Thursday, 28 September 2006
And the beat goes on
Anyway. Let’s get over that and move on.
I have had lost of swap post this week. The first was a couple of brooches with are really rather lovely.
The one on the right is double sided and has a pixie on the back in black and white but for some reason I don’t have a photo of that.
For the second I’m going to take you on a little journey of discovery because it was such fun to discover the contents.
Then…
Wait for it…
Ta da!
Loads of lush stuff! Lots of papers and things for card making. And then some choc and shower gel and mmmmmm, lovely!
Lastly I’ve had two lists for the list swap.
One of these was 10 bits of advice. The advice given was so good I didn’t think it was fair to keep it to myself.
The other was 10 things that make you happy and that is the one with the maple leaf on it. Receiving them definitely made me happy!
The thing is, I have had a bit of a revelation about swaps. What I’ve realised is that they are far too much hassle and why on earth am I bothering? I think I got too excited about the last secret pal and missed the sending and receiving. I spend money buying things to swap and then have to spend twice as much posting them. So I have resigned from all swaps in future other than ATC ones. Because I am pretty hooked on ATCs.
I had loads to think about last night so ended up not going to knitting so I haven’t seen the gals at Golders Green for about 2 months now which is quite distressing. I wonder whether I didn’t go in order to avoid any kind of emotional response because that is what I was talking to therapist Janet about. It’s worse than I thought which worries me, although you wouldn’t know it to look at me. I’m basically suppressing every reaction to things and avoiding all sorts of stuff so as not to have to experience things. Janet was commenting on how I don’t have any wrinkles. She was wondering whether it was because I don’t do facial expressions unless I am overdoing them when overcompensating and playing the fool. The thing is, I just don’t know what to do. How do I learn to react to thing or to learn to react to them without then running away from that reaction? All quite glum making. Could really do with a bar of chocolate. I just realised I’m feeling sad.
Monday, 25 September 2006
There are somethings that are just too cool to put a short title on
Man. I know I am the organiser so should probably be a bit calmer about things but this holiday is shaping up to be one of the baddest things ever. In a good way. Because now we have a history (i.e. Feb 2006) and have proved our buying worthiness places are actually willing to open especially for us. It is just awesome. And people keep volunteering to run workshops on the Friday afternoon. There is just too much good stuff going on to believe it will fit into one weekend.
Incidentally, bookings are still open at http://proudtobecrafty.co.uk although 19 places have gone and we were originally only taking 20. I've maxed us out to 28 but that will leave us straining at the seams so once they're gone they're gone unless I go mad and get a bigger coach. Unlikely.
You'd have thought an international playa such as myself would be rolling in wonga but alas this is not so. I am on a strict budget this month although in fairness this is so that I can afford to splurge at Ally Pally. Ooooo, I am just so excited about that too. Got a mental shopping list of all sorts I need to get. Yeah, *need*, right. Whatever. This all means more selling on ebay and I have decided that one of the things I will be passing on will be some of the sockhop sock yarn. I'll let you all know when it goes on. That stuff is fricking nice but I've discovered I can get a pair out of one skein so have ended up with twice as much as I needed. And that's on top of my already crazy stash of sock yarn.
I got my magic yarn ball last week and it was awesome as I believe I might have mentioned. Here is what it looked like when it arrived:
Looks good enough to eat! Here it is afterwards:
So many lovely things! I had a dream last night that I was using the littl green flowers to embellish something I'd knitted. It looked absolutely amazing - the most amazing anything has ever looked but I can't remeber what it was now.
The last photo is Proud to be Crafty- the zine that beats all other if only because it is free. Let me have your postal address and a copy is yours. Email it to me at littlelixie@hotmail.com or leave it in a comment. Just remember - it has to be your real actual living address and not your email. It's not available online. Ooer.
Saturday, 23 September 2006
Epiphany
I get depressed because I withdraw from emotional situations and don't open up to people. I won't let people look after me or show emotion to me because it freaks me out. I avoid any situation that couold get emotional.
Now when I say emotional I don't mean *any* emotion. There's a sliding scale. Emotions I can't stand are things like compassion and sympathy that is being directed towards me. I'm fine doling it out to others but witnessing others receiving it or god forbid it coming my way is a big no no. There are other emotions as well but those are the obvious ones. So anyway. This explains a whole heap of stuff. The next steps are to
- Recognise how I have avoided emotion in the past.
- Recognise the situations I avoid in order not to have to be uncomfortable
- Start exposing myself to these situations.
