"Bow down before me for I am your god"

That is exactly what these needles seem to be saying to me.

For yes, it is true, I, lixieknitsit, have now got denise interchangables in my possession. And they are just sooooooo good. Am going to get going on them tomorrow because tonight, of course, is poker. Texas hold'em to be exact and I am planning on whipping their ass's tonight.

Anyway, lots to show and tell today. As well as the needles in the post along came this wonderful book: jean moss sculptured knits. Does it live up to expectations? Well, kind of. The jacket on the cover is divine and will one day be gracing my bulgy form. The other patterns vary between genius and basket stitch but there enough of the former there to make me happy I bought it.

One more thing that didn't arrive in the post but did arrive today is these egg cups (two of them in fact) which are a present from Vishanti. She works for me but is also going out long-term with Pooch's mate Alex (not me - he is a different alex and male) because I set them up within about 2 weeks of her starting here. It's weird really because I only set them up because they were both single and mopey and here they are talking about kids (she wanted to scare him a bit last night!) and being all loved up. Mind you they are both 29 so definitely getting on a bit ;p

The gift (so lovely of her - she knows I love polka dots) came at a good time as there is trouble brewing at work. Apart from the industry manager absolutely loathing me and suspecting me of wanting to take over his dept (why?) there was someone fired today and that won't be the last of it although I won't put more just in case the other person suddenly make a life choice and start reading knitting blogs all of a sudden. I will post more on tuesday night. I had my appraisal today and John was really ppsitive about everything. When I asked what the catch was he constructively told me that people management was the weakest of my many skills which I found myself waiting for me to react badly too but instead I was just like 'oh, yeah, you're actually really right'. I am not a good manager. I mean, I get the work done and I keep them in order but as soon as one kicks off I am a bit lost. All this yucky caring stuff I got saddled with. I used to think having staff was the be all and end all and really meant you had arrived but now I couldn't care less. Project Management - that's for me - none of this people malarky.

There is a space on the form where you are supposed to put down future career aspirations and last time (in oct) I put down 'running an art collective'. This time I wanted John to put 'spinner' and he wouldn't! How do you say 'spinner' in management speak? 'Twisted fibre provider'? In the end we agreed on 'Alex is currently researching different opportunities'.

Anyway, back to real life...here is the finsihed bag. Now ask me (go on I dare you) whether I'm happy with it and I'm going to pause. The thing is it felted so damn much that all the original character of the yarn has gone. So bunging on some unfelted i-cord, even in the same yarn, looks a bit odd. I guess I'll suck it and see but hmmmm, I might take it off again.

I did that last night after I had finished.....SORTING THE HUGE AMOUNT OF BUTTONS JANE GAVE ME. Sooooo many buttons. Look at this.

Have you ever seen so many lovely buttons in your life? Jane just suddenly did the rabbit out of the hat thing with her bag on wednesday night and there they were, plus she says taking this lot hasn't even made a dent in her collection. Wow. Jane is a goddess among button worshipers. Aren't they just fab? If I do take off the i-cord I can feel another button plague descending on that bag!

So what else is going on? Well my dad and aunt have started reading this blog which is mildly freaky but fair enough. My aunt has renewed the invite to visit them in Wheaton (near Chicago) and I'd really love to but of course Pooch never will. I might go by myself next summer - or could see if Dad fancies another jaunt across the pond. I think this time I would have to save up hugely and combine it with a trip to NY to check out these amazing yarn stores I have heard so much about. Plus visit one of their funky (grass is always greener) knit groups that are rumoured to have, can it be true, *men* in them.

Plus I have decided to start selling my little knitting badges. I'm going to change the design just slightly though to make them more sensible. £2 each - what do you think? Too much? Will ponder over the weekend.

Hobbycraft haul

I love hobbycraft. I want that place to be my spare room and guests can sleep between the aisles. There's just so much good stuff. So here is a taster of what I went for:

So first up is fimo, obviously flavour of the month. Red sparkly and two called 'stone effect' which I thought looked quite tweedy plus some modelling tools.

More jewellery findings with which to expand my fimo repetoire. Plus some little marcasite beads. I'm thinking of rejigging the stitch marker side of things and start selling them again, even though so many others seem to have had the same idea....

Now this last one is a bit of a mish mash. Some blank cards as I have a cunning plan which I may remember to unveil at some point in the future. The heart cupcake cases just because they are so strawberry shortcake and twee and then the hearts on a strand of wire. Now it was Nickerjac that gave me this idea by incorporating a kind of tinsel into the edge of her edgy exchange gift. It basically makes the brim a bit more robust and you get to use funky stuff like hearts on wire to do it.

I have been tagged by purlpower so here goes...
id·i·o·syn·cra·sy
Pronunciation Keyn. pl. id·i·o·syn·cra·sies
A structural or behavioral characteristic peculiar to an individual or group.

