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Showing posts from September 17, 2006

Epiphany

Had an appointment with my therapist last night. That's my therapist Janet, not the one Pooch and I go to together. The crux of it is this...... (sit up straight folks, this is the big one.)

I get depressed because I withdraw from emotional situations and don't open up to people. I won't let people look after me or show emotion to me because it freaks me out. I avoid any situation that couold get emotional.

Now when I say emotional I don't mean *any* emotion. There's a sliding scale. Emotions I can't stand are things like compassion and sympathy that is being directed towards me. I'm fine doling it out to others but witnessing others receiving it or god forbid it coming my way is a big no no. There are other emotions as well but those are the obvious ones. So anyway. This explains a whole heap of stuff. The next steps are to
Recognise how I have avoided emotion in the past.Recognise the situations I avoid in order not to have to be uncomfortableStart exposing …

Il pleut

Beaucoup or however you spell it. Basically it's wet in london. And it matches my mood because I'm well pissed off. And I am trying to work out whether this is one of those animal, vegetable or mental type annoyances.

It is true that aspects of work are quite trying at the moment and I have a presentation to 1/3 staff this afternoon where most of them are only there for the cake and the rest are worried, confused and therefore not far off irritable themselves. So this is fair reason for being moody. This definitely counts as vegetable.

It is also true that I have 'got the builders in' and other such dumb arse phrases men use for women having periods. This then could be an animal cause.

This brings us to the mental. I have a postcard that says something pithy like 'I used to be sane but the effort drove me mad'. When, dudes, do I get a fricking break from effort? I am now sorely tempted just to go all out there and sit at my desk naked smoking a haddock like a ci…

White collar crime

I tried, right. I tried to go to Rymans and use their photocopier and what happens? It costs me 80p in jams and then after i ask the staff which way round to put the paper it copies twice on the same side of the paper I'm using. That's a fiver I'll never see again. Anyway... I am now forced to abuse the office facilities and also to stay late tonight so no one sees me doing it. I guess if I were to try and rationalise this I would say something along the lines of unpaid overtime in exchange for use of copier but in all likelihood I'll be on swapbot so it doesn't really work.

Anyone who wants a copy of the zine leave a comment but INCLUDE YOUR ADDRESS! I need to know where to post these stolen copies.

On a swapbot theme I am now well into ATCs and have been flinging them around the world. I posted about a squillion parcels yesterday so look out those of you who have me as a swap partner. One of the things I sent was this which I am really in two minds about.

It's a…

Catch up round up thing

The first edition of the only UK crafty zine I know about is out and available (but tell me if you know of others as I want to read them!). I have already emailed a couple of you for addresses as this is one of the old-school paper varieties and not some downloadable didgery. The first edition is strictly limited to 50 copies which have a hand-stitched binding and is FREE! Whoopie for ‘free’! In return all you have to do is email me and let me know what you thought of it and what changes should be made. Be constructive in your criticism but make sure you’re honest.
I’ve been away all this time taking a week of very hard earned leave from work which has meant no internet for all that time. How did I survive? Well, actually it was hell! Not only did I have no access to blogging but also no email! So there has been loads going on that I have only just heard about. One thing is that we should all be sending much love to Woolly Wormhead at the moment as she has had a bit of a set-back. I’m…