That's going to be the hard part because it literally makes my skin crawl when I feel what are really perfectly normal things. If you are talking to me and you see me wrinkle my nose I'm either about to sneeze or the skin on my face is (almost) literally trying to move to the back of my head. It is quite uncanny.
SOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....................
Enough of all that. Let's just say things are looking up and for the first time I really feel like there might be some tiny pinprick of light far away there in the distance at the end of the tunnel.
Friday, 22 September 2006
Il pleut
It is true that aspects of work are quite trying at the moment and I have a presentation to 1/3 staff this afternoon where most of them are only there for the cake and the rest are worried, confused and therefore not far off irritable themselves. So this is fair reason for being moody. This definitely counts as vegetable.
It is also true that I have 'got the builders in' and other such dumb arse phrases men use for women having periods. This then could be an animal cause.
This brings us to the mental. I have a postcard that says something pithy like 'I used to be sane but the effort drove me mad'. When, dudes, do I get a fricking break from effort? I am now sorely tempted just to go all out there and sit at my desk naked smoking a haddock like a cigar. Or perhaps a little torrets (you know what I mean, I just can't spell it). How about if I just sat here and shrieked 'fuck, shit, bollocks' every 30 seconds. Is that how people who develop these little quirks start out? Are they one day just fed up with the urge not to strangle their fellow tube traveller and so they start taking their tights off on the tube before this develops into a fully fledged naked-haddock-smoker type manifestation? Because, basically, I have to keep telling myself it's just PMT. Now, do 'normal' people have to sit around reminding themselves they're not insane all the time? What if I stopped telling myself this. Would that mean that I then went mad? In which case surely that means I'm mad already and it's actually slightly insane to be pretending not to be.
I was having an early morning conversation with a colleague 2 days ago and he started talking about euthanasia or something and I pointed out I wasn't the best person to ask. He had forgotten my little holiday in the madhouse a couple of years ago and was shocked to hear I was a depressive. "But Alex, " he said. "You are so young and you have so much going for you. There's no reason to be depressed." Is there perhaps anyone in the world who when they think about this thinks that it genuinely helps to say that. When that is said this is what I hear: "But Alex, there's no reason to be depressed. Stop being so self-indulgent and think about all the people in the world who are actually having a bad time. And by the way the fact that you actually are suicidal really underlines that you are sick. Sick. And doomed." But I know he meant well and was trying to cheer me up.
Anyway - no one is to leave any comments about all this. Let's just pretend it didn't happen.
In OTHER news, sane news, the adult surprise jacket is going well. I must have all of about 2 inches on the needles now. I do remember thinking about doubling the yarn and doing it at least DK but no, I've started in 4-ply so I'll finish by god. It is very relaxing to do - all that endless garter stitch, but the yarn is a bit splitty so it does take a little bit of attention to make sure I've got all of it when I go to wrap a stitch.
I got my Magic Yarn Ball yesterday from the swap bot spot. This is basically a ball of wool which has been unwound and then rewound but with lots of cool little things inside. Mine was AWESOME! I have forgotten the camera or you'd have a chance to share. I think I will include a description inside the second edition of PtbC.
I have to end there as I have to go and set up for this dumbarse presentation. Still no internet at home so no more from me for this week. Have a good one peeps.
Wednesday, 20 September 2006
White collar crime
Anyone who wants a copy of the zine leave a comment but INCLUDE YOUR ADDRESS! I need to know where to post these stolen copies.
On a swapbot theme I am now well into ATCs and have been flinging them around the world. I posted about a squillion parcels yesterday so look out those of you who have me as a swap partner. One of the things I sent was this which I am really in two minds about.
It's a brooch incase anyone was wondering. Yeah I know. I wonder if it would have been better with just 4 petals.
Doing a round up I have finished the first pair of socks made with the divine sock hop sock yarn. I found you can do a pair out of just one skein which wasn't what the website said but I won't cry about it. It does mean there might be some skeins available if anyone is interested. I'll let you know when and which though once I've finished my xmas presents.
(Note half-arsed cable attempt up centre front.)
So does anyone remember this?
This ugly little booger was a baby jumper started approx 9 months ago for darling Yoshimi who is now about 9 months and wouldn't fit into this if you steam boiled her for half an hour. It's also quite ugly. I can see it flying towards the dulani project or whatever it's called. Is it possible there are hundreds of kids running round war torn, far-flung places wearing ugly jumpers? Poor little buggers - I know it wouldn't matter to them what the stuff looked like as long as it was warm.