Write down five of your own personal idiosyncracies. Then, if you wish, tag five people from your friendslist to do the same.

1. I regularly eat in the bath. In order to accomplish this with minimum inconvinience I have developed a system of using a tupperware tub of suitable size to hold the food and this floats around keeping my food dry and my bath food-free. The size is very important - it must be small enough to not look greedy and large enough to maintain some stability following the motion of a random body part.

2. Whenever I see a cat I stop mid-action/sentance and say 'Oo look there's a cat' and immediately leave whoevere I am talking to to go and stroke it. It will normallly run away when I get near it so I will then spend a lot of time following this initial approach following it as it tries to make friends with someone who hates cats.

3. I have to be in the right mood to see a film and I can be quite hysterical about this. This doesn't mean I have to be happy to see a happy film or anything like that - nothing so logical. It just has to feel right. I have never seen Titanic because it has always felt just oh so wrong.

4. I can not tell left from right without thinking about it for a second or two. This was an issue when learning to drive.

5. I feel more comfortable working in a cluttered area. Not a small area - just all mucked up. I basically like to have things where I can see them. My work desk is an ever changing sea of (currently) paper, a christmas party hat from 2004 with a big feather in it (I just took it off), some professional headphones, wires, business cards and a selection of red and black notebooks and writing implements. My sitting room floor (much to Pooch's distress) has things in discrete piles with no particular order to what is in each pile. And the bedroom has what Pooch has lovingly named 'byrne mountain' at the end of the bed.

On the subject of Pooch (who is another of my idiosyncrasies) he and I had a good talk this morning and are set to continue tonight. We have resolved to.....resolve a lot of things. All those people who have commented and emailed me privately about men and life in general - thank you so much. It has helped me see that no one is perfect and to appreciate the things in life that he is good at (hubba hubba) and the ways we do get on together and support each other. He's not so bad really, just don't quote me on that.

Soooo...hmmmmm...who shall I tag.......

3 things

1. Thanks everyone - commenters and private emailers. Still feel awful today but life carries on.






























2. Secret Pal - you are amazing. This is the yarn she has sent me. 50% cotton and acrylic. So soft and the colours are even nicer than they seem here. Then a beautiful mug with sheep on (baa!) plus marzipan chocolate which I've managed not to eat long enough to photograph and a tin on a keyring that says "Very Important Stuff" on it.

3. This is the picture of a temari ball I particularly loved when I found it before. Isn't it lovely? Got my weekends mixed up - is the 6th I go and meet Liz hich means she didn't get rained on this weekend (she'll get rained on next weekend instead - fingers crossed you won't)


Have experimented with blogger's own photo hosting thing and seems to be working quite well. Just a short post now as wanted to show everyone my SP presents before I ate them!



One last thing...a quote I saw on a yahoo list...
"I'm only as strong as the cocktails I drink, the hairspray I use, and the friends I have."

Tired, emotional outpouring

Obviously Pooch and I have had another little disagreement. I realise this is one of those things I'm going to put up here and then probably take down again almost instantly becaus it is foolish to wash your dirties in public but what the fuck. It helps to have it written down.

We went to an open-house tonight. I don't remember now if I've mentioned it before but Gav's dad died in the edgware road train. I haven't been talking or thinking about it much because I've been trying to cocoon myself from stress because of the madness. The open-house was an opportunity for friends and family to come round and support each other. When we got there there was a kind of service going on lead by a jewish guy and he was reading some bits in hebrew and talking about colin and then Gav read something and Colin's best mate talked about him ans all this. I found myself starting to cry and sniff fairly early on and wanted to just lie down and bawl. Since the meds increased I'd have thought my emotions would have been deader than ever but the opposite seems to be true. After a while pooch hugged me and told me he'd look after me.

I spent most of the rest of the night in the garden stroking the cat. The topics of where we'll move to next and holidays both came up and they are real flamers for Pooch (and me I guess) so were quashed. We got the tube home and were walking back when Pooch started talking about Charlie and the chocolate factory and how they'd added a cutesy ending. Man, this is so dumb and petty. Anyway, I don't see the problem when people change books for films as they are books, not screenplays. You pay your money, you make your choice. Pooch had given his opinion, I had replied, he spoke again and then after three words of my reply he cut me off and said we'd better stop talking about it - another flamer obviously. I thought about what Dr P had said about avoiding stress but then also thought about what the bbc brain programme said about men often just not realising when people are upset so I vocalised my feelings very calmly. I realise I had expectations of Pooch's reaction to me telling him how I was feeling and that part of my increase in agitation was the fact he didn't meet those expectations. I wanted Pooch to recognise that I was upset, am still depressed and had felt his conversation stopper was patronising and unhelpful. I didn't get that. And then I went against what Dr P had advised and summarised the situation as 'Our whole relationship is a series of conflicts' to which he replied 'maybe you'd be better with someone else then'. I know - I set myself up for that one.

