action. Usually ineffective.
3. Byyyyyyyrrrrrnnnne – stealth Pooch gearing up to ask for something.
4. Byrrrrrne – howl of despair when disco-ordinatedness has made me hit myself in the face again.
5. Byyyyyrrrrne – exclamation of surprise, such as when Byrne is found building my winerack. Usually denotes pleasure. Also used when discover Byrne has embroidered ‘Byrne was here’ on my underpants.

Me & my winerack have some tea

Every day in every way....

Do you know how much knitting I have to do? God damn christmas. Bah humbug! I am also somewhat preoccupied with the memory of how much time the MBA is going to take up when it starts again in May. I have to learn to really make the most of all the time I DO have. Which includes no more xmas knitting. NO MORE. But it's a bit late now. Oh poo.

Have been thinking for some time that Pooch should have a blog to put across his side of things. I wanted to call it Pooch's kennel but he has steadfastly refused to do one and this afternoon officially trademarked his name meaning I can't use it at all. So I have decided to have Pooch's blog as a subset of this one. So here follows the first entry of Pooch's kennel

Sunday 3rd in the Kennel

Got up today and drank a lot of tea. Then went back to bed with tea and my laptop. Did you know that the ATG couldn't find the SPU input with their elbows? Spent 3 hours on wikipedia reading about code breaking, mafia bosses with funny names and crocodiles while drinking tea. Surprisingly little overlap. Byrne bought me a winerack. About time since I've been asking for one for more than a year. She had to put it together because I'm too disco-ordinated. Yay, disco! Let's dance like Bez from the Happy Mondays. And drink tea!


My Winerack
(except mine only has two bottles in and I officially give Byrne permission to keep her shoes in the rest of the spaces. This is official because it is on my blog.)







So apart from that there is not much else to say and still can't post any pics as is all too sensitive. Oh except....
These are are just some of the squares I've been crocheting in my spare moments. It's a humungous blanket from the interweave crochet mag my SP bought me oh so long ago. I'm really enjoying it actually. And I like the modular nature which means I can just do a little bit at a time but see how it is building to make the whole. Which brings me on to the subject that is never that far from my mind.

I had my appraisal last week and was talking to sean about my feeling of isolation in my role and what I think I have realised over the last couple of days is that it's something that isn't going to change and as I'm not working closely with anyone I'm the only one who's going to notice what I do achieve. And I'm not going to notice unless I define the signposts or whatever they call them. Tomorrow I'm going to go into work and use the wonderful MS Project for something other than ATCs. Maybe.

lalala

Look at this site: http://www.captionmykitten.com/index.php?id=37&cap=584

Fricking hilarious.

So I have been away partly because I have been finishing issue 2 of the zine (and it is FINISHED and being printed as I type). You can order your copy here: http://proudtobecrafty.blogspot.com

Anything you want to share?

One of my colleagues just asked me if I was pregnant.













Great.






Anyway, spent the weekend in Oxford with the Pooch where there was a complete lack of yarn shops. I think I may claim the last week or two as an unofficial start to another stashalong month of abstainment. Can I do that retrospectively? Maybe if I told myself it was going to be a 2 month stint. But then that would mean missing out on the sales. But then I do have enough yarn to bury my pregnant looking form several metres deep so maybe that won't be such a bad thing.

OK, yes, 2 months, but backdating it to when I last bought yarn. Naturally this calls for a ticker to be created......


In knitting news I have finally finished the jumper for the wretched child and have begun the leggings - probably about 1/4 done on those. A colleague has offered to knit the hat to save the baby from total hate-knitting karma which is nice of her.

The second issue of the ProudtobeCrafty Zine is almost finished! (Go here to pre-order a copy and find out more) Hoorah. This is partly due to my being borrrrred at work - but you know how that bluesy tune goes as I sing it so often. It is my appraisal on Wednesday and I am expecting to receive another sonnet on tact and how I don't have any but at least it should be followed by some objectives I can't complete in 2 mins.

ATCs continue to occupy my thoughts when they are not taken up with knitting or the speed with which I can minimise my screen should someone important suddenly appear over my shoulder. I am quite into the digital versions where you create the image on the screen and print it out. I really think I should have been a graphic designer. Maybe it isn't too late although I'd need to take a pay cut for about a decade. Anyway... I am seriously into layering in photoshop. Ad speaking of layering - I am thinking of chopping all my hair off again. But considering I have a round face/head/body will this make me look fatter? Or more pregnant? Let us not forget it made me look quite weird when I was skinny.

Big old rant time

I've got a few minutes to spare and it so happens that my temper has been sorely tried today so what else does a blogger do in that situation other than sit down and inflict their views on the world?

I have been in a training course all day on customer care. I have been in a training course all day with a load of people who are mostly perfectly nice and about 3 who are the most ignorant f*cking idiots you've ever come across. The thing that finally got my goat was the all-physicists-are-weird chorus that gets trotted out by the aforementioned idiots every now again. The woman leading the chant this time happens to be jewish so having said I found the statement rather offensive and being told how stupid I was I asked her how she'd feel if someone said "All Jews are tight."? Now what I should have done was kept my mouth shut and just privately reflected on how good life was in that I only had to come into contact with her at these sorts of events. Instead she got all uppity and said you couldn't compare religion and an academic subject. I don't want to offend any readers of a religious pursuasion but perhaps this is because science is based on fact whereas religion is based on a load of lala. Don't tell me all physicists are weird and then tell me it's 'normal' to walk around convinced there's a trumanesque god watching over you. What kind of dumbarse thing is that to say?!

Another thing (AND ANOTHER THING) that happened was someone who would be the stupidest person working here if it weren't for the 'normal' woman and one other who I swear has nothing but stale air between her earoles said that George Bush was responsible for 9/11. Completely. And possibly MI5. WHAT??? I can only imagine that she is a creationist. What kind of moron thinks that a man as dumb as george bush could possible orchestrate a disaster like that and fool EVERYONE into thinking it was bin-laden? She even wrote a web address on a piece of paper for me so I can learn the truth. THE TRUTH??????








I have a card at home.

On the front is a rather troubled looking lady with a speech bubble.

It says,

"I tried to be normal but the effort drove me mad."

I feel, people, that I keep trying and society just conspires against me all the time. I realise I shouldn't let these things get to me but it really does bother me an awful lot that f*cking morons

like this walk around and can do things like breed, vote, buy a gun.

Yes, I guess you could say I'm feeling a little bit tense. Rather than go and blast some of those 'normals' with a weapon I am going to go to a hip hop dance class so I can blow them away with my moves (should I ever meet them on a dancefloor). At least I am hoping this might turn out to be mildly enjoyable so that I can finally find a form or movement that I don't totally detest and can treat like exercise. If this doesn't work I am going to try pole dancing. I hear it's good for toning you up.