Pooch and I had a big old talk last night where we shared a whole heap of stuff and talked like we hadn't done for months. We really do love each other an awful lot and want to make each other happy which is why I think we were both so shocked that things got to the stage they did. I'm still not sure who was more upset by what happened but I know that he was lashing out and that it was p[artly a result of a position I'd put him in so I fully accept some responsibility. We are going to see the lovely Relate counsellor who helped us before but as pooch puts it "I think we only need a couple of visits - just to remind us what we've forgotten".
As I've just written in an email to my SP - in a way this might have a silver lining as it has reminded me of how before my last spell of madness I was holding everything in and how I learnt the hard way that I needed to share things. It's reminded me just in time to share my feelings with people, especially Pooch. It's also reminded me not to cut myself off from experiences and not to give the negative voices so much airtime. Listen more to the sqeaky me!
I don't want to come out with a whole list of "...and therefore I am going to do this that and the other..." but I have decided to give the MBA another go. I've been getting good marks and there's no point giving up til I am sure about what I want to do.
So things are looking a bit better today and hopefully normal knitting service will be resumed shortly. Thanks peeps x
7 comments:
I know it's trite to say that we hurt the ones that we love most, but we do, because we know how to hurt them and because we care so much when things go wrong they hurt far more. I'm glad that things are looking more positive and that you and Pooch are talking to each other rather than lashing out at each other - I hope you guys figure out how to be happy together again.
I'm so glad for you that you've got round the corner away from the nastiest street - wishing you all the best.
Hope everything is ok now. There is something about this time of year that seems to get everyone down - cold weather, dark nighs, Christmas - aaargh! Hugs xx
Sometimes horrid things have to be said to shake everyone out of their ruts and make them realise what's going on. It's how you deal with it that counts. When you can talk about it and see a way forward, things usually improve. Hopefully it has strengthened your relationship even more.
Sending hugs, I know I'm a little late in doing so! xx
I just want to say that I have been lurking and admiring your blog and the countless things you seem to be skilled in for some time ..obviously we have never met but Lixie, I LIKE you and very often you definately speak my language,be it a beef with other people and their foibles(and bulls**t) or when you post about your "madness " -that I can definately relate to as I quite often have a "banging attic door " myself ! ..You are obviously respected and highly thought of and your Russian Doll analagy just blew me away ..sending cyber hugs ..Vicki xx
Great to hear you sounding more positive. I know this might not be what you want to hear right now but I have to say that I feel very envious of the fact that you have a man who would even consider going to a relationship counsellor. Most of the men I know would rather risk splitting up than talking to someone about how they feel. Good luck with it all. Hxxx
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