I went for a walk after that and phoned the samaritans *again*. It's ridiculous I don't programme the number into my phone for speedy dialling seeing how they are the ones I've spoken to most out of all friends, family, colleagues and medical professionals in the last couple of weeks. 08457 909090 in case anyone needs it. I spoke to them for 10 mins and realised I was exacerbating the situation by being out without telling Pooch where I was going or how long I'd be. I thought he might be waiting up worried as he knows I've been suicidal recently. I got back and he was in bed, asleep. I woke him when I got in and he got annoyed about me putting the hall light on. I'm in the front room now where I'll sleep tonight when I feel tired.

Am I looking at this the wrong way? The way I look at it he has a suicidal girlfriend who has been upset and crying and then walks off into the night following an argument. And he goes to sleep. When I was going out with Steve a similar thing happened once. We were on our way back from the cinema and we fell out - I was very depressed then too but not officially as I hadn't been to the doc to have it made official and to get meds. I stayed on a park bench thinking and smoking a fag for about 30 mins. By the time I got back he had been out running around looking for me and was just picking up the phone to call the police.

Don't get me wrong. I didn't walk away in order to make Pooch worry about me. And it was only when the samaritan talked to me about how Pooch was feeling that I realised he might be worried and came straight back. I was gone maybe 20 minutes. But in that time he'd brsuhed his teeth and verything and fallen asleep.

Pooch and I only had a drama about him not supporting me earlier on in the week so I thought he understood that things weren't even at the moment. Especially after this evening at gav's. Poor Gav. Isn't it dumb to be depressed and concerned about my relationship when he has just lost his dad because some terrorists blew up that particular carriage? Looking around tonight I was feeling for gav but I was also wondering what would happen if I died. Would my friends and family stand around talking about how great I was? What would they say I had achieved? Apart from the fact my family hate each other and my friends are in such discrete groups they would have no shared memories. Basically, dude, I should have been in that carriage and Gav's dad - who seems to have been a really nice guy, should have been at home stroking his own damn cat. The cat, incidentally, is called 'chocolate'. My family could have mourned me as a victim rather than a selfish suicider but...another day and no mysterious brain aneurism strikes me down. The jewish guy was talking about god quite a lot. How can there be a god? People say it is all part of 'his' divine plan but what kind of plan involves starvation, torture, genocide and innocent death? I tried hard to 'find' god when I went into hospital but there is nothing there to find. The whole thing is a joke to make you feel less responsible for the nuts things that go on. Perhaps suicide is an obvious way to take responsibility for yourself.

But then...as Dr P would query, I do feel 'safe' tonight. Nothing is going to change and tomorrow I will wake up again in the knowledge that another night has passed without me dying in my sleep and that all the shit from today still needs to be dealt with. I feel like I should end with some upbeat jokey piece of haha about knitting but I can't think of anything. Nothing at all.

Shane Warne - has he finally got his hair right?

I think it has always been his hair that has let him down in the past. Pooch (who is lovely) has taken a perverse liking to watching cricket and so I have had some opportunity to observe the warne bonce of late and I like the hair for the first time. Enough about hair...although feel free to pick up on my bleh hair in later pics. Because today we are in picture central - I've got no less than 6 of the buggers to show you. Oh yes. To kick off we have the 2nd charity jumper complete with buttons. I'm not sure if eye lash yarn has reached the sub-sahara yet but it will do shortly (they asked people to make them as attractive as possible). These are for the feed the children appeal featured in simply knitting a month or so back.

In fact let's get this stuff out the way early - here's a bit of housekeeping. I was wondering what would happen to the fabric marker ink I used on the cotton when playing with sock yarn and basically it has washed at 40 degrees unscathed. Always good to know.

You can see here why it looked all patchy like this in the first place.

Second (or third maybe, depending on where you started counting) bit of housekeeping is the progress of Brown's xmas scarf. I started this at golders green and it looked nothing like this.

I decided the tenson was too tight, it wasn't wide enough and I didn't like the pattern I was using. So just a couple of minor niggles there. Ripped it and am going basket stitch on 7mm instead (recommended was 5.5-6.5). Has made a lot of difference and it might be boring to knit but at least it's simple and he'll like it.

So for the good stuff....allow me to introduce you to the i-believe-i-can-fly-cardigan. Made in the finest sari silk from the gorgeous Trudie at hipknits and finally sewn up this afternoon.

Here is a sultry side angle...

I know what you're thinking and yes, I shined my forehead especially for that photo. It's fabulous to wear, all slinky yet heavy and cold yet warm and smooth yet textured. Despite all these oxymorons (thank you gcse english teacher for teaching me that word - it stays with me even though your name has long gone) it is shedding like it's going out of fashion. Ideas on how to stop this? I have asked the UKHK list and I'll see what they come up with.