On the subject of knitting (which strangely, this being a knitting blog, I do seem to be talking about) I have been reading deeply and one might say obsessively of my new Elizabeth Zimmermann (or 'The Mann' as I am going to refer to her from now on) books. I'm on 'knitting around' which gives a different pattern for each month. I keep getting these urges to pledge to knitting each of these garments in the order given. And all those in The Mann's "Opinionated Knitter". The patters are just sublime and so easy to adapt. Lots are based on a percentage system so it doesn't even matter what your guage is as long as you know what it is. What a dude. The reason I bring this up here is because it has already occurred to the byrne brain that baby jumpers knit up faster than adult (dur) and still give you a chance to try out the techniques she uses. So watch this space.
Yeah, probably won't come to anything but I'm thinking about it a lot.
Monday, 18 September 2006
Catch up round up thing
Having been away means there is a lot to catch up on chez byrne. I did manage to get a little shopping done while I was away. How is it that in London you, until recently, had just 2 knitting shops, 2 bead shops and 1 stamping shop within zone 1. Then you go to Penzance and believe me when I say – this place is small. This place is so small you can walk from one end of the town to the other in 10 minutes. And that’s at my pace. Pooch could do it in 5 and Joe in about 3. And in this tiny town there were…. 2 knitting shops, 1 beadshop, 1 papercraft extravaganza and 3 other shops that had floors or sizeable sections given over to all things crafty. St Ives had a knitting shop and that is even smaller. There must be some sort of inverse square law to do with shops per square millimetre or something like that. Let me just practice my physics and whip up a small graph in excel…
One of the knitting shops in Penzance was one some of you will have seen mentioned in Vogue and other mags called “KnitWits”. This is it.
I think that is just about all people have the strength to read so I’ll leave it there. Except that I did have a little hair adventure. First I had a load lopped off then I did a home dye job. The eventual outcome was fortunately not comic but I did enjoy trying out various hairstyles, such as this one, along the way!
I almost forgot. I managed to put my back out again while I was away – too much rucksack carrying I suspect. It wasn’t as bad as last time but is taking ages to recover. It has meant I wasn’t able to do the sponsored walk on Saturday and I know it doesn’t sound like me to be bummered about missing exercise but I actually am really annoyed I missed this. Some people had sponsored me and so I feel like a bit of a woos. But we did sign up as a team (the NWKTog Group) and so the others bravely walked for me and for the Children’s Society. You can still sponsor the team here. Just £1 will count.
Friday, 8 September 2006
Hello Joe
Rather too much has happened in the last week. One of those things is that I have started a Zine. For those of you, like me up to about a week ago, who don’t know what this is think Blog being a web-log so Zine is a magazine. I used to do a physics dept one when I was at Uni but this is a loosely knitting based one with general crafty stuff and nonsense thrown in. It will have print run of 50 and the first issue is free. I’ll let you know when it becomes available and how you can get hold of it.
I haven’t been doing that much knitting recently although I am now the proud owner of one dubiously felted carrier bag holder. I think it needs some more hardcore washing though to shrink it better (innit) so we will see what the weekend brings.
I have various things on ebay at the moment including some Koigu. Take a look by clicking on the ‘lixie’ icon in the sidebar.
And lastly I don’t really know what this is. I just felt like it.
Wednesday, 30 August 2006
Guys, you gotta help me
....
Tuesday, 29 August 2006
Blogalogadoodah
I was going to blog mightily about knitting and such but when I downloaded my camera just now I found only one even slightly crafty and that is of the ATCs I am so obsessed with. Here it is.
The reason for this could be that instead of just sitting at home knitting this bank holiday weekened (not that there is ANYTHING wrong with that, oh dear me no, I went out to the City Farm in Mudchute (no I didn't just make that placename up - it is in Docklands). Those of you who have similar mental make-ups to my own (you lucky devils) will find this as amusing as I do. The commentary, though sparse, is genuine 'Pooch'.
Click here to view movie.
Hope that link works. Couldn't embed the movie as photobucket is being daft.
So anyway. I started a new therapist today. Her name is janet as in 'dammit janet' except I really can't imagine her sighing for any guy called Brad. I have had about 37million therapists before and so I know the drill. Family history, mental history, timeline of decline to putrid state now seated infront of them etc etc but wait....what can this be.....Janet is more akin to one of those vets who don't hang about waiting to be offered tea. They're straight in there up to the armpit telling you exactly what's wrong with your cow. So it was quite new and invigorating. But d'you know, I do love hearing people tell me about myself.