So another productively creative weekend. Next weekend holds Temari balls with Liz (hope she was OK at her festival this weekend - has been raining all day today) and...aha...my denise needles should arrive in the next few days so I can get started on the medallion loop-d-loop cardi in the drunk-yarn pooch bought me. Some of you will be wondering how I got Pooch to give in and pay out. Basically it is all down to Dr P and his wonderful advice, given to me on the day of the drunk-yarn. "Do not get annoyed Alex" he said "Put it in the bank and save it for when there's something you need or want." Dr P - you are a god among men. I think I have probably said this before but it's just so true. So during a further discussion while I was in the bath I played my trump card..."Stop going on about needles" says Pooch "Do you remember when I didn't go on about you not going to salsa?" I sploshed back. Ladies, I'm telling you, this is the way to go. Yes, it could be called a form of prostitution but hey I now own denise needles and didn't have to exert myself in any of the ways Pooch was suggesting I persuade him to buy them. And yes, I could have just bought them myself - but where's the fun in that?

Went to see the fantastic four last night and it was just my cup of tea - ridiculous action with loads of effects. Jessica Alba is ultra sexy. Captain fantastic is this fit welsh guy who's got the most chiseled cheekbone/chin combination ever and the baddie was just SO evil. He was excellent. Would recommend it as a good, fun film.

Quiz mania

But what does this mean?

You appear to be a Knitting Guru. You love knitting
and do it all the time. While finishing a piece
is the plan, you still love the process, and
can't imagine a day going by without giving
some time to your yarn. Packing for vacation
involves leaving ample space for the stash and
supplies. It can be hard to tell where the yarn
ends and you begin.
http://marniemaclean.com


What Kind of Knitter Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

This one was a given

You're Miss Marple! You look harmless enough, but
beneath your blue rinse and cardigan lurks an
intellect superior to any Chief Inspector. You
solve your cases by making everyone think that
you're senile and then hoisting them with their
own petard! Aha! You're also a good knitter.


Which fictional detective are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I love Miss Marple.

Show me the fimo *long post alert*

Well ratfans, you've been very patient with me and I aim to please so without further ado let me introduce you to....a sea of badges.


The three at the front have little rings in them so I going to ponder necklace pendants and dangly earrings. The red and white one front right is a ring! All for me!

Here is a close up of one of the colours.

This is green, purple and pink which might seem nuts but is a homage to Pixeldiva's clapotis. Actually in that picture the colours don't look the same as I remember from Wed when I saw it 'in the fibre' but this is my interpretation of them. Plus check out me using the word fibre there. Subtle, huh?

OK, before I continue I want to appeal to the ladies out there reading this. Over the last 18 months I've gone from a 10/12 to an 8/10 to a 14 to a 12 and am back at 14. The madness, you understand. During that time my tummy has grown slightly more and slightly less tubby *but* it has consistently remained proportionally fatter on the left (my left as I look down). Now, is this normal? Do tummy's increase disproportionately? Is there any other body part I should be looking out for?

In other news, not that much is more newsworthy than my stomach, I HAVE FINISHED THE CURSED CLAPOTIS woooooooo haaaaaaaa! Take that clapotis, I am unstoppable! I took a pic of me holding it up to show that it's longer than I am tall and then did a spot fat-under-the-chin-check (OK, double chin, yes) so decided to cut out the bit with my chin.

You've still got a thigh there so can probably extrapolate the chin(s) from that.

Just to give it a little bit of 'zing' I have sewn one of my labels into one end so that no one is in any doubt as to who is the daddy. Aren't they adorable? From mini labels


You may have thought I was mistaken using the parent gender 'daddy' rather than 'mummy', but you would be wrong. Who's done that bbc-what-sex-is-your-brain-test? This isn't one of those 'answer 8 questions and we'll give you a comedy icon to put on your blog' things. This is the good stuff. And you come out somewhere between 100 woman and 100 male with them both on the same line. The average man is 50 male and the average woman is 50 female. The average Byrne is 50 male. I've got a fricking male brain?! How the frickity frick did that happen? I mean, and I don't wish to sound stereotypical here, I like pink. I adore kittens and fluufy things like gypsy yarn (I do the latter bit in secret mostly though because the rest of the time I pretend to be a yarn snob). I may have committed my recent life to physics, problem solving, lateral thinking, flat shoes and big pants BUT how can I have a male brain? Pooch is now actually scared to do the test in case he comes out less male than me. He says this isn't why he isn't doing it but I reckon that's just feminine coyness.

Also finished the 2nd charity jumper at long last and cast on the 70's brown socks (for the 3rd time - the yarn is bearing up well). Have decided to absolutely definitely buy denise needles on Monday as this also happens to be payday. That is unless Pooch (who is a gorgeous boyfriend, very well-hung and a tiger in the sack as well as being extremely generous) offers to treat me to them.

PS: pooch now shamed into taking the test - he is 50 male too. He had thought when I said I was 50 male I meant I was fifty more male than the average woman, not that I WAS an average male. Is now looking at me funny.

Badges

That's 8 more badges then! I just haven't had any time to blog properly or read anyone else's blogs for the last few days. I'll catch up this weekend, I promise.

Offer of a lifetime

The people who comment on my blog are lovely. Very very lovely. So I figured...I need to make 10 fimo bages for the group. When it comes to it, once you start you may as well continue SO anyone who emails me at littlelixie at hotmail dot com before midnight tonight UK time (and I shall be strict on this!) with their postal address can be sure of having a badge some time next week as long as I don't go loopy in a bigger way.

So email away you discerning reader. You've got til the clock strikes 12!

More bombs

and I'm still standing. God knows what has happened this time but the whole transport system has apparently shut down again. Ah well. C'est la vie.

So anyway, since I'm here I should probably put something more interesting down than the fact I am still here. At the knitting group last night I was pounced on the minute I got there with demands for fimo badges for the group so the starbucks staff know who we are and can give us freebies. So that's my weekend sorted! Oh man, now I need to restart my computer. It never rains but it pours...

Thanks everyone

It really does help having you all wish me well. Thanks for caring xx Will post more later.

To blog or not to blog (no knitting)

I wasn't going to blog for a few days til things had settled down but then that is just the kind of behaviour my therapist has been trying to get me out of (keeping it all to myself and not worrying others with what's actually going on). Because, of course, things took a turn for the worse yesterday morning when woke up wishing I were dead and then it went on from there. The samaritans really are amazing. I am talking to them every day at the mo. I was very agitated yesterday morning and very upset and this great guy calmed me down and then I got very upset last night and another guy did the same again. Just got a massive headache this morning to show for it all. Feeling much calmer today.

Don't have to go in til 10 as I'm at a workshop all day (no, can't sit at the back and keep my head down - I'm one of the speakers!) and then have relaxing knitting to go to tonight. Going to take it easy for a few hours this morning.

I know I said there was no knitting in this one but I have been hard at work on my knitting dolly which is really making people give me weird looks on the tube as it has a little face painted on it and everything. Am making i-cord to embellish my bag. I now *hate* the clapotis. The decreases are taking so fricking long!!! I just want to wear the damn thing. Finally - am swatching for my step-dad's aran cardigan. Thinking of this pattern but is still all open.

Wow, people really love those little fimo knitting balls as much as I do! Guess what I'll be doing this weekend?!

And finally - something else to look forward to...Liz posted to the UKHK list about a jumper and there were some photos in her album of temari balls. She's invited me up to hers in a couple of weeks to learn how to make them. Have been looking at them online and they are sooo pretty. Will naturally post about how it goes. I'm so pleased I joined UKHK and started this blog - it's helped me meet so many amazing people.

fimo, knitting, but first...

How could anyone human create something so goddamn tasty?

To the uninitiated this is a picture of Gu Hot Chocolate Souffle - sold in packs of two at all the best supermarkets. To call this a dessert is...just not enough. These things are sooooo..ooooo...oooooooo...oooooooo good. Oh, man, just finished one and I want more , NOW! Down girl, be strong. Think of the 12-step plan..

Because, readers, the 12 step plan is going very very well. I have written it down up to step 4 but I've got a load more in my head and I want you all to know that I am now at a place where....I do not *need* to buy yarn, even if it's a really good deal or I know I'll use it *soon* or it's rare or whatever. I can choose to buy it - but I now have a choice. Yes, it is true, I have a cure for SABLE.

Maybe this is partly because I am having so much fun with what I've already got...? Here, for example, is some plain old cotton I bought I while back when I was in a yarn store and felt I *had* to buy something even though it was all quite ghastly. You know my idea with the fabric markers? Well, I went for it and let loose. Holdin the pen in one hand and the other end of the cotton in the other I positioned pen over yarn and just pulled it along. Because the yarn has a twist and because of something, probably physics, the yarn followed the path of least resistance and so only the plys that were originally under the pen got coloured. This produced this quite cool helter skelter effect.


So off I went...and on the right here is what happened. Now I had done a whole bit in red, which is the bottom, then some in variegated purple (dash, plain, dash, plain etc) and then mucking about with pink and red above that. Because of the way the yarn is it didn't work out as I thought it would but I quite like the effect.

The one on the left is just where I knitted a swatch in plain cotton and then drew on it with the pens. That's an 'N' with a exclamation mark under it btw. I have yet to wash them both and see how they bear up.