At least I kind of do.
I do when they are coming up with new and exciting names for whatever is wrong with me at that moment in time and when they put it in interesting ways. I like it when they take the metaphors and similes that I've been using (because I do, a lot) and develop them to their own ends. I like being told I'm a mixture of complete opposites and that I am complicated and am going to need to be really thought about. It's just so.....indulgent. It's like being told you have unusual eyes by an admirer or rare blood by a doner nurse. Like a man saying he can't work you out (in an admiring tone of voice) or that your doctor has never seen a rash quite like it. Maybe. It's just so..... me
Of course it's not all fun. But today I indulged in being talked about. She basically concluded that I don't trust myself and that I bottle everything up still and use therapy as a release valve rather that knowing how to release tension myself. Which is all true so next week we start doing something about it.
Penny left a comment about meeting up at the NEC knit show - I was so bummered to have missed you all - would have been great to meet up. I won't be at the NEC one as I have time off work booked to indulge in the Ally Pally one (talk about 'me' time. Oooo baby.)
Tonight I am off to a book group which is a new experience for me. We will be discussing "A Farewell to Arms" by Hemmingway. I don't want to put anyone off but my review could be summed up thus:
- Well-written
- Excellent descriptive passages
- Predictable, and disappointingly so at the end
I am the new bod so I get to choose the next book. It will be 'Spanking Watson' by Kinky Friedman in case anyone feels like joining in in an internet type way... Trust me! It's a classic.
Friday, 25 August 2006
Let us commence
It actually looks much nicer in the photo than it does in real life. I have taken badly against these colours. The yarn is from the regia brasil range and Bernie (in the office) LOVES them while I LOATHE them. Just goes to show. It's a funny old world.
My world now officially contains ATCs. These two are the first ones for the swap I have set up on swap bot. The first is 'just' textile (front then back below).
And the second (front only as the back is quite boring).
That's silk ribbon sewn trhough it that is. I have plans for lots more at the weekend and in true Byrne style have been on ebay and found a set of those holding pouches to keep what I plan to develop into a large collection in. Oh yes. (Poor pooch)
My swap bot addiction has replaced my ebay one which I guess is good in that I only have to spend minimally on the swap and there are a limited number of them. This is what I sent in my second swap - the girly box swap.
My buddy's fave colours are yellow and blue so I tried to get pampering things that were those colours. She is also a knitter so I included a couple of the postcards I was hawking on ebay. I have set up another swap for knitting magazines as I tend to buy them and then be a bit disappointed.
Poochwise things are good. Not even a cross word for almost two weeks now. Madwise things are looking sideways. I had a leetle bit of a problem 2 weeks ago (nothing to worry mum about Sian) and saw Dr P for the second time in 3 weeks to admit I'd been fibbing when I told him before that everything was fine. That man is such a dude. I have designed some intarsia socks for him and cast on last night. They will be sublime. He and I had the most amazingly frank conversation about all the hardcore side of being mad and he didn't turn a whisker with me spouting out all this stuff. In the end he recommended I cut the fluoxetine to 40mg a day and start taking 15mg mirtazapine at night. That is the one I was on about 5 years ago so I feel pretty comfy taking it. The only thing is the pharmacist only had the ones that dissolve on your tongue. They have artificial flavourings so taste OK except it wasn't til about 10am that I got any kind of proper taste back. Made my morning cuppa of hot orange squash distinctly lousy. I have to be careful and watch out for signs of seratonin syndrome as now I am taking two sources at once. Most of the symptoms sound like my normal existence though so I'm not worried.
So plans fos the bank holiday people? Mine include a massive tidying operation which includes carting about 8 bags of charity stuff to the nearest charity shop which is about 20 mins away by bus. 'How can one A Byrne be that far from a charity shop?' you ask? Yes, I know. Mistifies me too. There will also be a lot of photographing for ebay and making of ATCs and in my spare time I will be knittign profusely and planning more xmas presents. Oooooooo 3 days of time all to myself! Hoorah! Hope you all have a good one too. See you Tuesday.
Tuesday, 22 August 2006
ATCs and quilts (lots of photos)
Now let us get to sturdier matters. Let us speak of quilts and men. I've got some rather lovely photos which have mostly turned out reasonable and so this post should really be retitled 'quilt porn'.