Now finally, so far - I'm still in the middle of a creative burst - I got home and immediately sat down and made these:

You see I picked up some cocktail sticks on the way home and filed the points blunter and cut them in half and then made more little balls and stuck 'em in and there they are. That's one of my little sticth markers above them. I quite like these! Now what to do with them?

1. Stitch markers - but they are a bit too likely to get caught in the rest of the knitting so probably not that useful.
   
2. Earrings - either as they are on studs or dangly. Except I don't have pierced ears so they would be clip ons.
   
3. Necklace pendant.
4. Jacks - you know that game you play with a bouncy ball and pick up little spiky things as it bounces? I know what I mean.
   
5. Runes?!

So endless possibilities. I think maybe jewellery. I am well into fimo jewellery at the mo after meeting the woman who runs this website: http://www.fireflygifts.co.uk/catalogue.php?cat=Jewel⊂=10&item=98
She was wearing the necklace that goes with this. I love it - something for the next time I'm good I think. There's loads of lovely stuff on the site. Oooo, how about a silver ball of wool and gold tipped knitting needles? Ooooooooooo.

3rd day on 60mg and was much easier today. Spoke to Dr P and he said I should stay with it for a week and then go back down. Ho hum.

Fimo and felting

Mainly felting really. Finished the french market bag and here it is, volumous in it's splendour, hanging off a part of Pooch.

I used 4 and a bit balls of debbie bliss soho from getknitted.net (great range, strange service). It's huge, I thought to myself, but it will felt down about a 1/3 so will be fine. You see I had thought ahead and used 7mm needles instad of the recommended 5.5 and the fabric had come out really nicely:


OK, so it felted down by about 2/3 and is now a handbag rather than a market bag, and quite possibly the sturdiest one ever! A la....


Very excitedly danced into Pooch's high tech programming/my stash room and of course, he saw a different use for it!

Incidentally he says he is going to start a blog called "pooch's kennel" so that he can put his side of the story across when I am moaning about him on here...lol.

I bought one of those french knitting dollies as i-cord seems a bit too movement intensive and am going to needle felt some embellishment onto it. Watch this space (will be a while as the fabric is so thick it may take weeks to dry, even in this weather).

On to the fimo...I wanted to try and make some beads that looked like balls of yarn so that's what the ones on either end are. In terms of authenticity I prefer the left, but for ease of making it is the right for sure. The middle one is because when wonderful Trudie sent me her fimo stash she had some fabulous silver and gold in it which I had never seen before so I thought I'd try a bit out and see what happened - I love it!


Had emailed silkwood about some yarn i saw at nickerjacs - the one I mentioned at the end of my last post. Tess emailed me back and it is £12 for 100g and if you see this stuff you would expect twice that. But best of all she has invited me out to their studios as well - I haven't been this excited since Nickerjac invited me to hers! They have all the angora rabbits there and instead of uding a microwave to fix the dye they have big ovens - or so I hear! You can tell I'm excited because my exclamation mark quotient has markedly increased.

All this means today is going really well so far despite the fact I hardly slept. Headaches are there but not bad enough to need paracetamol and despite my wonderfully creative day already I have more planned for the rest of it. If all goes to plan i will have some dyed sock cotton using those fabric marker pens I bought on Monday by nightfall. *Sigh* if every day could be like this one....

Also excellent news adding to my happiness - secret pal has been in touch and parcel two is on the way. I keep hoping parcel one will turn up as at the moment it is still awol. So disappointing for both of us but am sure I will adore whatever the second contains.

Ho hum

Things very up and down today. Knit flicks was good but the film 'festival' was v weird. An erect nob, fisting and oral sex on a 'lady' plus some sort of weird intermingled storylines type plot. Didn't think highly of it although the nob was nothing to be ashamed of.

Loop on the other hand I think very highly of. Am not feeling like doing a write up now but Nickerjac has done an excellent review plus pics so skip over there for more. met Noel and some others too so was good to see what they had on the needles (I was still bashing away at clapotis...still...)

The increase in pills hasn't gone very smoothly and is presumably why I haven't keeled over to sleep yet. Had the bad thoughts again on and off all day plus headaches. Been at a bar all eve for some party but wore the mask the whole time. Will just have to persevere for a few more days til it all kicks in.

More spinning tomorrow....or today rather. Feel I ought to include some image so here is one I like..


I love this kind of fleece (wensleydale). Nickerjac had some from silkwood yarns where occasioanlly the curly bits were left dangling and it was fabulous. Need to find out exactly how crazily expensive it is.

Every can has a silver lining

By the time I got to the hospital I was feeling truly dreadful. I was a bit early so sat on a bench with a can of 7-up. Then this lorry pulls up right in front of me...

An omen, I thought. Then I looked down and saw my can of drink...

Ah, I thought. Maybe the only way is up. And then, and I'm not kidding, an empty hearse pulls ou of the road just to my right. I didn't have the camera in my hand so just sat there open mouthed watching it. Still astonished I looked to my right and there is a 'full' hearse, complete with flowers, plus 2 empty mourning cars waiting to pull out. Enough of fricking omens, I thought to myself and went in.

Dr P is a wonderful man - truly the most intelligent and understanding I've ever met. He explains how the male psyche works and so now I am not annoyed with Pooch but have, under Dr P's advice, 'banked it' for later use. Am now on a whopping 60mg fluoxetine a day and he is leaving a decision about lithium til Monday but that would only be short-term to help me over this 'episode'. Once I am over it he's going to try me on another pilllllllllllllllll.

So I left feeling better and with a new understanding of the Pooch-brain and made my way to the British Museum (got lost, but I hardly need to mention that as it happens with such regularity). I realise now that I only took two pics while I was there, and one of them was of pink lemonade with my hand dyed wool in front as I loved the colours.


The other is of Jenny, Elaine and Natalie - the old school posse as we are all veterans of such gatherings. Haven't seen Jenny for ages as she pretends to enjoy dancing more than knitting on wed eves now. Was good to catch up and meet lots of new people.

You know I'm now worried I've got Elaine's name wrong. How embarrasing - sorry :(

Finally, I got home to find a very drunk, very upset Pooch. Turns out there was more going on today than he'd said but won't go into that here. He had apparently staggered into Liberty (and undoubtedly given the poor knitting woman there a surprise) by demanding some 'good stuff' and then asking her whether it was all the same dye lot and pointing out that of course it wasn't as good as debbie bliss maya or noro. God knows what she thought. So I am up 10 balls of cashcotton in a lovely heathery colour.

He also got a pattern book to go with it so it's either a cardi out of there or the dreamcatcher cardi from loop-d-loop. I'll have to work out if I've got enough for that one.

Many thanks to everyone who commented - I basically did everything that everyone said at some point yesterday (apart from actually going to salsa). It looks like the Poochster and I are OK for another day. Now I have to go off and eat some breakfast and stuff myself with 3 pills and paracetamol to combat the side-effect-headache. Wish me luck!

Salsa tonight

1. Pooch agreed three weeks ago to go to Salsa tonight.
2. It has come up in discussion several times since then.
   
3. He said about 10 days ago that he had heard there would be lots of women there looking sexy and dancing - he now says this was not an indication he wanted to go but an attempt to make me uncomfortable about going.
   
4. He just told me at about 9.30am this morning via text that he actually did not want to go.
   
5. He has left it to me to tell his friends about his decision.
   
6. I would now be the only one not coupled up if I still go which means I'd be dancing with the leftovers.
   

He has suggested it is unreasonable for me to be upset about this as he only originally said yes to stop me from becoming annoyed and I should have known that. So, acknowledging the fact that I did find it surprising he agreed so easily in the first place and that I know him quite well and was aware it was quite likely he would disappoint me again, should I be annoyed? And, depending on how I take this (resigned or annoyed) what should be my course of action?

THE best day

Today, because i was good in a pastlife or something, I got to go to Nickerjac's studio. It was ...a...w...e...s...o...m...e. There was wool *everywhere* and dyes and needles and postcards and beads and oh wow it was the place good knitters go when they retire, die or win the lottery. Plus of course it had Niki in it and she was the best bit. She knows everything and let me dye some of her own wool that was going to be used for public consumption and everything. She got going like a fish gets down to breathing under water while I had a little bit of a try out - guess which is which...

Yeah, that is it, that little reddish splodge in the bottom right of the bowl. Under her expert tutorlege (how do you spell the damn word?) and bolstered by ice cream she sent me into the dyeing room ALONE. Just like that. It was like when the bird gets tired of waiting for it's chick to learn to fly and so gives it a push over the edge. She was on hand but otherwise I was flying solo, so off I went. And it was splendiferous, truly, it was wonderful. And here is me with the finished product.

It's drying in the kitchen at the mo. So excited and impatient to see it knitted up. I think maybe a purse, but I will ponder that more later. It really was the best day - I wish things were different and I wasn't so attached to my income. I wish I could take the chance and go for it and I really should do considering my brush with death last year. All I've done though is carry on just doing what I was before. Anyway, don't want to get all down after such an excellent day. It really was just so good.

There is a yarn store called 'creations' just down the road and went in but it was SO hot in there. Got 2 balls of wendy mosaic in a stone-ish colour as sian's boyfriend wanted a scarf just like the one I gave her last xmas but in a different colour - and here is just what I need. It looks quite impressive close up!


Have managed to get quite a lot of the french market bag done, especially as I only cast it on at the group last night.

And check this out - I cast on and did the first zillion rows on double points - uh-huh, yeah baby, oooooh yeah. Me using double points, followed by circulars. I've got it all going on now.