Monday, 21 August 2006
Yarn Porn
Sadly I can't remember what all these are called but baby....who cares....
Coming Pooch's way we have:
Originally intended for Robbie but due to some over zealous knitting (I was enjoying knitting it so much I went a bit crazy on the foot length of my first toe-up effort) for Sian's extra-sized boyf Brown.
Possibly the Robbie replacement is a zingier shade of green....
Or maybe this in blue and pale cream....
And then am I not worth it? One for me....
Oh yeahhhhhhhh baby.
Here they are again all cuddling each other.
There is something really rather dirty about how much I like this yarn. Maybe if I did stashalong more often I'd appreciate all my yarn like this. Speaking of which my sister Sian took the piss at the weekend whenI turrned up with a felted bag on each shoulder and queried why I didn't just make a bigger bag. From the mouth of babes etc etc... So have finally tucked into that stash of DB Maya I got half price about 18 months ago. One large bag in deep reds with metallic threads and sequins woven in coming this way.
I also of course was at Festival Of Quilts on Friday (sorry about not meeting up with the blogger posse but only saw your email on saturday) but will write a separate report about that when have calmed down a bit.
No wait I forgot...
Wednesday, 16 August 2006
SSsssssssock-hop sock yarn
WARNING: Do not follow this link if you have similar willpower to me. DANGEROUS_LINK (you'll need to scroll down once you get to the page as the formatting has gone skew wiff)
Tuesday, 15 August 2006
Every ball of wool starts with a sheep shearer
Have a headache today. Still not caught up ons leep from the weekend and work is just one disaster after another. Fortunately I don't mean that what I am doing is a disaster it's just stuff like....
- CEO blaming everyone apart from himself for stuff
- Directors arguing publicly about policy
- Scorecards being actively avoided by senior staff
- Gossip flying about inconsistencies and favouritism
- Bitching in the lunch room
- People leaving phones to ring and ring and ring and ring and ring....
This last one is the most annoying as if there is one thing that annoys me it is ringing phones. Nails on a blackboard? Fine. Ringing phone? Dear God no.
Knitting as always makes everything seem better and here we have the coco bag base with stitches picked up around the edges on something like a 48" denise needle which is blatantly more than twice as long as would be useful.
Now the thing about denise needle sets is that you get lots of different length cords and you get lots of different size needles and you can slot them all together. This all comes in a nice box and everyone who gets one insists they will keep everything in the box and not leave bits lying about to get lost. This is my box.
You will notice the complete dearth of cables, no cable ends (should be 4), no connectors (should be two) and 4 pairs of needle ends missing. Hmph. A quick raid later and the situation was not much improved.
But at least I had a cable suitable for the bag so I did about 20cm of body last night alternating the orange and pink/red wools every 2/3 rows.
Here is a belated pic of the cotton mix socks from the yarn I got in Philadelphia (I think).
Note the pointy toes. I love socks with pointy toes and generally always make them like this. It makes them extra fun! I haven't worn these yet as I've still got to sew up the second one. I'm a bit worried they mgiht be a bit tough on the byrne-tootsies as cotton can be a bit unforgiving but will wait and see.
Now I am being a very good stashalong type person but I was on Taj yarns website (ONLY TO UPDATE MY ADDRESS ON A MAG SUBSCRIPTION) and saw these. Aren't they lovely? Keep scrolling down for the girlie ones but the cats are lovely too.
Monday, 14 August 2006
Stashalong - am so proud
The latest one I have joined is the magic yarn ball which just sounds like an excellent idea. You get a ball of yarn and rewind it wrapping in all sorts of little goodies and fun things. You can see pictures of previous ones here. Aren't they lovely? I love the idea of unwrapping and the before/after usefulness.
In case anyone feels similarly drawn I have also joined...Mark those Stitches (sign up deadline is tomorrow), Felt Pin Fantasy Swap and What's In A Purse. Some are US only but most are worldwide.
The weekend was a little bit oooo, a little bit ahhhhh, but thanks to you all for your comments and emails. Thw weird thing is Pooch and I really love each other and don't mean to keep hurting each other (I give as good/bad as I get, let's be honest). Anyway...
I was talking about stashalong. Last night I delved into the stash and cast on The little Coco bag. Is going to be orange and red striped althought he colours are both cascade 220 quatro so are a kind of plied tweed effect. The stripes won't be that noticeable. Photos soon....