My final photo for the day concerns another idea that came to me in bed - this time concerning needle holders. I haven't quite developed the detail yet but it meant that I felt justified in buying a cheap table cloth (with daisies on) and a plain, clear shower curtain. I'll keep you updated on how it goes. The little circle things are stitch markers (because nickerjac uses these ones and I want to be her...she's so cool)


I was supposed to be going to a birthday thing tonight but have major PMT. It's weird that it only really comes out when I'm with Pooch. Actually that's just me letting it come out then. Poor Pooch...he is lovely.

I am trying to reach the place I have reached with jewellery (other than, you know, diamonds and the good stuff). I see it now in accessorise or pound shops (good one in bethnal green btw) where I pick something up anf try it on and think oooo that's nice but then think 'i just dont need it' and PUT IT BACK. I think this briefly happened this afternoon in that shop. There was lots of kooky stuff but I kept picking things up and thinking "yeah, but what would I do with it" and putting it back again. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED WITH YARN BEFORE. Maybe this is it. Maybe there is a 12-step plan in this. Maybe there isn't but I think it probably deserves more thought. Hmmm, ponder.... - ponder away little byrne.

I love it, but what is it?

This is a now common reaction to my little ball of fluff (no, not Pooch) since it was created yesterday. I speak, of course, of 'the ball' as it is known. Anna - you are right, it is just a big ball of fluff, not a ball of yarn I am going to use to knit with. It is done by needle felting, which is when you repeatedly stab a ball or lump of unspun wool with a small barbed harpoon type needle. It messes all the fibres (there's that word again) up and makes it stick together. It is basically felting but without soap and water and with a harpoon. I made the basic ball first with some boring stuff then harpooned the colourful curly bits on afterwards. There is a link to a Yahoo needle felting group in the left column somewhere so click on that to see a cute bear that someone has made. You have to join the group to see the other pics but some of them are awesome. I can't remember now how this fascination started but I am well into it after just one attempt and have only sustained two superficial wounds! (Needles VERY sharp - fingers very unfeltable.)

What is your business?

Not a philosophical question but a true to life one asked often, even by people I have already told. It is, in essence, providing unnecessary things to crafty people to allow them to emblazen themselves with the language and imagery of their chosen craft. So, for example, I might wear a t-shirt that says 'BORN TO KNIT' on it. My favourite is 'Man enough to knit, strong enough to purl' except of course I am of the female persuasion plus someone in america is already using that one. There will also be mugs, notelets, baby-things, wrapping paper and whatever else springs to mind. Tea towels maybe. I have grand plans but no cash! Incidentally, anyone interested in putting a couple of grand into a depressed woman's crazy business do get in touch.

How could I forget?!

Finished the damn OST project and took it round to the dti personally. The dude there told me it was just in time to go out to all the heads of the research councils to be best practice and to lead the way in what they should provide to the OST. Aha, chuffed. Have told the director who was 'overseeing' it at work and he got v excited. I'm telling you, if I don't see some sort of bonus as a result of this (going into work during my holiday! I work for a charity for physicists for goodness sake - nothing should be that important) I'm going to be rather miffed.

*such* a productive day

So we'll gloss over dinner. I followed the recipe to the L.E.T.T.E.R. and it all stuck - edible but looked as if someone had already eaten it. So we'll leave that behind and move on. A rather irritated me wearing my lovely scarf - all finished!

I love the suggestion that the wool fairy will now come and leave something under my pillow :) I haven't done anything this quick for ages and even though in many ways it is hideous, I absolutely love it. (I may well be wearing it at the Knitting and Crochet Guild meet-up on Friday. British Museum restaurant at 5pm for anyone in the vicinity.) Here is a close up, mainly just so that I can use the word fibre again - check out those....fibres.


I know what you're thinking - anyone can pick up some 20mm needles and three balls of whatever from their stash and knit a scarf. And you're right. But B*E*H*O*L*D* the ball.

Oh yeah, baby, work it work it. I needle felted some merino into a rough ball and then added the wednesleydale or whatever the (blatantly brightly coloured) sheep are called over the top. I've deliberately left it a little fuzzy so I don't lose the texture of the we....whatever sheep bits.

Just to make this post even longer I wish to report that I went to see my accountant today. Yes, my accountant. Ha! I have an accountant! It was my first consultation about starting a business and has got me all fired up again. I came home and rang LLoydsTSB for a loan. I have banked with them for 14 years so I didn't expect any problems and indeed everything went swimmingly until...."have you had any health problems necessitating a visit to a doctor in the last 12 months" 'yes' "oh....what was it in connection with" 'Depression' "oh - it seems you've been declined for that loan but you can have one over a shorter pay back period at a higher interest rate" ....just incase you go nuts again miss byrne and we don't get our money back. Dude!! I'm not keen on multiple exclamation marks but...dude!!